My Story
by eparkin23
Summary: This story highlights the trials and tribulations Maura and Jane face as they try to navigate their way through their ever-changing relationship. Pregnancies, new jobs, weddings, the works! Chapter 1 takes place some time after 5X10 and it is AU from there. *Rizzles, slow burn*. N.B. Flashbacks are written in italics and chapter 10 has been rewritten, so please check it out!
1. My Story

I'm lying in a bed. There is a commotion going on around me but I am too distracted, too heartbroken to notice. I realise that this moment, is the moment my whole world will collapse. All too suddenly, everything I know, everything I love has irrevocably changed. But this is not where my story begins.

_"How could I have been so stupid? I should have noticed. I am the chief medical examiner of the commonwealth of Massachusetts. I should have noticed this."__I berated myself. _

_I, Maura Isles, should have indeed been able to detect that I was pregnant. Not only am I a doctor, I am a woman. I know my body better than anyone. Yes, I could not objectively evaluate the situation, however it was obvious. _

_Firstly, I was late. I am never late. I attributed the delay in my menstrual cycle to stress. I think unconsciously I knew that there was more to it, I just wasn't ready to accept it. _

_Another tell-tale sign was that I kept snapping at Angela and she really didn't deserve it. She was just performing her usual routine, but for some reason her presence infuriated me. I felt smothered. Figuratively speaking, I was saved by a phone call, summoning me to a crime scene. _

_Once I arrived, I was greeted by Jane and the unmistakable stench of a decomposing body. I had both seen and smelt much worse than this, yet I struggled to fight the urge to vomit. I ran as fast as I possibly could in my stiletto heels, mentally cursing Jane for being right about wearing inappropriate footwear to a crime scene. I made sure I was out of sight before proceeding to expel the contents of my stomach. I had hoped that my sudden spell of nausea had gone unnoticed, but Jane knew instantly. I felt her place a gentle hand on my back. She began to rub in circular motions and whispered in dulcet tones, trying to soothe me. After ensuring that I had finished, Jane handed me a bottle of water. _

_"Here; drink this, you'll feel better. I still have some of Frost's breath mints in the car." _

_She gently guided me to her car. _

_Unsure of what to say, or how to thank her, I began by saying "those breath mints-" _

_"Are probably out of date, I know, but I haven't had the heart to throw them out" Jane interrupted. _

_I looked into her eyes. I could see clearly the pain caused by Barry's death. Jane may act tough but I can see right through her stony facade. She believes that showing emotion makes her weak. It doesn't, it makes her human. Jane Rizzoli is the strongest person I know, emotional or not. _

_"Actually, what I was going to say is that those breath mints sound really good right now!" I interjected. _

_She laughed, nudging her shoulder against mine. Jane opened the door for me and gestured towards the passenger seat. _

_"What about the victim? I haven't had the chance to conduct the preliminary examination of the body yet." I exclaimed. _

_I have never been one to let personal circumstances get in the way of me doing my job. Jane knelt down and looked me in the eye. _

_"Maura, you're sick. I know you want to help but it is important you get better. I had Korsak call Pike the second I saw the colour drain from your face! I'm taking you home-" _

_"But-" I interjected again, only for Jane to chime in "no buts." _

_She looked at me and I folded my arms, let out a sigh and noted the involuntarily furrowing of my brow. I felt like a child being scolded by their parent. At least, that's what I imagined it would feel like. Jane got in the car and began to drive. We remained in silence for what felt like eternity but couldn't have been for more than five minutes. _

_"But what about my car?" I quickly spluttered._

_"I'll take care of that. You just focus on getting better." Jane explained lovingly. _

_"I actually feel much better now. I don't know what came over me. The last time I suffered from emesis, I was in college!" _

_I chuckled and glanced over at Jane. The confusion was written all over her features. She pulled over as soon as it was safe to do so. _

_"Emesis means-" I began to explain. _

_"I know what it means, Maura. It means vomiting." _

_Sensing the annoyance in Jane's voice, I thought it best to question her confusion. _

_"If you knew what emesis meant, why did you look so confused?" _

_"Isn't it obvious Maura? You were sick at a crime scene, my mother keeps ranting about your recent mood swings..." __She looked at me, searching for some kind of recognition before continuing. "Maura, I think you're pregnant." _

_Unsure of the correct way to behave in such a situation, I laughed again. _

_"I'm not pregnant Jane." _

_Jane looked hurt and pain glazed her eyes once again. _

_"Are you sure? Have you taken a test? Maura, not long ago I was experiencing the same symptoms as you-" her voice broke. _

_She had barely spoken about her miscarriage, yet it was evident that it still plagued her. I felt my eyes well up and I was unable to prevent the single tear from escaping. _

_"I can't be pregnant, Jane." _

_I looked away. Even Jane's untrained eye could diagnose me. The realisation dawned on me; Jane was right. I, Maura Isles, was pregnant. I began to sob uncontrollably. Jane instantly embraced me, holding me closely to stop me from shaking. _

_"It's going to be okay, Maura. You are not alone in this." _

_I knew she was referring to my recent breakup with Jack. He accused me of putting my work before him and he was right. Before Jane, my work was the only relationship that has remained constant. I had trouble letting that go; my job meant everything to me. Well, almost everything. I was jolted back to the present when Jane began repeating my name. _

_"Maura, did you hear me?" _

_I looked at her and shook my head. "Sorry" I mumbled. _

_"It's okay, Maura. I was just saying that I think we should stop at the pharmacy on the way home. You can wait in the car and I'll pick up a couple of tests."_

_ I was so grateful to have a friend like Jane. I never thought I would be so lucky. My whole life, I had difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. Jane was the only person who had ever tried to get to know me, the person behind the Google-mouth and designer clothes, the real me. She was the only person I'd ever let in. _

_"Thank you, Jane. For everything." _

_"That's what friends are for." She replied nonchalantly. _

_The rest of the journey was a blur. I couldn't remember Jane stopping at the pharmacy, or pulling into my drive for that matter. She got out of the car and then helped me to my feet. I was somewhat unsteady and thankful to have Jane at my side. She was always there to catch me. I rummaged through my purse, fumbling for my keys. _

_"Dammit" I exclaimed. _

_"Here, let me." Jane stated as she took my purse. _

_She found my keys instantly. She unlocked the door and guided me to the couch. I smiled at her appreciatively. There were no words necessary, for Jane just knew. She was so good at that. _

_"Maura, do you want some coffee? No, coffee is bad, very bad. I'm sorry. Let's have some tea instead." _

_It meant a lot to me that she remembered. She returned to the couch, carrying two mugs. _

_"I'm sorry if it tastes bad. I haven't had much experience of making tea." _

_I gratefully accepted the tea and carefully took a sip. _

_"It's lovely. Thank you, Jane." She just nodded. _

_She then took a sip of her own drink and a look of disgust washed over her face. _

_"Maura! I thought you said it was lovely! That's just nasty!" _

_She abruptly placed her mug onto the coffee table. _

_"It is lovely. Wait, you're drinking tea?" I questioned. _

_"Yes and it's gross!" Jane retorted. _

_"But you hate tea. You drink coffee. Black with far too much sugar." I recalled._

_ "Right, but for the next nine months coffee is off limits." _

_I realised then that she was cutting out coffee for me, as an act of solidarity. _

_"Jane, I appreciate the gesture but you really don't have to-" _

_"I know I don't have to Maura, I want to. I'm here for you. Every step of the way." _

_I began to cry again. I tried to stop but I couldn't. _

_"Hey Maur, it's okay. I didn't mean to make you cry." Jane comforted me again. _

_"It's not you, it's me. Or my hormones to be exact."_

_ I noticed that I had left a trail of mascara on her pristine white shirt. _

_"Take off your shirt" I ordered. _

_"Not this again Maur!" Jane joked. _

_"__Your shirt, it's all damp and covered in my mascara-" _

_"it's fine, really. I've been covered in much worse substances than your tears and mascara." _

_She took my hand in hers and wiped my tears away with her other hand. _

_"Are you ready to take the test?" She questioned. _

_I nodded and replied "It's not like I need time to study for it!" _

_She laughed at this and I did too. _

_"Look at you making a joke! I knew you had it in you!" Jane added proudly. _

_She handed me the box of tests and I took them into the bathroom. _

_"I'll be right outside if you need me." Jane called behind me._

Jane kept her promise, as she always did. She accompanied me to every appointment, she helped me tell Jack and was there to offer support when he rebuffed me. She really was amazing. She still is. I've realised now that I did not tell her that enough. Now it may be too late.

_One day, we were sitting at the counter in my kitchen, drinking yet another cup of tea. I always loved moments like that; just me and Jane, no work, no stress, just two people spending time together and enjoying each other's company. _

_"I still can't believe how quickly my pregnancy has progressed! It feels like only yesterday I was sitting in your car when you told me I was pregnant!"__I mentioned as I affectionately stroked my distended abdomen. _

_"I know! Who knew your twenty week appointment would come around so quickly! Are you excited? I know I would be." Jane added sadly. _

_Initially, Jane would offer me helpful advice she had picked up during her pregnancy. Now, we were equal, both learning as we go along. _

_"I am excited; I can't wait to find out whether this baby is a girl or a boy. Not that it matters to me. I just want this baby to be healthy. I'm sorry Jane. I know this must be hard for you and I really do appreciate you doing this with me." _

_I didn't want to cause Jane any more upset but it was important that she knew I understood and was there for her if she ever wanted to talk. _

_"It's not your fault Maur. I will always be there for you, day or night. Thank you for letting me be there for you." _

_Jane's reply raised more questions than it answered. She was doing me a favour, why was she thanking me? _

_As if she could read my mind, Jane explained "Since I lost my baby, I've longed to do all of these things, to have a little family like yours." _

_Jane's confession broke my heart. It must have been so difficult for her, trying to be happy for me, to be there for me whilst she had lost everything. Jane Rizzoli has such a big heart (metaphorically speaking of course), she is so selfless and loyal. _

_"You do Jane." I stated with absolute certainty. _

_"You are a member of this family and we are so fortunate to have you." _

_I meant every word. My baby and I were lucky to have her. They say that blood is thicker than water, but I disagree. Biologically speaking, Jane is not family but there is so much more to it than just DNA. I don't know who initiated the embrace, however I do know that it was exactly what we needed. _

_Jane broke away from me saying "Come on Maur, we don't want to be late for your appointment. I know you like to be early for these things." _

_I flashed a bright smile and collected my things. _

_This was it. This is what it truly meant to be happy._

I remember vividly that moment of sheer joy. I know now that moments pass, that happiness is short-lived and that life turns on a dime. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept.

"_Placenta previa? What the hell does that mean?" Jane asked aggressively. _

_"It means that the placenta is lying too low in my uterus and covering my cervix. It means that there could be complications and even premature delivery." I stated matter-of-factly._

_ I felt numb. This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. Just moments earlier I was so unbelievably happy and now everything was going wrong. We drove home in silence, both overwhelmed by what we'd just been told and both unsure of what to say to each other. We walked inside, still not saying anything but needing to say something. Jane was the first to break the silence. _

_"It's going to be okay Maur. Nothing is going to happen to you or your baby, because… because I won't let it. I know you, and I know that you are probably thinking about Murphy's Law" _

_And she was right, I was. If anything bad can happen, it probably will._

_ "but you can't think like that Maur. You are not most people, you are special. You deserve to be happy. There isn't anyone more deserving than you. You are the kindest, sweetest, smartest genius I know and you definitely don't deserve all this crap." She sniffled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears._

_ The pain I felt was unbearable, but it was even worse seeing Jane hurting too. I did not like to be hugged when I was very upset, but at that moment I decided to make an exception. I needed Jane and she needed me. I hugged her tightly and she hugged me tightly in return. Before I could even think about what I was saying, words slipped from my lips._

_ "I know I was scared at first, I still am, but I want this baby. I can't lose my baby, Jane."_

_ "I know Maur, I know. You have been through so much and you will get through this. She is a fighter, just like you."_

_ Jane gestured towards my abdomen and as she did, I felt it. The most amazing feeling I have ever felt; I felt my daughter kick for the first time. Almost as if she was letting me know that Jane was right, that she was a fighter. Without words, I grabbed Jane's hand and placed it on my abdomen._

_ "She's kicking? She's kicking! This is amazing Maura!" Jane exclaimed._

_ I realised then, that even on the worst days, there's still a possibility for joy. _

I was so excited for my daughter's arrival, yet the very thought terrified me. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms and know that she was safe. I took early maternity leave. I loved my job, but I loved her more. A few days after my twenty week scan, and the diagnosis of placenta previa, Jane moved in with me. It didn't seem that different as we would spend so much time together anyway, but I did feel so much safer knowing that she would be there when things went wrong. And she was.

_I was sleeping soundly until I was awoken by an excruciating pain, radiating from my abdomen. I recognised the severity of the situation. I called out to Jane who immediately rushed into my bedroom._

_ "Maura, what's wrong? Oh my god, Maura…" _

_I followed her gaze. There was blood, so much blood._

_ "Maura, can you walk? We need to go to the hospital, right now. I'll drive, it will be much quicker than waiting for an ambulance." _

I don't remember the drive, or even arriving at the hospital. I just remember lying on a bed, this bed, recalling the events that led up to this moment. I am aware that there is a commotion going on around me but I am too distracted, too heartbroken to notice. I realise that this moment, is the moment my whole world will collapse. All too suddenly, everything I know, everything I love has irrevocably changed. As the world around me begins to fade into darkness, all I can do is hope that this is not where my story ends.


	2. Jane's Story

**Author's Note: ****: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, follow or favourite 'My Story.' I would also like to apologise for taking such a long time to update... I really struggled with this chapter and have re-written it so many times! I really appreciate all of your support and can only hope that the following chapter will live up to your expectations! **

* * *

I can't remember the last time I was in a chapel. Hell, I can't even remember the last time I said a prayer. In my line of work, it's hard to have faith; you see innocent people murdered, you lose colleagues, friends and face your own mortality on a daily basis. I'm here because I don't know what else to do and I want to be able to tell Maura that I did everything I could.

"God, if you're up there and listening to me, I just want you to know that you have a sick sense of humour. First Frost, then the baby – my baby, and now _this_? This isn't fair. I get it. I was an idiot and would've been a terrible mother. I shouldn't have put my job before my kid, but I did and I can't take that back. I deserve to be punished for that but Maura hasn't done anything wrong. She is a good person and she'd be an amazing mom. It get it – it sucks that people are always asking you for things and never giving anything back. Maura has saved me more times than I can count… And would care to admit. There has to be a miracle left for her. Please, please don't take her from me. Don't take her baby from her."

I heard the door open and then footsteps behind me. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and for a brief moment I thought it was Maura. I know it was crazy, but I really wanted it to be her.

"Janie, what happened? How's Maura?"

"I don't know, ma. I don't know."

"_Maura, can you walk? We need to go to the hospital, right now. I'll drive, it'll be much quicker than waiting for an ambulance."_

_I could see the fear burning in her eyes. Those beautiful hazel orbs, usually so full of love and light. She was so terrified and there was absolutely nothing I could do to make it better, to make her better. I have never felt so useless or helpless in my life. I scooped Maura up and she gently placed one arm over my shoulder, whilst the other cradled her stomach. She would be an amazing mother. She already is. If only she would just get the chance to prove it to herself._

"_It's going to be okay Maur. You're going to be okay. Everything is going to be just fine, you'll see." I desperately repeated over and over again. I'm not sure who I was trying to convince more, her or me._

_I lowered Maura onto the passenger seat. She felt like a china doll, so fragile and so perfect. She was perfect. I wish I'd told her that. Snapping myself out of whatever trance I was in, I quickly buckled her seat belt. I rushed around to the driver's seat, hopped in the car and just drove. _

_My eyes darted back and forth from the road to Maura. Her eyes were growing heavier and she was so pale. I accelerated again. I was way over the limit but I didn't care; all I cared about was Maura, the baby and getting them both to the hospital. _

"_Stay with me Maur. Please, just stay with me." I chanted._

_Within minutes we were outside the hospital. I parked the car by the entrance and leapt from the vehicle. I ran to Maura and scooped her up once more. This time, she didn't move. Her body was limp and lifeless. _

_I barged through the automatic doors, frantically calling for help and spouting details about Maura, the baby and the placenta previa. Maura, my Maura, was torn from my grasp and placed on a gurney. _

"_Where are you taking her? I'm not leaving her. I promised to never leave her!"_

"I let them take her. I failed her." I couldn't fight it anymore. I couldn't fight the pain or the tears. I had let Maura down when she needed me the most.

"Janie, you did the right thing. The doctors are taking care of her because of you. You brought her to them. You could never fail Maura. Everything you do is for her and that baby. She would be devastated if she could hear you talking like that."

Ma was right. I hate it when she's right.

"I can't lose her ma. I can't lose my best friend." There was so much I wanted to say but I just couldn't get the words out.

"I know baby, I know."

Ma pulled me close and just held me. As much as I hate to admit it, I needed that.

We stayed like that for hours, waiting to hear something, anything. No news is good news, right?

"Detective Rizzoli?"

I jumped to my feet and turned to face the doctor. I felt a lump in my throat, a knot in my stomach and great pain searing through my heart. This was it.

"How's Maura? Is the baby okay? Please just tell me they're okay."

I looked into the doctor's steel blue eyes, desperately trying to get a read on him. I couldn't discern his solemn expression but I knew whatever he had to say wasn't good.


	3. Our Story

"Please take a seat ma'am."

"I don't want to sit! And do I look like a ma'am to you? Don't answer that. That woman over there, you can call her ma'am –"

"Jane, please. He's just doing his job." Ma interrupted.

Although I hate it when people interrupt me, I'm glad she did. I was angry and hurt and I let the little things get to me. This man was only trying to do his job. He had done everything he could for Maura and I yelled at him.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I explained as I ran my fingers through my hair.

I took a seat at the pew. The doctor was right, I should probably sit for this.

"Please continue, doctor." I begged.

The doctor let out a long sigh. It was hardly reassuring. Ma took my hand and squeezed it. She loved Maura like she was her own, she was hurting too (and she _didn't_ yell at the doctor).

"Maura lost a lot of blood –" the doctor began.

Oh god. I felt like I was gonna hurl.

"We had to perform an emergency C-section. The baby had a little trouble breathing at first and she had to be taken to the NICU."

"Is she okay?" Ma asked, her voice loaded with desperation.

"She's stable now. You can go and visit her if you'd like." The doctor gave a small, sad smile.

I was overwhelmed with relief. The baby was alive. I always knew she was a fighter, just like her mom.

Oh god, Maura.

"Did… Is… How's Maura doing? When can I see her?" I stuttered. I didn't know what questions to ask or if I wanted to know the answers.

* * *

Everything was a blur. One minute I was in the chapel and the next, I was sitting next to Maura. She was unconscious but alive. I spent the next four days at her bedside making her cups of tea. I don't know why I did it; I knew she couldn't drink them but I don't know, I guess I just hoped it would be an incentive for her to wake up. Maybe I should have been pouring glasses of wine instead.

_"Janie, you should go home, get some rest and take a shower – "_

_"I'm not leaving her, ma. Not again."_

_"And there is nothing I can say or do to get you to change your mind?"_

_"No ma. Not this time."_

_"Okay but call me if you need anything. I mean it Jane."_

_"Thanks ma."_

_"I love you baby." Ma said as she kissed my forehead._

_"I love you too, ma."_

_Once my mother had left, I reached for Maura's hand._

_"I know what you're thinking. I can hear you saying 'go home Jane, I'll be fine.' And you said I was bossy! You're in a coma and still telling me what to do, and I'm bossy!"_

_I looked at Maura, looking for any kind of movement. Nothing._

_"But seriously Maur, I'm not going anywhere. I'd rather have one bad day with you than a hundred good days with anyone else, because no one could compare to you. I need you Maura. Your daughter needs you. I hate the thought of you not being in my life and I hate the thought of you not being in her's."_

One day, I was sitting in the chair beside Maura's bed. I was holding the baby and I just felt so sad. It should have been Maura holding her. She should know who her mother is.

I cleared my throat and began to tell a story, our story.

"So when you're a girl doing buy/bust, you've gotta be a hooker. It's okay though, it was just my cover. So, I don't have any ID, I don't have any money and I'm starving. I argue with Stanley – he owns the café – about having to pay two dollars for a day old donut and bad coffee. I probably shouldn't repeat what I said to him… All you need to know is that it wasn't very nice. Anyway, your mom walks right up to the counter, waving her money. I said to her 'do you mind? You can get your non-fat latte in a minute alright?' And do you know what she said? She said 'no, it's for you.' And a bunch of other stuff about vitamin D deficiency and night work and yogurt with leafy greens. I said some things... and implied that she was rude. I was so mean to her and she was, well, just being your mom. Anyway, I told her 'not every hooker has a heart of gold, alright sister?' Do you know what your mom did next? She looked at me and said -"

"Apparently not, sister."

"Exactly, I've never seen her so sassy! Wait... Maura? Oh my god you're awake!"


	4. A New Beginning

It was almost as if Jane's voice was pulling me back to reality. It was impossible to ignore the raw emotion in her voice.

I felt dazed and nauseous, both of which were common side effects of a general anaesthetic. It took every ounce of strength just to open my eyes. Jane met my gaze, her beautiful brown eyes swelled with tears.

"Jane." It was barely audible but Jane heard me.

"Oh god, Maura. I was so afraid I was gonna lose you. God you scared me."

Jane leaned in towards me and placed a kiss on my forehead. As she pulled away, I noticed that she was holding a baby – my baby.

"Is that her?"

It was a stupid question but still I asked anyway.

"Yeah, this is your daughter."

Jane looked so happy, despite her tear-stained face. After months of eagerly awaiting her arrival, my daughter was finally here. It felt so surreal.

"Is she okay?"

"She's beautiful."

"Are you sure she's okay? Babies born before 37 weeks are far more likely to develop early respiratory problems, jaundice, low blood sugar and have difficulty maintaining a normal body temperature –"

"Maura, look at her. She's perfect."

"But Jane, research suggests that even though near-term babies may look as healthy as full-term infants, they are more likely to have certain medical problems."

"She's incredible, Maur. She was born at 35 weeks, weighing 5 pounds and 2 ounces. She had a little trouble breathing at first so the doctors took her to the NICU, just to make sure she was okay. For someone so tiny, she's incredibly strong." Jane reassured me.

"Can I hold her?"

"Of course you can hold her!"

Jane carefully placed the baby in my arms. I was overwhelmed by the sudden rush of love and adoration. Jane was right, she was so beautiful. She had sparkling blue eyes and soft tufts of blonde hair emerging from underneath her hat. I marvelled at her ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. I had seen many babies in my life but she was by far the most remarkable.

"Hi sweet girl. Do you remember me? I'm your mom and I'm going to love you forever."

I was flooded with emotion and my eyes began to fill with tears. Happy tears. I was a mom. I had this whole new life to look after. It felt just like I dreamed it would.

"Um Maur? I should get the doctor –" Jane began to rise but I stopped her.

"No. I just want it to be you and me and the baby for a minute."

Our family was finally complete and I wanted to savour every moment we shared together.

"Okay." Jane smiled and settled back into the armchair.

"She's so perfect." I repeated. It felt like I could utter those words a thousand times and it still wouldn't be enough.

"You know, she doesn't have a name yet."

I got so caught up in the moment that I almost forgot. During my pregnancy, a part of me was always afraid to get attached because it would make it even harder if things went wrong. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but imagine what she would look like and what her name would be.

"Rosalind, after Rosalind Franklin."

I looked at Jane, seeking her approval. I saw her purse her lips and furrow her brow. I knew Jane well enough to know what that meant.

"What? You don't like it, do you? I thought it was a lovely name."

I tried not to sound too deflated. I really did like the name but Jane's input also meant a lot to me.

"Oh it is a lovely name… For your grandmother!"

Typical.

"My grandmother wasn't called Rosalind." I stated matter-of-factly.

"That's not what I meant, Maur. What I was trying to say is that she's only a baby and Rosalind, well, sounds old lady-ish."

"Oh. I understand. I just wanted to give her a name that she could live up to. Rosalind Franklin was a brilliant scientist. Her work paved the way for the discovery of the structure of DNA. I wanted to give my daughter something to aspire to."

"How about Rosa? It's short for Rosalind."

"It also means rose in Latin."

"I think it suits her. She's beautiful and delicate, just like a rose."

"Rosa Jane Isles. It's perfect."

"Her middle name is Jane?"

I couldn't understand why Jane sounded so surprised.

"What else would it be? You are the most extraordinary person I have ever met and there is no one else to whom I would trust my child more."

"Really?" Jane queried as she smiled softly.

I nodded and couldn't help but smile back. She looked at me and shook her head. I realised that she too was trying to hold back tears.


	5. The Middle: Part One

I'm sorry for the slow update... I've been suffering from a serious case of writer's block. I promise that the story will progress a lot faster from now on!

Once again, flashbacks are in italics.

* * *

It's funny how quickly time goes by, moments pass and people change. One day you're planning for someday and then, before you know it, someday is today and then someday becomes yesterday. On this day, four years ago, my life was forever changed. Some changes were good, others were not. Time has a way of bringing people together, making them closer than before. While sending others on great journeys of discovery, both physical and spiritual.

"Morning mommy."

I felt a light tapping on my shoulders, willing me to wake up. I opened my eyes to see two big blue ones staring back at me. I blinked, my vision was still clouded from sleep. In a moment of clarity, I saw my daughter. This amazing, extraordinary, perfect being that is the sum total of every moment I've ever experienced. There have been moments of sheer joy and unimaginable suffering, but ultimately, I wouldn't take any of them back. Not a single one, for they gave me the greatest gift of all, her.

"Good morning baby."

I couldn't help the smile that swept across my lips. I pulled back the quilt and Rosa snuggled in close beside me. I placed a soft kiss upon her forehead and brushed away a honey blonde curl from her face. She looked at me, with a look of love and adoration that made my heart melt.

"Mommy, it's my birthday today." Rosa's eyes lit up and she looked at me expectantly.

"It is?" I teased. Of course I knew it was her birthday. How could I possibly forget the single greatest day of my life?

"U-huh!" Rosa nodded excitedly.

"And how old are you today, Miss Rosa? You must be pretty old now, huh?"

She looked at me, crinkled her eyes and pursed her lips, a strong indication of concentration. She looks just like me when she does that. She took her left hand and began to count on her fingers.

"I'm only four, silly!" She laughed and shook her head at me.

"Happy birthday, baby." I pressed the tip of my nose against hers and gave her an eskimo kiss.

"I'm not a baby anymore, mommy. I am a big girl now. I can even tie my big girl shoes _all _by myself!" She exclaimed proudly.

"Is that so? Well then, I guess you're too big for bunny pancakes –"

"Well, I'm not grown_ just_ yet… I'm just… bigger than I was last year!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. She was definitely my daughter! I began to tickle her and we erupted into fits of giggles. Once the giggles stopped, Rosa looked at me seriously.

"Mommy? I can still have bunny pancakes, can't I?" There was a sense of unmistakable concern in her voice.

"Of course you can, silly!" I beamed.

Rosa smiled and jumped off the bed.

"Come on mommy! I'm hungry!" Rosa called as she ran towards the kitchen.

I sat there for a moment and collected my thoughts. I was so lucky, yet I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.

"Coming!" I replied.

Moments later, Rosa and I were in the kitchen. I had decorated the room with banners and pink balloons after Rosa went to bed. I wanted everything to be perfect.

"_Wow_" Rosa exclaimed.

She bundled towards me, her arms outstretched. In return, I knelt down and engulfed her in a warm embrace.

"Thank you mommy! I love you." She muttered into my neck.

"I love you too, sweetie." I smoothed her silky blonde curls and turned to kiss her.

After Rosa had eaten her bunny pancakes, I started to wash the dishes. My back was turned but I could hear Rosa rise from the table.

"Mommy?" Rosa asked quietly.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

I turned around, still clutching the tea towel. Immediately I saw what Rosa was looking at. Her gaze was firmly fixed on a photograph of Jane and me.

"Will Aunt Jane be at my birthday party?" Rosa asked hopefully. It broke my heart.

"No sweetie, she won't." I explained sadly.

"Maybe next year." Rosa added dejectedly.

"But listen… Daddy and Allie will be there and so will Nanny Angela, Uncle Frankie, Uncle Tommy and T.J. It's going to be a great party." I tried to cheer Rosa up.

"I know." Rosa acknowledged but she still sounded deflated.

I placed the tea towel on the counter and moved towards her. I knelt down in front of her and took hold of her hands.

"_Maura, we need to talk." Jane's calm tone greatly contradicted her grave expression._

"_What's wrong? You can tell me anything, you know that."_

"_I've been reassigned, Maura."_

"_What? When?" _

"_Cavanaugh just told me. They want me to be an agent."_

"_Jane, that's fantastic. You've worked so hard for this, you deserve to be recognised."_

"_The job's in D.C. Maura."_

"_Oh."_

"_I want you to come with me."_

"_Jane, I can't."_

"_Maura, you're a genius. You could get a job anywhere you want!"_

"_It's not that simple, Jane. What about Rosa?"_

"_I'm sure there are some excellent schools in D.C. She'll love it there."_

"_It's not just about that. What about Jack? I can't take Rosa away from her father."_

"_What about Jack? What about Jack?! Where was Jack when you found out you were pregnant? Where was he when Rosa was born, hey? I have been right here, every step of the way. I love Rosa, I've been there for her since the day she was born… Which is more than can be said for him! What about me, Maura? I thought we were friends, I thought we were partners."_

"_We are."_

"_I… I…" Jane shook her head, she was clearly distressed. "I have to go."_

"_Jane, wait!"_

"_For what? You're you and I'm me. Nothing will ever change that."_

"_What's that supposed to mean? Jane! "_

_With that, she was gone. Like a shadow in the night. She just got into her car and left. Just like that._

"Aunt Jane loves you very much and she'd give anything to be here with you on your birthday."

I could feel a stinging sensation in my eyes and desperately tried to fight back the tears. I gave Rosa a watery smile and she just nodded.

"Now, I know we usually wait for everyone to get here before you open your presents but I think you deserve to open one now… You are the birthday girl after all." I proposed. It was a rather lame attempt to lighten the mood, but I couldn't think of anything else.

"It's okay, mommy. I can wait."

I couldn't bear to see my little girl so upset, knowing that I couldn't give her what she wanted. Fortunately, Jack burst through the door.

"Where's the birthday girl?!"

"Daddy!" Her beautiful eyes lit up once more.

He scooped Rosa up in his arms and peppered her with kisses.

"Happy birthday, princess."

He gently placed her back on the ground. Despite the difficult start, Jack was a wonderful father. He was just confused and scared. He just wanted to do right by Rosa. We both wanted that.

"Wow! You're getting so big… You must be eating all of your vegetables!"

"Mommy said that I'm going to be tall because it's in my jeans… but that doesn't really make sense because sometimes I wear dresses or skirts."

"I think your mommy means the other kind of genes." Allie chimed in.

"Allie!" Rosa threw her arms around her big sister.

As Allie began to explain the difference between jeans and genes to Rosa, Jack took me to one side.

"I can't believe how big she's gotten!" Jack enthused.

"I know, it's scary how quickly time flies by." I concurred.

"She's incredible, Maura. You're a wonderful mother." He placed his strong hands around my arms.

It meant a lot to hear him say that. For years I have questioned whether or not I made the right decision by staying. I miss Jane terribly. It feels like I'm missing a part of me. In spite of this, I believe I made the right choice for Rosa. Her whole family is here. Well, most of it anyway.

Speaking of family, Angela, Frankie, Tommy and T.J. followed suit. Their love and laughter filled the house. Rosa was in her element.

Angela cast her gaze towards me and I seized the opportunity to talk to her. She followed me, despite the fact that I hadn't had the chance to ask her to yet. We'd had the same routine every year since Rosa's second birthday. Every year I would ask

"Have you heard from Jane?"

And every year Angela would explain that Jane was 'tied up at work', or something like that.

_I was heartbroken. I had just lost my best friend in the whole world. I kept trying to call her, but each time she rejected me. Every time, I told myself that she'd pick up, that this time it would be different. It wasn't. _

_I decided to make one last call. I was grateful that this one did not go unanswered._

"_Hello, it's Maura."_

"_Maura. It's so good to hear from you. I've missed you."_

"_It's good to hear from you too, Angela. I wasn't sure if Jane would want you to talk to me and so I kept my distance. I didn't want to force you to choose between us. It's just so hard. I didn't just lose my best friend, I lost my family too and I don't know what to do without you. I miss you all and I'm worried about Jane. We had a fight and she just left. It's been over two weeks. We've never gone this long without speaking to each other and I just don't know what to do –"_

_I completely broke down. I was too tired to fight anymore. I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't strong enough without Jane._

"_Maura, can I come over?"_

"_That would be wonderful. Thank you, Angela."_

"_It's no trouble at all. See you soon."_

"_Goodbye Angela."_

_After Jane left, Angela moved into her condo. She told me it was because she wanted somewhere of her own to call home, but I thought it was because Jane had asked her to stay away from me. The last time Jane and I had a fight, poor Angela got caught in the middle and I didn't want that to happen again._

_Angela arrived no more than ten minutes later. As soon as I opened the door, she hugged me. She hugged me so tightly that I could barely breathe, but within her embrace, I felt safe. We both cried. I cried so much that my head ached, almost as much as my heart. Angela released me and we retired to the couch. I was in such a state that all hospitality went out the window; I don't think I even offered Angela a drink. _

"_Maura, I just want you to know that you're like a daughter to me. No matter what happens between you and Jane, that's not going to change. I need you to know that." _

_She took my hand and gently squeezed it, emphasising that she wasn't going anywhere. That I hadn't lost her._

"_You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that. Rosa and I have really missed you."_

_I blinked back fresh tears. There was so much I wanted to say, I just couldn't find the words. Angela offered me a sad smile and squeezed my hand once more._

"_Angela? I know Jane doesn't want to talk to me right now but please can you pass on a message to her?"_

"_Of course I can."_

"_Please just tell her that I'm sorry and I miss her. I understand that she's angry and hurt and needs time but I need her to come back to me. If she cares about me, or Rosa at all, tell her to come to Rosa's first birthday party. I want my daughter to know her brave and strong and badass Aunt Jane."_

Jane never came.

I can't imagine how hard it must be for Angela, to only hear from her daughter every once in a while. She has only been to visit Jane a handful of times since she moved away. Jane was always too busy working. I guess it was just too painful for her. It probably reminded her of the life she left behind.

"She's stuck at work. You know Jane –"

"Actually, I'm not sure I do. The Jane I knew would have come home already."

"I have faith that she'll come home, Maura. She just got lost somewhere along the way."

"I don't mean to be rude, Angela, but it's been three years, one month and two days. She's not coming back." Just saying those words cut through me like a scalpel.

Suddenly I felt a gentle tug on my skirt.

"Mommy!"

"Hi sweetie! Are you having a good birthday?"

"Yes, but it would be even better if I could open my presents and eat cake!"

Damn it. I was so caught up in the Jane drama that I completely forgot about the little girl who was waiting for me in the other room.

Everyone sat at the table, whilst I turned out the lights and brought Rosa her birthday cake. The group provided an interesting rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.

"Don't forget to make a wish"

She thought for a moment and then began to blow out the candles.

"What did you wish for?" I asked.

Before Rosa had a chance to argue, there was a knock at the door.

"It came true! My wish came true!" Rosa jumped down from her seat and ran to the door.

I ran after her. As soon as she opened the door, we were greeted by a tall, raven-haired stranger.

"Aunt Jane! You came!"

Angela rose from her seat, it appeared that my confusion was mirrored on her features. Jane was back. After all this time, Jane was finally home.

I was so unsure of how to feel. I was thrilled and furious, all at the same time.

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I know Jane's behaviour may seem a little out of character but please trust me, it will all make sense soon!


	6. The Middle: Part Two

**A.N. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this story and to offer your continuous support. It is so lovely to hear from you and I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far (if you don't like it, well, then I'm sorry for wasting your time!). Hopefully, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for! **

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"Aunt Jane! You came!"

I'm not sure what I was expecting. Three years is a long time, of course Rosa wouldn't be a baby anymore. I looked down at this perfect little girl, she had grown up so much and I'd missed all of it. She looked just like Maura, beautiful, elegant and so perfect. The only difference was that instead of being met by a pair of hazel eyes, I found myself staring into a pair of bright blue ones. Her eyes were so full of joy and admiration and free of pain. I wish I could say the same for Maura. I could see both pain and confusion in her eyes but I expected her to look, well, angrier.

"I just knew you'd come back… All I had to do was wish really really hard!"

Rosa wrapped her little arms around my legs. I realised that I was still standing awkwardly in the doorway and so I gently patted Rosa on the head. She dropped her arms and took a step back. The sudden loss of contact caused my heart to sink a little. I dumped my backpack on the floor, knelt down and opened my arms. Thankfully Rosa jumped into my embrace. I wrapped my arms around her and, for the first time in god knows how long, I allowed myself to feel all warm and fuzzy.

"Of course I came back, bud."

As she nuzzled into my neck, I glanced back at Maura. She just stood there, with this unreadable expression. I saw her turn to ma and ma gave her a nod in return.

"Rosa, why don't you go and help Nanny Angela organise your toys?"

I know Maura was only trying to distract her, but come on! Organising toys and stuff? No kid is gonna want to do that!

"Okay mommy!" Rosa answered excitedly.

Rosa marched towards ma and began shouting orders. She really is Maura's kid. Once she was out of earshot, Maura gently placed her hand on my upper arm. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I felt sparks between us. For three years I had longed for her touch, yes it was just her hand on my arm, but I could have sworn I felt her thumb lightly caress my skin.

"Jane, we need to talk." Maura explained calmly.

Immediately I flashed back to the last time I saw her.

"_Maura, we need to talk." _

_Just play it cool. This may be the biggest moment in my entire career but none of it matters without Maura. She's my partner and besides, I'd really hate to have to break in a new M.E._

"_What's wrong? You can tell me anything, you know that."_

_There's so much I want to tell you, Maur… I'm just scared of how you'll take it._

"_I've been reassigned, Maura."_

"_What? When?" _

"_Cavanaugh just told me. They want me to be an agent."_

"_Jane, that's fantastic. You've worked so hard for this, you deserve to be recognised."_

"_The job's in D.C. Maura."_

"_Oh."_

"_I want you to come with me."_

_I need you to come with me. _

"_Jane, I can't."_

"_Maura, you're a genius. You could get a job anywhere you want!"_

"_It's not that simple, Jane. What about Rosa?"_

"_I'm sure there are some excellent schools in D.C. She'll love it there."_

"_It's not just about that. What about Jack? I can't take Rosa away from her father."_

_Jack. Just hearing his name felt like a knife searing through my heart. After everything he put her through, how could Maura still put him first? I could feel the anger brewing inside me. It felt like I was going to explode. _

"_What about Jack? What about Jack?! Where was Jack when you found out you were pregnant? Where was he when Rosa was born, hey? I have been right here, every step of the way. I love Rosa, I've been there for her since the day she was born… Which is more than can be said for him! What about me, Maura? I thought we were friends, I thought we were partners."_

"_We are."_

_Now's your chance. Just say something. Anything._

"_I… I…" I love you, I need you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. "I have to go."_

_I turned to walk away. It felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces. It took every ounce of strength I had to not collapse right in front of her and just cry._

"_Jane, wait!"_

_I turned around to face Maura once again. She was devastatingly beautiful. Every single time I looked at her, I knew she was it for me. It was obvious, I was in love with Maura Isles. I looked into her beautiful hazel eyes which were overflowing with tears. I could see that she was hurting too. I caused that pain. _

_She's better off without me. She doesn't love me; she's in love with Jack. She deserves to be happy. Who am I to stand in the way of that?_

"_For what? You're you and I'm me. Nothing will ever change that."_

_That was the point of no return. There was no going back now. _

_I walked away and didn't look back._

"_What's that supposed to mean? Jane! "_

"Jane?"

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you were coming with me… So are you?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming."

I followed Maura into her bedroom.

"There's so much I want to say to you, Maur –"

"No, you don't get to talk… Not now. You left _me, _Jane. You went away for three years. You need to listen to what I have to say."

There was the anger. I could see unshed tears in Maura's eyes, she was far too strong or too stubborn to let them fall. I could hear the raw emotion in her voice and it made my heart break all over again.

"I'm sorry I couldn't just drop everything and follow you to D.C. I'm sorry that I hurt you; that was never my intention. I was just doing what I thought was best for Rosa. I can understand why you were angry, but what I can't understand is how you could just cut me out of your life completely… How you could forget about me and Rosa. I reached out to you Jane, I kept reaching out. I knew what we had was special. I tried to keep fighting but you didn't want to fight for us anymore. I invited you to Rosa's first birthday and you couldn't even be bothered to come! Why didn't you come Jane? Why?"

As Maura began to cry, I couldn't hold back anymore. I had to come clean.

"I was there, Maur."

Maura locked eyes with me as I recalled the story.

_When ma told me what Maura had said to her, I just knew I had to come home. Maura had put her heart on the line, I couldn't just ignore that. I tried to find the perfect present… What do you buy a one year old? I booked time off work and crossed off the days until the party. As I drove back to Boston, I thought about everything I was going to say. I pulled into Maura's drive and saw a pink foil balloon tied to the door. I reached across to the passenger seat and picked up Rosa's present… I'd spent hours making sure that the pink bunny wrapping paper aligned perfectly and to top it all off, I tied a pink bow around it. I knew that Rosa wouldn't care, but Maura would. I jumped out of the car and tried to resist the urge to run into the house and hug everyone; instead I cautiously approached the window. I peered through the window and saw that everyone looked happy and then I saw Jack kiss Maura on the cheek. I realised then that I didn't belong there anymore and so I left._

"I was there Maur. I was so proud of you –" I smiled and Mara's face softened slightly. She looked at me and listened intently.

"but we hadn't talked in a long time and I saw you with Jack and I figured you guys were back together, which clearly you are and I'm happy for you. I am." I continued.

"Jack and I, we aren't together." Maura stated.

You aren't?" I tried to contain my relief.

"No. It was important to both of us that he plays an active role in Rosa's life, he will always be her father, but that's all. There is nothing going on between us… but why does it matter if we're together or not?"

It's now or never. I have to tell her how I feel. I know one thing and that's if you don't ask for something, you can't just expect for it to happen.

"Before I met you I thought my world had everything I needed to be happy; coffee, bacon chocolate and lots of beer. Then you walked into my life and everything changed. I love you Maur, I'm in love with you. I hated seeing you with Jack because I wanted you to choose me. I left because I couldn't look at you without my heart breaking. It was only while I was away that I realised it would always be broken without you."

Maura looked confused and her eyes were filled with tears. It felt like I was looking in a mirror.

"Why didn't you say anything?" She asked desperately.

It was a valid question, but I guess I just assumed it was obvious.

"I said it with my eyes, when I made you cups of tea, when I told you silly jokes, when I held you close when you were upset and when I'd make excuses just to see you again. I showed you that, every day. How could you not have noticed, Maura?"

"Sometimes you need to hear it Jane. I needed to hear it."

Well, you know what they say… When you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME.

"I was scared Maura. I thought you knew and just didn't feel the same way. I thought that if I said something, it would make things awkward between us and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

"You left because you didn't want to lose me? Who does that work out for, Jane?" Maura moved closer to me so that when she looked up, she was only an inch or so away from my face.

"I don't know, okay? I thought you were better off without me."

I tried to fight back the tears. Crying doesn't solve anything.

"You're my best friend, Jane. Of course I wouldn't be better off without you." Maura explained lovingly.

It wasn't enough.

"That's just it, Maur. I'm your best friend, nothing more. I thought that I could live with the platonic relationship we had forged, that being with you like that was better than not being with you at all, but I just couldn't do it anymore. It hurt too much."

"Then why did you come back?"

"I came back for you. And no matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you."

That was it, I had nothing left to say. I'd played my hand but I didn't fold. I'm not out and I'm not giving up. I watched Maura but she didn't move, we just stood there silently for a moment.

"We should probably get back to the party… I'm sure Rosa wants to spend time with her mom, so I won't keep you any longer."

I turned to walk towards the door, leaving Maura standing by her bed.

"Jane?" She called after me.

I turned to face her once again. I didn't say anything, I just waited for her to speak.

"I would have said yes." Maura added matter-of-factly.

I stared into those beautiful hazel orbs, desperately trying to work out what she meant.

"What?" I looked at her, hanging on her every word.

"If you told me you wanted more, I would have said yes."


	7. The Middle: Part Three

**A.N. Yet again, I would like to apologise for the slow update. I have great plans for this story, but at this moment, they are just that... Plans and ideas! Thank you for all of your time and support, it means a lot. I would also like to give a special shout-out to MADDY22, for reminding me that I should be writing! Thanks :)**

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"If you told me you wanted more, I would have said yes."

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I had waited for this moment for such a long time. I thought about all of the times I wanted to tell Jane how I felt.

"_Stay away from Giovanni."_

"_No. Oh, this is a dibs thing!"_

"_A dibs thing? Really?! Tell me what you have in common with him, alright? He's a blue-collar Boston Italian auto mechanic!"_

"_Well so are you! Well, except for being an auto mechanic, and we're best friends."_

"_Yes, but I'm interesting and you don't wanna sleep with me."_

_As I hesitated, I saw the look of confusion, perhaps even disgust that crossed Jane's face. There was no way I could tell her the truth, not now. _

"_Do you?"_

"_No!" _

_I didn't have enough time to produce or even contemplate producing an appropriate response and so I resorted to telling a quick-fire lie. I knew that I was about to break into hives and I couldn't hide that from Jane. I had to think fast._

"_No" I repeated. "But that's my point; that's all I want to do with Giovanni."_

_It was true, I did want to sleep with Giovanni… He had an excellent shoulder to hip ratio, lengthy metacarpals and I was lonely. It was nice to be wanted by someone. Although I did want to sleep with Jane, it wasn't technically a lie… It wasn't just about sex, I wanted to have it all with her. _

"So, where do we go from here?" Jane asked, presenting a hint of desperation in her tone.

"We go back to the party." I replied coldly.

I began to walk away, brushing past Jane as I approached the door.

"Maura wait…" Jane caught my arm. "I meant with us –"

"I knew what you meant, Jane."

"That's it? We're just going to go back and pretend like this never happened? Shouldn't we talk about everything?"

I couldn't deal with this right now. My emotions were all over the place, raging like a tempest.

"Can we talk about everything later? I need to get back to Rosa."

"Sure, we'll talk later. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push… It's just, I've waited for this moment for so long –"

"Yes, so have I! I've thought about this moment for years. I've imagined it over and over again, but of all the scenarios that I envisaged, you leaving and coming back like this... I-I just need a little time, that's... that's all."

I looked into Jane's deep brown eyes. Just like mine, Jane's eyes were brimming with tears. She looked down at my arm and released it from her grasp.

"I'm sorry, Maur." Jane muttered.

I took a moment to compose myself and then returned to the kitchen.

As I entered the room, Angela stopped what she was doing and went to stand behind the kitchen island. I carried on moving towards her until we were side by side. She looked at me, her eyes searching for answers. I could just hear her asking 'so, how did it go?' I rubbed her arm and she placed her hand over mine. It was a small gesture that non-verbally communicated so much. It told her that I was okay and it reassured me that Angela wasn't going anywhere, that she was always there if I ever wanted to talk. I caught sight of Jane lingering awkwardly in the doorway, I looked at Angela and we exchanged knowing glances. I thought it best to give them some space and so I went to find Rosa.

"Mommy! What took you so long?"

"Aunt Jane and I just had some catching up to do." I explained as I knelt down beside her.

Rosa embraced me in a bear hug and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"What was that for?" I asked as I kissed her forehead.

"Because I love you!" Rosa stated matter-of-factly.

She had this incredible way of knowing exactly how I was feeling and how to make me feel better. Just like Jane.

"I love you too, baby." I replied.

I hugged Rosa a little tighter and as I glanced over her shoulder, I saw Jack, Frankie and Tommy emerge from the yard, all covered in make-up. I stifled a laugh.

"Rosa, what did you do to your daddy, Uncle Frankie and Uncle Tommy?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"I made them into princesses! Don't they look pretty?!" Rosa sounded very impressed with herself!

I looked at the three men, it reminded me of a very unusual line-up! First there was Tommy, he was grinning from ear to ear. Then there was Frankie, who just shrugged his shoulders and chuckled. Finally, there was Jack. He was wearing a pink feather bower and a plastic tiara.

"Not as pretty as you, princess!" Jack told Rosa and she giggled.

Rosa tapped me on the shoulder and looked at me inquisitively.

"What is it, sweetie?" I asked.

Rosa glanced around the room, craning her neck to get a better view.

"Can I open my presents now? Please, mommy?" Rosa begged.

"Of course you can!" I exclaimed.

"But everyone's busy."

That's why she was looking around the room. At first I thought she was looking for her presents but instead she was observing the conversations going on around her.

"Well, I'm sure they won't mind taking a short break from whatever they're doing. Frankie, can you get your mom and Jane please?" I asked.

"Sure, Maura. I'll be right back." Frankie said as he went to search for Jane and Angela.

"I'll go get Allie. No doubt she'll be skyping her B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D!" Jack spelt out.

"Daddy, I hate it when you spell!"

"Don't say hate." I explained gently.

"Sorry, I just think it's S-I-L-L-Y. And daddy… I know you spelt boyfriend." Rosa stated matter-of-factly.

I looked at Jack and laughed. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't you be getting any ideas! You won't be allowed to date until you're at least thirty, maybe even forty!" Jack joked. "How did you get so smart?"

"She has my genes too, you know!" I quipped.

Jack looked like he was about to protest but then he nodded.

"I can't argue with that!" He laughed.

A short while later, everyone gathered in the lounge. Rosa was sitting on the couch in between me and Angela, Allie balanced on the armrest, the boys all huddled together and Jane stood behind me.

Rosa quickly unwrapped the first present and lifted it up for everyone to see.

"Thanks Uncle Frankie." Rosa said apathetically.

"How did you know it was from me?" Frankie asked.

Rosa looked at the present and then back at Frankie.

"It's a doll." Rosa exclaimed and the room burst into laughter.

"Ha ha and it's not a doll, it's an action figure!" Frankie explained.

Rosa swiftly moved on to the next present and the one after that and the one after that until there was only one present left to unwrap. It was wrapped perfectly in pink bunny paper and tied up neatly with a pink ribbon. Someone clearly put a lot of thought into this gift.

Rosa tore the paper and gently lifted up a junior-sized Red Sox jersey.

"Look mommy! It says Rizzoli, number 1!" Rosa was so excited her whole face lit up.

I looked up at Jane and she just smiled softly.

"Aunt Jane, is this from you?" Rosa asked.

"Yeah buddy, it is… Unless you don't like it… Then I have no idea where it came from!"

Rosa pulled the jersey over her head.

"It's perfect! Thanks Aunt Jane!" Rosa exclaimed.

Rosa jumped up and ran over to Jane.

"You're welcome, bud. I'm glad you like it." Jane said as she scooped Rosa up.

I watched in awe as the two most important people in my life interacted with each other. It was clear that Rosa adored Jane and that Jane loved Rosa too, but it could never make up for those three years Jane spent away from us.

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**Okay, this chapter was pretty much just a filler, helping me get from A to B! I already have an ending for this story (and a couple of scenes here and there) but I thought it would be cool to give you guys the opportunity to have your say. If there is something you want to happen, please don't hesitate to PM me or write a review (I read all of them!). Oh and expect an update pretty soon!**


	8. The Middle: Part Four

I opened my eyes. My head hurt, my back ached and the room was spinning. I tried to sit up and as I did, I realised where I was. I must have fallen asleep on the couch in my old condo. That's right, I was staying with ma. God, I hadn't missed this crappy little apartment. What the hell happened last night? I hadn't had a hangover this bad since high school. I tried to piece together what had happened in between Rosa's party and this morning. Is it even morning?

I remember I was talking to ma when Frankie came looking for us.

"_Hey ma, Jane." Frankie said my name with an intense bitterness. _

_It doesn't take a detective to know he wasn't happy to see me again. What does he have to be angry about?_

"_Hey Frankie. It's good to see you again. I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to catch up properly yet but –"_

"_Save it, Jane. Anyway, Rosa's champing at the bit to open her present but she can't start without us. We should get back to her." Frankie explained before he left._

"_What was that all about?" I asked ma._

_She shot me a look that said something along the lines of 'really, you don't know?' and so I dropped the conversation and followed her into the lounge._

Then we watched Rosa open her presents. I decided to give her my very first Red Sox jersey, the same present I intended to give to her on her first birthday. Ok, then I talked to Maura about it.

"_So, she's a Rizzoli then?" Maura asked as she approached me._

"_It was my first jersey. I would wear it every day, I'd even sleep in it."_

"_I can see that!" Maura joked as she looked at the tatty old jersey._

"_Anyway, my dad would take me to watch all the games. He'd sit me on his shoulders and I felt like I was the most important person in the world. That jersey is also a promise to Rosa. I promise I will take her to watch the games, to teach her how to play sports, to teach her to fight-"_

_She gave me a disapproving look._

"_For what she believes in, thank you very much! And to remind her that she can do anything she puts her mind to. Practice makes perfect… You know, that kind of thing." _

_I paused and took a deep breath. _

"_I want to be there for her, Maur. I want to be there for you, if you'll let me."_

_Maura looked me in the eyes. I hoped that she would see that I really meant it this time, that I would never leave her again. Never._

"_Okay." Maura said._

"_Okay?" I asked._

_Once again I was a little confused. Boy was I out of whack. _

"_I have to go to a conference tomorrow, I was going to ask Angela to look after Rosa for me –"_

"_I can take her! I mean, I'd love to spend some time with her and it's not like I've gotta go to work or anything." I volunteered, practically jumping for joy._

"_Okay then. I'm sure she'll love that. Where are you staying tonight?" Maura asked._

_I couldn't tell if she was asking me to stay with her, or if she was insinuating that I wasn't welcome. _

"_I think I'll stay at Ma's tonight. It'll be nice to see what she's done to my old place!" _

_I was pretty sure my answer was a winner; Maura couldn't fault a daughter for wanting to spend some quality time with her mother and I wouldn't be outstaying my welcome. _

"_That sounds lovely. Thank you for doing this Jane." Maura added._

"_Thanks for letting me. What time did you need me to come and pick her up?"_

Oh crap, I was supposed to pick up Rosa! What time was it? Maura's conference started at 9am and so I was supposed to pick up Rosa at 8:15am! I was so flustered, rushing around the apartment, trying to find my shoes and car keys.

"Dammit!" I called out.

I tried to put my boots on as I walked towards the kitchen area. I quickly glanced over at the counter.

"Rosa, have you seen my keys?" I asked.

Rosa? What was she doing here? How did she get here?

"Rosa? What did… How did… What?!" I tried and failed to get my words out.

"Mommy brought me over. She said not to wake you." Rosa explained.

"Oh." Was all I could say as I tried to sit down next to Rosa.

"Are you sick? You don't look so good." Rosa asked as she looked me up and down.

"I've been better, but I think this is all my fault." I informed her, hoping she wouldn't ask any more questions.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

I looked into her beady blue eyes and had no idea what to say. How do you tell a four year old that you think you got really really drunk to try to forget how much you love her mom, but you can't know that for sure because you don't remember anything!

"I think I had too much to drink last night." That ought to do it, I thought.

"One time, daddy gave me a big glass of chocolate milkshake. It made me feel really sick. Is that what happened to you?" Concern laced her voice.

"Um, sort of… So, what do you want to do today?" I asked her, desperately trying to change the subject.

"T.J. has a baseball match today. Uncle Tommy, Aunt Lydia and Uncle Frankie are all going to watch him. Can we go too? Oh and can we get ice-cream as well? Mommy usually says no… I mean, she lets me have two scoops! Please Aunt Jane?" Rosa pleaded.

"Okay bud… but perhaps we shouldn't tell your mom about the ice-cream. What mommy doesn't know won't hurt her." I chuckled.

"Deal." Rosa agreed.

When we arrived at T.J.'s little league game, I placed Rosa on my shoulders.

"Wow! I'm on top of the world! I can see everything from up here!" She exclaimed.

"How about Uncle Tommy and Uncle Frankie, can you see them?" I called up to her.

"Yes! They're right over there!" She pointed.

I gently put Rosa down and then held her hand as we strolled over to the bleachers. Rosa sat down next to Frankie and I scooted along beside her.

"Cool sunglasses! Can I have a pair?" Rosa told Frankie.

"You don't wanna look dorky like your Uncle Frankie now, do you?" Tommy mocked.

"No. I want to be just like Jane." Rosa explained.

My heart swelled with pride. This amazing, beautiful, innocent kid wanted to be just like me. Thank god she didn't know how badly I hurt Maura.

"And where are your shades, Jane? A little bird told me you had quite a lot to drink last night! Right, Frankie?" Tommy laughed.

That's right. I met Frankie at The Dirty Robber last night!

"_I never thought I'd see the day Jane Rizzoli started drinking wine." Frankie said as he sat down next to me at the bar._

"_People change, Frankie. Besides, I've only had one glass!" I informed him._

_Frankie raised his eyebrow at me._

"_Okay, maybe I've had a few… Bottles." I replied jokingly._

"_Why are you doing this, Jane?" Frankie asked._

"_Because it makes me feel better, okay ma?" I retorted._

"_Whatever, Jane." Frankie said as he got up to leave._

"_Frankie, wait!" I grabbed his arm. "I don't understand why you're so pissed off with me."_

_He sat back down. _

"_Really? You come back to town after years of being away and try to pretend like nothing happened… Jane, it's not me. I'm not that clingy, but you didn't even call Maura and anyway, I just don't like what you did. You're just like dad." _

"_Hey. That's not fair. I didn't sleep with any bimbos while I was in D.C." I snorted. Admittedly, it probably wouldn't have been as funny if I was sober._

_Frankie shook his head and went to leave again._

"_Come on, Frankie. Have a beer with me! Can we get two more beers, please?" I asked the barman. _

_Even he'd changed since I was last here._

_In the end, we drank far more than we should have done. I suppose you could say we were very merry._

"_Frankie, listen to me. I left Maura because I love her." I said seriously._

_He just laughed and then, once he realised I was serious, he sobered up a little._

"_But that doesn't make any sense!" He yelled._

"_I know. But at the time, it felt like the best thing to do. The only thing to do." I tried to explain._

_Frankie put his head on the bar. I'm not sure if it was out of frustration or just simply drinking too much._

"_I want to win her back, Frankie. There must be something I can do." I stated._

"_You came back, Jane. Now you can make it right." He mumbled._

"_Thanks, Frankie." I said._

_I nudged his shoulder affectionately and he groaned. _

"_Let's go home."_

"Did you drink too many milkshakes as well, Uncle Frankie?" Rosa asked.

Frankie looked at me, very confused, and I nodded. Thankfully, Frankie offered Rosa a slightly robotic nod in return.

It was actually a really lovely day. It was nice to catch up with my brothers and Lydia; Lydia and Tommy are finally going to get married… In less than a week! Apparently my invitation 'got lost in the mail' but they will bring a replacement over sometime tomorrow. I'm really happy for them. They complete each other and it will be great for T.J. Speaking of T.J., he's incredible! He could be the next Grover Verben or maybe even Ted Williams!

As we stood outside Maura's front door, I made sure to wipe off every trace of ice-cream from Rosa's face. It was like she was wearing chocolate lipstick, only all over her face! Maura would kill me if I returned her like that!

"Ok, I think you'll do!" I said as I looked Rosa up and down.

She smiled and knocked on the door. Maura answered almost instantly.

"Mommy! We won!" Rosa cheered as she leapt into Maura's arms.

"What did you win, sweetie?" Maura asked lovingly.

"The Eagles won!" Rosa chanted.

Maura still looked confused.

"Baseball, Maura. T.J. plays for the Eagles. Little league of course. We went to watch the game today." I tried to explain.

"Wow! He won! That's fantastic… Go T.J.!" Maura cheered.

"Oh Maur, he was amazing! He has a perfect swing!" I gushed and went into full-on proud aunt mode.

I thought back to when Maura and I played baseball. Even when she was trying to hook up with some douchebag, she still tried to help me out.

"_Wind at ten knots." Maura shouted._

"_Thank you, Maura" I replied._

_I didn't mean to be rude, I was just trying so hard to concentrate and I really wanted to hit the ball. _

_I could hear her cheering me on the whole time, even though I got caught out._

"_Good hit, Jane!" She clapped._

"_Maura!" I yelled._

_She looked so adorably happy when she thought I was calling her up to the plate._

_I pretended that I wasn't amused, but secretly, I just wanted to stand behind her, hold her and teach her how to perfect her swing. I couldn't do that, the whole precinct was there and it was a cliché, just like the pottery scene in Ghost, when Patrick Swayze holds Demi Moore._

_I was so proud and slightly surprised when she got a hit… Although, I shouldn't have expected anything less, Maura is excellent at just about everything!_

"Jane?" Maura asked.

"Sorry, Maur. I was just daydreaming. What were you saying?" I apologised.

"Rosa wanted you to tell her a bedtime story." Maura explained softly but there was a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Sure, I'd love to. What kind of story? A Fairy tale? A funny story from when I was little?" I asked. In truth, I was a little rusty on my fairy tales but I'd give it a shot.

"I'm sure she won't mind, she just wants to be with you. You have a very soothing voice." Maura explained.

"Okay… I'll let her choose. Thanks Maura." I smiled.

Rosa asked me to read The Princess Bride. It was one of my favourite films growing up; it had a princess, a giant, magic, pirates and sword fighting! What more could you want? I had seen the film so many times, but I had never read the book before. Rosa was so worn out that she barely made it through the first chapter!

"Sleep well, Princess Rosa." I whispered as I tucked her in. "I had a lovely day with you today."

I kissed her forehead and turned off the light on my way out. As I turned around, I bumped into Maura.

"God, Maura! You scared me!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry, I hope you didn't think I was a Rodent of Unusual Size!" Maura Joked.

God, it was so good to hear her laugh.

"I could never mistake you for a giant rat, Maura." I replied.

"Thank you, Jane."

"Always."

We stood in the doorway for a little while longer but neither one of us dared to say anything.

"I should get going. It's late and I don't want ma to worry." I said, still reluctant to move.

"It's seven-thirty." Maura stated.

Wow, was it really that early? I checked my watch. Yep, seven-thirty. Having a kid is exhausting!

"Jane, do you want to stay for a drink?" Maura asked.

"I'd love to stay for a while but I think I'll pass on the drink. I don't want a repeat of last night." I explained.

"How about a coffee? I can use a Sulawesi, if you'd like." Maura offered politely.

"Sure, I'd love a cup of coffee." I replied.

"Follow me."

"As you wish."


	9. The Middle: Part Five

"Thank you for taking such good care of Rosa today and thank you for staying. It means a lot to me. I know the last few days, well, years really, have been hard for you. They've been hard for me too. I'm so thrilled that you're back and I'm sorry that I didn't really show it. I was just in shock; it was a huge surprise. After all this time, I really believed that you weren't coming back." My voice cracked with emotion.

It was hard admitting that. I should have had faith in Jane. I should have believed that she would find her way back to me when she was ready. I wiped away a few stray tears and tried to continue both making the coffee and talking.

"I missed you so much, Jane. It felt like a huge part of me was missing, for three years I felt utterly lost and incomplete. Do you know what the worst part was? I waited for three years and you never returned any of my calls. It never seemed like you missed me and that… Hurt, it really hurt."

I began to sob. I couldn't contain it anymore, I had to let it all out. As I poured the coffee, I realised that Jane hadn't said anything. I was pouring my heart out to her and she didn't say a word. I turned to face her and instantly I understood why she was so quiet. I shook my head in disbelief and couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, this was a good talk. I should have figured you were asleep… If you were awake, you would have interrupted me!" I joked.

I gravitated towards her. She is so beautiful when she sleeps. She's beautiful all the time but especially when she's asleep. She is so delicate and fragile and vulnerable. She is absolutely breath-taking. I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over her. Immediately she clenched her fists and began to curl in on herself. It was evident that she was very distressed and probably experiencing a terrible nightmare. I didn't know what to do or how to help her, all I knew was that I couldn't leave her. Not like this. Not ever. I carefully lay down beside her and twisted to fit the mould that she was in. The couch wasn't exceptionally wide but there was enough room for both of us. This was the closest I had felt to Jane in a long time, not just physically but also emotionally. I gently brushed her long, unruly, raven hair away from her face and whispered in dulcet tones, desperately trying to soothe her.

"Ssh… It's okay, Jane. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

She instinctively nestled into me and so I wrapped my arms around her, hoping she'd feel safe in my embrace. Before long, my eyes slipped closed and sleep washed over me.

I opened my eyes and found myself staring into Jane's. Shakespeare claimed 'the Eyes are the window to your soul' and although I remain sceptical about the existence of a human soul from a scientific standpoint, it felt like Jane was finally letting me in completely.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked.

"Not long." Jane said huskily.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I thought I should let you sleep and I guess I like watching you – in a totally non-creepy way!" Jane quickly added. "It's just, you looked so peaceful and I didn't expect to wake up next to you."

"It looked like you were having a nightmare. I didn't want to leave you." I explained.

"Oh." Jane stated.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I queried.

"No thanks, Maur. It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters, Jane. You can tell me anything, you know that." I explained lovingly.

Jane looked like she wanted to say something but she stopped herself. After a moment of hesitation, she began to talk.

"I was being childish when I walked away from you. I gave you an ultimatum the night that I left and that wasn't fair. I fought back for all the wrong reasons. I was being stubborn…" Jane began to cry softly. "and I can't take that back, I wish that I could. Did I want to go? Sure I did. I loved being an agent. But I want you to know something, Maura. There was never a day where I loved it more than you."

Jane's speech moved me to tears. There was so much I wanted to say but it suddenly seemed like no words had ever been written.

"When I look back at my time in D.C. I'm not proud of it because I know you weren't proud of me."

"Is that what you think? That I wasn't proud of you?" I asked desperately.

"How could you be? I let you down, I let Rosa down, I let my family down and I let myself down. How could anyone be proud of that, Maur?"

I hated seeing Jane like that. I had to do something.

"I have to show you something." I informed her.

Jane followed me into my bedroom.

"Maura, what are you doing?"

I entered my closet and lifted a shoebox from the shelf.

"Really, you want to try on shoes now?!" Jane asked sarcastically.

I handed Jane the box and she began to inspect it.

"Open it." I instructed her.

Jane cautiously lifted the lid and unfolded the tissue paper. She looked inside the box and suddenly registered what was inside. She slumped down onto my bed and I perched next to her.

"These are newspaper clippings… The Washington Post, The Washington Times and pretty much every other newspaper in D.C."

She looked up at me, her eyes full of emotion. I refused to break eye contact.

"I know. I assumed at least some of these were your cases. I was hurt, Jane. But I was so proud of you. I am so proud of you." I clarified.

I watched as a single tear escaped from the corner of her eye and so I wiped it away with my thumb. Jane placed her hand over mine and I offered her a soft smile. I could feel the sparks, the chemistry and I couldn't resist the urge to kiss Jane any longer. I moved forward and kissed her. It was soft and sweet and tender. I lifted my other hand to cup Jane's face. Jane pulled away and rested her forehead against mine and my heart ached.

"I love you Jane." I whispered.

Before I could say anything else, Jane pressed her lips against mine and I responded. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer and she sighed. I had kissed many men before but this – this was completely different. This was new because before it was just passion, before it was just some guy I had chemistry with, but Jane is so much more than that. She is my best friend, my partner and in spite of everything that's happened, she's someone I can count on, someone I trust. Jane Rizzoli is the love of my life.


	10. The Middle: Part Six

**A.N.** Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I received quite a few private messages regarding the original chapter 10 of this story. It seemed that some people felt it was a little too graphic (I admit, it was quite an intimate and detailed chapter) and this put them off reading future updates, even though they claimed to like the story itself. Anyway, I really value all feedback; I do not want offend any readers, but I appreciate that a lot of you want to see Maura and Jane _together. _Therefore, I have decided to rework the original chapter slightly and publish it as a separate story titled '**My Story: Chapter 10 Insert**' (so if you want to read this and haven't done so already, please check it out). Hopefully this solution is the best of both worlds because those of you who want to read the intimate scenes can, and those of you who don't will not enter into it unwillingly!

* * *

"I love you Jane."

I looked into Maura's eyes, her kind and beautiful eyes, and I saw fear. Was she scared that I would run again? That I wouldn't feel the same way anymore? Or was she just scared because this is new? I mean, it's wonderful, but it's new and it's scary. I'm scared too; the love I feel for Maura terrifies me and invigorates me, all at the same time.

I love Maura, with all my heart. But never in my wildest dreams did I think she would feel the same way.

"You do?"

Maura's eyes were still veiled with hurt, I could see that, but I could also see hope and joy and a future. She gave a gentle but assured nod, and offered me a small dimpled smile.

God that smile.

"I do."

She spoke softly with such grace and tenderness. She never once broke eye contact, almost as if to reinforce her words and emphasise that she really meant it. Maura Isles really does love me.

I couldn't help the huge grin that spread across my face. For reasons I will never understand, the woman I love loves me back! Upon seeing my reaction, Maura's small smile became impossibly brighter. Like the sun, Maura is the sun.

"I love you too." I gently replied, still basking in her light.

"The truth is Jane, I think I've been falling in love with you since the day I met you."

"Really? Even though I was dressed as a hooker the first time we met?"

"Even then!" She chuckled.

"I saw something in you that day, an unmistakable spark, and I knew that there was so much more to you than your dishevelled appearance and questionable profession. At first, I just wanted to understand you. You were this beautiful anomaly, an equation that I was yet to solve. But the more I got to know you, the more I wanted to know and somewhere along the way, I fell madly and deeply in love with you."

"I am madly and deeply in love with you too." I explained as I leant in to kiss Maura again.

Her lips were impossibly soft, and as I reached up to stroke her cheek, I realised that her skin was impossibly soft too. Men are rough and prickly, but Maura is soft and delicate. Maura is a beautiful flower and I am just a thorn upon her stem. Suddenly, I felt insecure again. How could such an incredible woman see anything in me?

I broke away from the kiss and immediately missed the sensation of Maura's lips upon mine.

"Maur?"

Obviously sensing my anxiety, Maura gently took both of my hands in her own. Her thumbs lovingly tracing the scars on my hands.

"Yes Jane?"

"When did you realise you loved me?"

I hated how vulnerable and needy I sounded, but then I reminded myself that I am allowed to be vulnerable with Maura.

She paused for a moment and then looked up at me.

"You really want to know?"

I nodded eagerly.

"It was actually a really long time ago... It was the first time we dealt with Hoyt together" she began and I listened intently.

"Do you remember when Hoyt said that the reason why I wasn't scared of him was because I was like him?"

I remember it clearly. That evil, slimy, venomous bastard couldn't have been more wrong about Maura.

"I told you about my childhood and explained that it was actually quite similar to Hoyt's. I was genuinely concerned that I was like him. You were the first person I opened up to; you took my hands and held them, the same way I am holding yours now. Do you remember what you said to me? Because I don't think I'll ever forget it. You said 'no matter what happened to you, you are _nothing_ like that monster. Okay? Yeah, you're a little antisocial, maybe a little goofy but that's not the same thing.' Your words saved me, Jane. They mattered, more than you ever knew. They're what got me here. You saved me."

Tears filled Maura's eyes and I could feel a familiar prickly feeling in my own. I squeezed her hands tightly.

"We all need saving sometimes, Maur. You've saved me more times than I can count. I have a question… How come you never told me?" I was genuinely intrigued.

"Because you were totally into Agent Dean!" Maura answered light-heartedly.

I was about to protest, but she was right. Back then, I was totally into Agent Dean.

"But so were you!" I exclaimed.

"Oh not like you! I admit that I was attracted to him, and maybe, just maybe I would have pursued him… If I wasn't already falling for someone else. And besides, I think you would have shot me if I started seeing him!" She chuckled.

"I wouldn't have shot you! I was moderately fond of you, but more importantly, a stint in jail probably would have severed my chances with Gabriel!" I joked (to which she playfully swatted my arm).

"What about you? When did you realise you loved me?" Maura asked, her eyes twinkling with intrigue.

I smirked as I recalled that fateful day….

_After I had finished talking to Rondo, I went to find Frost._

_"Apparently Maura has a new hunk!" I exclaimed._

_"Good for her?" Frost could barely hide his disinterest._

_"But she didn't tell me about him! We're supposed to be friends… I tell her stuff!" I exclaimed._

_Frost suddenly changed his tune and decided to be supportive._

_"Did you talk to her about it?" _

_"Ha funny you should say that! First she told me that he was just an old friend, then she fed me some stupid line about how she wasn't not telling me about Ian, and she was just acting weird! I mean, she's a grown-up… She can sleep with whoever she wants, I wouldn't judge her or get all weird about it!"_

_"So this isn't you judging her and getting all weird about it?"_

_"Don't be a smartass Frost! I don't have a problem with her hooking up with Ian-"_

_"Really? Because that tone and that face say you do!" Frost interrupted._

_"NO! I have a problem with her keeping it from me! I thought we were closer than that. She's my best friend, or at least I thought she was." _

_All of a sudden Frost began to laugh… What the hell was he playing at?! This wasn't a joking matter!_

_"Nothing about this is funny, so why are you laughing?" I enquired bitterly._

_"Don't you get it?"_

_"Get what?"_

_"It's Maura." He stressed._

_"I know who Maura is! She's my best friend!"_

_"No, I'm your best friend! Get it yet?" He clarified omnisciently._

_I thought about what he was saying. He knows how close I am to Maura, he wouldn't really think that he and I had a closer relationship? Suddenly it dawned on me. I couldn't have a closer relationship with anyone because… because…_

_"You love Maura." He stated, pulling me from my thoughts._

_"I love Maura. I love Maura!" I repeated._

_It all made sense now. I had never had a friend like her before. I had never felt that way about any of my friends before. This was different. She was different. We are so much more than just best friends! How could I have been so blind! I love her, I'm crazy in love with her! God I'm such an idiot!_

_"So what are you going to do about it?"_

_"What?"_

_"You know, how are you gonna get your girl?"_

_"I'm not going to DO anything. She likes Ian." I stressed._

_"Exactly, she LIKES Ian. I'm pretty sure she LOVES you."_

_"What are you talking about Frost?!"_

_"Come on, Jane! I've seen the way you two look at each other!"_

_"We don't look at each other! I mean, of course we look at each other but we don't LOOK at each other!"_

_"Yeah you do! I'm telling you, we all see it! Well, all of us apart from the two of you apparently!"_

_"So what do I do? Should I tell her? Why am I asking that? I can't tell her! She's with Ian!" I rambled._

_"Something tells me he won't be sticking around very long. You said he lives in Africa, right?"_

_"Uh-huh." I nodded._

_"So tell her when he leaves. Trust me on this one Jane, you need to tell her."_

"Why didn't you tell me? After Ian left, why didn't you tell me?" Maura asked quietly.

"Oh, believe me, I tried to!" I laughed.

"What do you mean?"

_I barged into the crime lab. It's now or never… Rip off the band-aid. _

_"I love you. I think I have always loved you and I always will."_

_See, that wasn't so hard was it? I looked up to see Maura's reaction, only it wasn't Maura. Instead I had told some random curly haired crime tech that I would always love him and now he was staring at me like a deer in the headlights! _

_"Well, this is awkward! I'm sorry! I don't love you, I don't even know you! I have never loved you and I never will. Sorry again!" I laughed awkwardly._

"And things were never the same between me and Steve after that!"

"I think you mean Graham. Graham had curly hair."

"Well whatever his name is then! The point is, it was always very weird after that!" I added.

There was one more part of the story that I had to tell Maura.

"I went to your house, to see if you were okay after I told you that Ian was wanted for questioning by Interpol for stealing drugs, and to tell you all of the things I had just told Brian-"

"Graham!"

"Right, whatever. I was going to tell you, but you were so sad and then you said-"

"You know, when people talk about the loves of their lives? That's Ian." She said dejectedly.

"Yeah, that. I couldn't confess my love for you when you were crying about some guy you claimed was the love of your life!"

"I wasn't just sad because of Ian. I was sad because it felt like I could never be with anyone I thought I could love. I thought I loved Ian, but I couldn't be with him because he was a fugitive and never stuck around long enough for me to see if I really could love him. And you. I knew I loved you, but I thought I could never be with you because, well, I'm a woman and you only saw me as a friend."

Maura's eyes were full of fresh tears but she didn't let them fall. Instead she shook her head and offered me a small and watery smile.

I thought back to what Maura said to me.

"It makes me so sad. Wait- how can you- how can you love someone and not be able to be with them."

At the time, I had no idea that Maura was also talking about wanting to be with me, loving me. I thought about how different things would have been if I had told her how I felt anyway.

"I should have told you anyway." I expressed sadly.

"I should have told you anyway too. I guess we just kept missing each other." Maura smiled sadly.

"Did you ever think about telling me?" I asked, unsure of whether I wanted to know the answer.

"Lots of times. I thought about telling you lots of times but I just couldn't find the words. I was too afraid that I'd lose my best friend. So I wrote you a letter, you know, to say all of the things I was too afraid to actually say to you!"

I was confused and surprised. What letter? I never got a letter! Oh god, did she think I got the letter but didn't feel the same way because I never replied? I took both of her hands in mine and held them gently, gazing into her eyes as I spoke.

"Maura, I never got your letter."

"I know."

"What?"

"I never sent it, Jane. I planned to give it to you after Casey left but things kept getting in the way."

My heart broke. We had wasted so much time, gone through so much unnecessary hurt all because the timing wasn't quite right. It didn't seem fair but then I finally realised something, none of it mattered because we still found each other, we still love each other and now we have a future together.

"I still have the letter. I kept it all this time, I just didn't have the confidence to actually do something with it."

"Can I read it?" I asked quietly and Maura got up to retrieve it.

When she returned, her hand shook as she gave it to me.

"I wrote it a long time ago, Jane. Since then, my love for you has grown more than I ever thought possible."

I looked up at her and gave her a soft smile.

"Thank you."

I opened the letter and began to read.

18/03/14

Dear Jane,

I know we see each other almost every day but I wanted to write this letter to you. All the thoughts and feelings that I have been keeping bottled up inside me are all-consuming and finally overflowing. I thought it was best to write a letter in order to allow you to take your time trying to decide on what I am about to say. I do not want to put pressure on you and lose you all together. How am I supposed to live without my best friend?

I know that you are devastated that Casey left. You can continue to tell me that you aren't, pretend that everything is perfect, that you are fine but I know it's not true. Your eyes betray you time and again. Casey is a foolish man who has no idea how lucky he was to have you and it makes me sick.

He was the luckiest man in the world to have you, Jane, but he doesn't deserve you and you deserve far better. You deserve someone who doesn't know what their life would be without you in it, not someone who doesn't know who they are if they aren't a soldier. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of their heart, someone who spends every minute of every day thinking about you, wondering what you're doing and if you are okay. You deserve someone who will support you and help you reach your dreams, protect you from your fears and will be standing right next to you in all your battles. You deserve someone who will love and cherish every part of you, respect and honour you, and doesn't want you to give up anything to be with them. You shouldn't have to give up anything, Jane. You should be with someone who makes you happy, really, truly happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago. I should have told you all of this years ago but I was too scared to try.

I am not scared anymore, Jane. I want to try. I know what that feeling was when we were talking about your engagement ring and marrying Casey – it was jealousy. My heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces when I saw the woman I love turning away from me to spend the rest of her life with someone else. It almost destroyed me to know that you would leave and I would never be able to tell you how I felt, to hold you how I wanted to hold you, to love you the way you deserved to be loved.

I should have told you all this a long time ago and because I didn't, I have let many wasted years slip by. I want to be with you, Jane. I want to spend every minute of every day for the rest of my life with you. I love you Jane. Always.

No matter what, no matter how you feel about me, please do not waste any more of your time or energy on Casey. He is not worth sacrificing the things you love for and you deserve so much more than the life he had to offer you.

All the love in my heart,

Maura x

I couldn't believe what I was reading. I could feel the love and adoration permeating through the paper, through the ink, through the words. It was clear that the feelings that I have for Maura have always been reciprocated, and she was able to express them far more eloquently than I ever could. Tears were streaming down my face and I decided that they were both happy and sad tears; I was so unbelievably happy that Maura loved me and wanted to be with me, but I was sad that it took so much time and so much heartbreak and suffering to get to where we are today. I felt the pad of Maura's thumb wipe away the tears. Her touch was cool but unbelievably comforting.

"I meant every word of it Jane, I still do. I would like to say that I wish I had sent you the letter, but that wouldn't be entirely true." Maura mentioned nervously.

She didn't need to explain why, I understood. I looked at her and gave her a warm smile, wordlessly trying to tell her that I understood completely.

"If you had sent the letter, you wouldn't have had Rosa. I understand, Maur. For that reason, I'm glad you didn't send it. You and Rosa are the best things that have ever happened to me and I wouldn't change either of you for the world." I explained lovingly.

Maura placed a chaste and tender kiss on my lips. I really loved how Maura's soft lips felt on my own and for a moment, I never wanted her lips to leave mine but I pulled back, breaking the connection.

"Maura Isles, would you like to go on a date with me?" I asked timidly.

"I would be honoured." Maura positively glowed as she spoke.

I grinned from ear to ear, certain that I looked like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland but still I didn't care. I was too busy being happy, like dancing-on-air happy! Maura's eyes drifted towards the clock on her bedside table.

"As much as I want to stay here all day with you, and believe me, I really want to, I have to get Rosa ready for school and go to work." Maura informed, her tone thick with disappointment.

I looked at the clock, it was 7:30am and neither of us had showered or eaten breakfast, and there was still Sleeping Beauty in the next room who had to be at school for 8:30am.

"It's fine Maura, really. I actually have few things to sort out for myself. You just get yourself ready, wake up that beautiful little girl of yours and I'll start making breakfast." I gently instructed, placing a soft kiss on her cheek afterwards.

"What did I ever do without you Jane?" Maura asked, flashing me her signature dimpled smile.

About 20 minutes later, Maura and Rosa joined me in the kitchen. They were each beautiful in their own right, but when they were together, it was something else. They look so similar and Rosa clearly had a great turn of the genetic wheel. I mean, Jack is an attractive man but Maura is just so breathtakingly beautiful… The kid would have been beautiful no matter who she looked like!

"Good morning Sunshine!" I called out to Rosa who giggled at the nickname.

"Good morning Aunt Jane… Are you making bunny pancakes?" She asked excitedly.

"No buddy, I'm not. These are Aunt Jane's special pancakes."

"More special than bunny pancakes?"

Rosa gave me a confused look and then turned her gaze towards Maura who gave her a small smile and a shrug of the shoulders in response. I handed Rosa the plate of pancakes.

"See for yourself!" I stated.

Rosa looked at the plate in front of her; on it was a pancake with chocolate chips placed on the top to make a smiley face and several strawberries cut in half and arranged around the outside to look like flower petals. I swear, her whole face lit up!

"Wow!" She exclaimed.

"Where's my pancake?" Maura piped up.

"Right here!"

As I handed Maura the plate, I placed one hand to my face and leant in to Rosa as if I was about to tell her a secret.

"Someone's impatient this morning!" I whispered to Rosa.

"Hey, I heard that!" Maura feigned offense and Rosa and I laughed.

"Wow Jane, these pancakes are awesome!" Maura stated as she looked at her pancake.

It was nothing short of a masterpiece, just like Maura… Well, not exactly like Maura! This pancake had two raspberries for eyes, half a strawberry for the nose and slices of banana topped with blueberries fashioned into a mouth. It also had lots of blueberries at the top of the plate to make the hair.

"Happy and healthy!" I remarked.

"Rich in antioxidants and full of fibre, potassium, folate, vitamin C, vitamin B6 and phytonutrients. The fibre in blueberries helps to lower the total amount of cholesterol in the blood and reduces the risk of developing heart disease. You did good, Jane." Maura said as she gave me a gentle pat on the back.

I went back to the kitchen counter to collect my own pancake and joined my girls at the dining table. As I sat down, Maura looked at my pancake and let out a hearty chuckle. It had two fried eggs for eyes, a cube of butter for the nose and two slices of bacon positioned to make another smiling mouth.

"Okay, so this one's not exactly healthy but is happy and it'll make me even happier when I eat it!" I joked.

The rest of the morning was full of laughter and a light and carefree atmosphere filled the house. Maura and Rosa left a short while later and I decided that now was a good time to get myself ready to face the day. After all, it was going to be a long one.

I strolled through the cafeteria at the precinct. It felt so strange being back there; I had changed, everything had changed, but the cafeteria still looked exactly the same.

"Janie! What are you doing here?" Ma called out to me.

"I came to beg for my old job back but first, I need coffee!" I explained.

"Really? So you're really staying?" Ma didn't even try to contain her excitement.

"Yeah ma, looks like you're stuck with me!"

She pounced on me and began to smother me in kisses. I hate to say it, but I missed that too.

"I'm so happy for you Jane. You shouldn't have much trouble getting your job back… After all, the Lieutenant has a soft spot for you!" Ma said as she handed me my coffee to go.

Cavanaugh has a soft spot for me? Well, I am good at my job and he did sleep with my mother, so I guess that counts for something! I confidently prowled through the bullpen and knocked on the Lieutenant's door.

"Well, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence!"

"Korsak!"

I immediately enveloped Vince in a hug.

"It's Lieutenant Korsak now." Korsak smiled warmly.

"It's so good to see you. You haven't aged a bit!"

"It's good to see you too, Jane. Thanks for the compliment… Tryin' to butter me up? What can I do for you?" He asked.

"Well, you see… I- I was hoping that maybe I could have my old job back. I mean, it was great being an agent and all but I definitely feel more at home here. Boston is my home, BPD is my home and my family is right here."

I hoped that would be enough. I've never had to beg for a job before, let alone one I willingly gave up in search of something better! I tried to get a read on Korsak but his expression was unreadable. He looked serious. I nervously caught my bottom lip between my teeth and began to fidget. It felt like time was standing still until Korsak smiled again and extended his hand for me to shake.

"It would be a pleasure to have to back, Rizzoli."

I shook his hand vigorously.

"Thank you, Vince! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You will not regret this!" I assured.

"I know. How soon can you start?" He asked happily.

"How about next week?" I asked enthusiastically.

Part of me wanted to go back to work straight away; I really had missed it here, but most of me wanted to spend as much time as I could in my pretty pink bubble with Maura before we had to get back to reality.

"Perfect. I'll see you then."

I hugged Korsak again on my way out and apologised for being a stranger. Vince was a good friend and I was embarrassed that I hadn't kept in touch with him either. I left the precinct with a spring in my step, a smile on my face, and an idea for the perfect date night in my head! It was time to put the wheels in motion.

So, date night tonight! I'll pick you up at 7 – J x

I'll be waiting – M x

I rang the doorbell. I was excited and nervous; I had butterflies in my stomach.

"Get it together, Rizzoli!" I muttered to myself before Maura opened the door.

The door opened and I was greeted by the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. She was wearing a deep plum dress that highlighted every curve, black suede heels and a leather jacket. I felt my chin hit the floor!

"Hi" I stuttered.

"Hi."

She gave me one of those smiles again, you know, when she smiles with her whole face and it just instantly makes everything so much brighter. We stood there awkwardly for a few moments, both nervous and unsure of what to say next.

"I wasn't sure what to wear, I hope this is okay." Maura mumbled nervously.

"Okay? Maura, you look great. Better than great, you look stunning." I smiled.

"My hair" she began as she twirled a section with her finger. "It's not… too curly?"

"I love your curls. That's the best bit, they frame that beautiful face of yours." I answered sincerely.

Maura blushed and I continued.

"I have fallen completely in love with you, and that was obviously going to happen because you have such a gorgeous face, and perfect hair. But even if you had an ugly face and no hair, I would still adore you. You are stunningly beautiful, inside and out, Maur. It's just me, you don't need to impress me. You already have me." I assured.

"I'm a little nervous." She replied honestly.

"Me too."

I smiled and offered Maura my hand, she gladly accepted. I walked her to my car and opened the passenger door for her. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that tonight was perfect.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"You know I don't like surprises, Jane."

"Hopefully you'll like this one, but why don't you open the glove compartment." I gently commanded and Maura complied.

"What is it?"

"A clue, read it."

"Jorge left a basket, it was filled with lots of treats. You stole a bag of something, from the place we're going to eat." Maura read aloud.

"Can you guess where we're going?"

Maura's brow furrowed as she tried to remember what was in the basket. I smiled when she had that lightbulb moment when she realised where we were going.

"Really?! You remembered that!" Her eyes lit up.

When we arrived Max Brenner, the best dessert restaurant in Boston, Maura acted like a child in a candy shop… Well, we were kind of in a candy shop and she was really cute, so I'll let her off!

"I love fudge clusters and I love you. I can't believe you remembered!" She gushed.

"I remember a lot of things about you." I smiled, taking her hand in mine.

After our magnificent meal and divine dessert, the waiter handed me the cheque and Maura another clue. Phase one complete, now for phase two.

"This pastime is my favourite, we've had a lot of fun. Pitted friends against each other, remember when you won?" Maura read out the clue and giggled when she saw my stick man labelled 'Frost's mom.'

"You're taking me to watch baseball? Is there a match on at this time?" Maura asked.

"Not to watch, to play. I'm going to teach you." I smiled.

We stood in front of the pitching fast ball machine. I stood behind Maura, held her and taught her how to perfect her swing. Just like I wanted to all those years ago, only it was even better than I imagined it would be.

We spent the whole evening laughing and just simply enjoying each other's company. It was perfect and for a moment at least, it felt like all of the pain we had endured throughout the years had just vanished.

I walked Maura to her front door and kissed her goodnight. I was supposed to be staying with ma, and I didn't mean to sleepover last night… Plus, this was our first date! I didn't want to be presumptuous and assume that I would be staying the night (but I did pack an overnight bag and put it in the trunk, just in case).

"Would you like to come in?" Maura asked sweetly but seductively.

"I would love to."

Rosa was staying with ma tonight, so we had the house to ourselves. Maura poured us both a glass of wine and well, one thing led to another and we began kissing passionately. Maura pulled away and took my hand.

"Come with me." She instructed, still holding onto my hand.

She led me through the hallway and into her bedroom, promptly shutting the door behind us. She planted a kiss on my lips, a kiss unlike any other. It was full of love, lust and desire. I knew in that moment that tonight was going to be the night, our night.

* * *

**A.N.** Remember to check out '**My Story: Chapter 10 Insert**' if you would like to read the M-rated scene that follows this chapter. Also, if there is anything you want to see happen in this story, please let me know and I will do my best to accommodate your request.


	11. The Middle: Part Seven

**A.N. Thank you for all of your lovely reviews. Clody – in answer to your question, Rosa has grown up hearing stories about Jane and there a photographs of her dotted all around Maura's house. This will actually be addressed in a later chapter, but I just wanted to put you mind at ease right now. Hope this helps :)**

**N.B. In this story, flashbacks are written in italics. These sections are not set in the present, they are sequences of events that have already occurred but help set the scene or show a character's thought process. I hope this provides some clarity and makes it slightly easier to follow this chapter.**

* * *

_"Good morning Frankie, thanks for coming to pick me up today."_

_"It's not a problem, Maura. Mind if we swing by Boston Joe's for coffee before work?"_

_"Not at all."_

_Boston Joe's was buzzing and it appeared that everyone in the city had decided to pile in and pick up their morning coffee. It was understandable really; Boston Joe's serves the best coffee in the area, and not only does the consumption of coffee provide an energy boost, new research suggests that black coffee may lower the risk of liver disease and even act as a preventative measure of diabetes._

_"Non-fat, no foam latte for Maura." The barista called out._

_"Thank you." I smiled as I reached out for my coffee._

_I stepped back to join Frankie again. He was still waiting patiently for his espresso._

_"Maura. That's a pretty name, it certainly suits you."_

_I turned towards the voice and found myself staring into the eyes of an attractive yet unremarkable looking man. His eyes had a certain twinkle but they were a muddy brown, nothing like Jane's rich and soothing chocolate brown eyes. He was tall, had good musculature, a chiselled face, and a well-groomed mop of curly black hair._

_"Thank you." I blushed._

_"I'm Kevin, by the way. It was a pleasure to meet you, Maura. I hope to see you again sometime." He beamed as he turned to leave._

_"Wow, that guy was totally into you! You should go after him and ask him out for a drink later." Frankie encouraged._

_"I don't know, Frankie… It would be impossible to book a decent sitter at this short notice and I haven't been on a date in a really long time. I wouldn't know what to talk about or what to wear! It would be a disaster!"_

_I had only been on a few dates since Rosa was born, and none of them were experiences I would like to relive. Everyone kept telling me that I should start dating again, that it would be good for me, but it didn't feel good to me. It felt wrong._

_"I'll watch Rosa and help you prepare for your date! Job done, now go after him!"_

_Maybe I should go after him. For all I know, he could be the one. Who am I kidding? I'm not even sure I believe in 'the one' anymore, but I know that it's not him. Still, I went after him and arranged to meet him at a fancy new bar later that night. He was charming and it might be nice to enjoy someone else's company for a change. It doesn't have to mean anything, it doesn't have to be true love or something fantastical like that. It can just be simple and easy and feel right in the moment._

_I didn't think it was possible for this date to go any worse than the last but I could not have been more wrong. This was awful. I let myself in quietly and wished that this dreadful night could just be over already. Upon seeing me enter, Frankie leapt up from the couch._

_"Maura? What happened?" Frankie asked, his voice soft but thick with emotion._

_I glided towards the counter and dumped my keys on the surface. I pulled out a stool and sat down slowly. I really didn't feel like talking about it. Not now, not ever. It was humiliating. I rested my elbows on the counter and held my head in my hands. Frankie cautiously made his way over to me and gently placed his hand on my shoulder._

_"Talk to me, Maura."_

_I looked up to meet Frankie's gaze and saw the concern in his eyes._

_"Kevin stood me up." I informed._

_"What? Are you kidding me?" He probed, his voice now full of anger._

_"I waited for 35 minutes and there still wasn't any sign of him. I thought he might be stuck in traffic or something, maybe he was just running late. I tried calling him a few times, but he ignored all of my calls. After I had been waiting for a whole hour, I decided to call him one last time. When he finally picked up, he explained that he got held up at work but I knew he was lying. I could hear music blaring in the background; he must have been in a club somewhere, probably trying to hook up with another woman."_

_"I'm so sorry, Maura." Frankie soothed._

_"It happens." I shrugged, attempting to brush it off but my voice was heavy with defeat._

_Frankie saw right through my façade and pulled up a stool next to me. It wasn't so much that I was upset things didn't work out with Kevin, that didn't really bother me as my heart wasn't in it anyway. What bothered me was that no matter what, I always seemed to end up alone._

_"Frankie?" I asked quietly._

_He smiled slightly and gave me a gentle nod, encouraging me to continue._

_"Is there something wrong with me? Am I a terrible person?" I whispered._

_I desperately tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. Nobody likes a whiny, snivelling misanthropist._

_"Maura, look at me."_

_Frankie's warm brown eyes bored into my soul. He gently placed his hand on top of mine and continued._

_"There is nothing wrong with you, okay? You are beautiful, and kind, and insanely smart. You are one of my favourite people. Kevin is an idiot for standing you up." He smiled._

_A stray tear trickled down my face and I offered him an appreciative but watery smile in return._

_"I have had the worst luck when it comes to dating!" I shook my head and let out a bitter chuckle._

_Frankie squeezed my hand a little tighter and looked at me. His expression was gravely serious._

_"Maura, can I ask you something? Do you think it's possible that all of your dates have ended badly because you are sabotaging yourself?" He enquired delicately._

_"What do you mean, Frankie?"_

_He let out a long sigh and shook his head. He was clearly conflicted about whether or not he should continue._

_"I think you are waiting for someone else to swoop in and save you, but she isn't coming, Maura. Jane isn't coming."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about! I am not waiting for Jane!" I stressed._

_It had been almost two years since Jane left and it was becoming abundantly clear that we didn't have a future together. Even when she was here, she wasn't interested in me. It was never going to happen._

_"Yes you are, Maura. You love her. It's written all over your face."_

_I furrowed my brow. Was it really that obvious? Frankie offered me a sad half-smile and carried on talking._

_"She must have been pretty special to you because nobody can measure up to her. I know that's what you do every time you meet someone new: compare. I'm sure she was a great friend and I'm sure she made you feel awesome when she was with you, but she's not here. She chose to move hundreds of miles away to become a big-shot FBI agent and I don't think she is thinking about leaving that life anytime soon. She hasn't visited you at all since she left, even though it only takes an hour and fifteen minutes to fly from DC to Boston. She hasn't even called you once, Maura. She's moved on, you should too. You deserve to be happy, Maura and you're not going to find happiness if you spend your whole life pining for Jane."_

_The floodgates opened and I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. Frankie was right, I was waiting for Jane. Whenever I pictured sharing my life with someone, it was always Jane. It was always Jane._

_"I really miss her, Frankie. I wake up in the morning and I feel like I'm missing something. I know there's something not right, and it takes me a while to remember what it is. Then I remember. My best friend is gone. The love of my life is gone. I don't know who I am without Jane. It was so stupid of me to let myself rely so much on one person." I cried and shook my head._

_"You're not stupid, Maura. I know it sucks right now, but it will get better. That pain you feel in your heart will go away. You will find love, or it will find you, but in order for that to happen, you have to let go of Jane."_

_"We had something so special, Frankie. I'm not sure if I'll ever be willing to let that go."_

* * *

Lavender. That was the first thing I noticed as I drifted out of my slumber. Lavender with a hint of something else, a scent so sweet and intoxicating, something uniquely Jane. I let my eyes flutter open and I took in my surroundings. Jane's face was nestled into the crook of my neck and her arm was lovingly draped over my stomach. She looked so calm and peaceful in her sleep. I watched her chest rise and fall slowly, and felt her warm breath tickle my neck with each exhale. It was incredibly comforting having Jane there, feeling the warmth of her body against mine. It felt like heaven to me. I glanced over at the alarm clock on my bedside table. 6:40. I groaned, knowing that my alarm was due to go off any minute.

"Jane." I whispered softly into her ear.

Nothing.

"Jane." I whispered again as I lightly tapped her shoulder.

I felt guilty trying to wake Jane up but I had to get ready for work, and I was worried that it would upset her if she woke up and I was gone. The last thing I wanted was for her to wake up alone and assume that I had slipped away while she was sleeping because I was having second thoughts about being with her.

She finally opened her eyes and I could see those rich, deep, and alluring chocolate globes in all their glory.

"Morning." She yawned sleepily.

"Good morning." I beamed.

"What time is it?"

"Time to get up." I sighed sadly.

Jane did not respond verbally, instead she just snuggled in closer.

"Jane" I chuckled. "I have to get ready for work!"

I reluctantly untangled myself from Jane's embrace and immediately missed the sense of comfort and safety it provided me with. I swung my legs over the side of the mattress and pushed myself up with my hands. I was about to walk away when Jane caught my arm.

"Please come back. You're warm."

"I'm going to be late." I smiled half-heartedly.

I wanted nothing more than to lie next to Jane, feel the warmth radiating from her body, and to forget about the real-world for a moment.

"Five more minutes?" She begged.

I looked down at her sad baby-seal eyes and her adorable pout. She was impossible to resist. I rolled my eyes and sighed in defeat as I climbed back into bed. I inched myself into Jane's welcoming arms and smiled contentedly. I knew I really had to get ready for work, but right now, I found it almost impossible to care. Jane snuck her hand into my hair and allowed her nimble fingers to thread through the curls.

"Whatever you're worrying about, just stop." Jane muttered.

"How did you know I was worrying about something?" I asked in surpise. "You can't even see me."

"You really think I need to see your beautiful face to know that there's something going on in that brilliant brain of yours?" Jane asked lovingly, her eyes still tightly shut.

"I was just thinking about us –"

"You're not having second thoughts are you?" She asked as her eyes blinked open.

"No, of course not. I want to be with you, Jane… Unless that's not what you want, then –"

"I want that too, Maur." She grinned.

"So what are we? Are-are we girlfriends?" I queried.

"Yes, girlfriends. I like the sound of that." Jane sighed as she placed a tender kiss on my lips.

"We should tell people, shouldn't we? It's better that they hear it from us, and sooner rather than later." I thought.

"Can we just keep this to ourselves for a little bit longer, Maur?"

My heart sank. I felt the familiar sting in my eyes as they began to pool with water.

"Are you ashamed of me?" I asked dejectedly.

Jane placed her hands on my cheeks, and tilted my head upwards so that I could see her eyes. They were so full of love and adoration, there didn't appear to be a single trace of embarrassment.

"No, god, no." She shook her head vigorously. "Maura, I could never be ashamed of you. I love you so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops… but Tommy and Lydia are getting married this weekend, and everything should be about them. I don't want to steal their thunder." She explained affectionately.

Jane was right, the focus and attention should be on Tommy and Lydia. I could wait a few more days to share our news, couldn't I?

"I understand." I smiled.

"I love you Maura. I know I made a lot of mistakes, I know that I hurt you and all that pain doesn't just go away because I came back. I love you, and I want to try to make it up to you. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way." Jane promised with absolute sincerity.

I kissed Jane passionately and felt her smile into my lips.

"I'll hold you to that." I grinned from ear to ear. "But now I really have to go to work!"

I bolted out of bed and straight into the bathroom. As I closed the door behind me, I felt a sudden wave of anxiety.

"Jane?" I called out in a panic.

"Maura, what is it? Is something wrong?" I heard Jane shriek from the bedroom.

"What do I do about your mother? She's going to ask me about last night and I can't avoid her all day!" I asked, poking my head around the door.

"Maura!" She huffed. "I thought something was seriously wrong!"

"It is! What am I going to do?! What am I going to say?!" I yelped.

"Just breathe. Say good morning and when she asks if you had a good night, just say yes and change the subject. You'll be fine." Jane patted me on the shoulder and chuckled.

* * *

"Good morning Angela!"

"Good morning honey! Did you girls have a nice night?"

"Yes!"

I quickly covered my mouth as I heard how that sounded. It was abrupt, almost rude even. Angela frowned, her beady blue eyes fixated on me. I composed myself and decided to try that again.

"Yes, we did have a nice night thank you." I clarified politely.

Angela knew something was going on. I could see her trying to solve the puzzle, work out the mystery, but it looked like she drew a blank. Her frown was replaced by a bright smile and she threw her arms around me.

"I'm so glad you're friends again! It's nice to have my favourite girls in the same place again." Angela gushed.

"Me too. Everything is better when Jane's here." I smiled.

I gently patted her on the back before breaking away from her embrace.

"Thank you again for having Rosa last night, I hope she behaved for you!"

"She was an angel, as always. She's such a good kid and so unlike any of mine when they were babies!" She joked.

"She has her moments!" I chuckled. "Anyway, I should get to work. Take care Angela."

"You too, honey. Have a nice day!" She called after me.

When I arrived at my office, I unpacked my briefcase and tried to get myself organised in preparation for the day ahead. I sat down at my desk and was about to tackle a mountainous pile of paperwork when a very solemn looking Korsak knocked on my door.

"Sorry to disturb you Doctor Isles, but we need you upstairs." He stated.

I furrowed my brow; this must be serious.

"Of course, I'll be right there." I assured and he walked away.

I was right. It was serious. The day went from being bright and cheerful to miserable and overcast in a heartbeat. Life in the lab was particularly chaotic and it was evident that I would be working late tonight. I pulled out my phone from my purse and texted Jane to let her know that I would be home late, and to ask if she could pick Rosa up from school for me.

* * *

My body felt weary, heavy and unsteady as I clambered out of my car and headed towards the house. I clutched a stack of casefiles close to my chest as I opened the front door. As I walked in, I saw Jane reading to a pyjama-clad Rosa on the couch. The tender scene unfolding in front of me warmed my heart, and already I felt a little better. Jane looked up from the book and offered me a warm smile.

"Hi Maur."

In an instant, Rosa leapt up from the couch and the swift action seemed to somewhat startle Jane.

"Mommy, you're home!" Rosa cried as she charged towards me.

She threw her arms around my legs, encompassing me in a tight hug. I set my briefcase and files down on the floor, and crouched down to embrace her properly.

"I missed you so much, sweetie." I exclaimed as I smothered her in kisses.

"I missed you too, mommy." Rosa smiled.

Every night when I return home from work, Rosa always runs to welcome me at the door. I am always so glad whenever I can share her love and light and laughter, but sometimes I feel a melancholic sadness because I know that she is growing up so fast and one day, she will enter her own world and she won't need me anymore. In those moments, I just want to cling onto her and never let her slip away.

"Mommy?" Rosa asked, quietly pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yes sweetie?"

"You're hugging me too tight." She croaked.

"Sorry!" I quickly dropped my arms and released her.

"Mommy, is something wrong?" Rosa enquired sweetly.

"No, nothing is wrong. Mommy's just had a long day." I sighed.

Jane furrowed her brow; she knew that there was more to it than that and I smiled sadly, wordlessly informing her that we will talk about it later.

"So, what have you two been up to today?" I queried.

Jane looked as if she was about to answer but Rosa pipped her to the post.

"I learnt so much at school today! It was really fun… but Jamie pulled my hair again. Why can't we be friends?"

Jamie is a little boy in Rosa's class. He has fair hair, a freckled face and very closely resembles the cartoon character Dennis the Menace. On one occasion he pushed Rosa off her bike; his parents were horrified and very apologetic. It seems he is always causing mischief.

"Because he's silly but once he grows up a bit, I'm sure he'll see what he's been missing out on." Jane explained as she playfully ruffled Rosa's hair.

Rosa let out a quiet yawn and it was obvious that she was desperately trying to stay awake.

"Come on you, time for bed."

"But mommy! I'm not tired." Rosa protested.

I raised my eyebrows knowingly and she involuntarily yawned again.

"Okay mommy." She relented.

She slowly approached Jane again, raising her arms for a hug. Jane happily obeyed and placed a kiss into her hair.

"Goodnight Aunt Jane. Thank you for taking me to the park and for reading to me. The Little Mermaid is my favourite."

"Goodnight bud, sweet dreams."

I held out my hand for Rosa and she took it, delicately weaving our fingers together. Rosa continued to chatter away (and yawn in between each sentence) until we reached her bed. I pulled back the covers, allowed her to climb in, and then tucked her in tightly. I smoothed her honey blonde curls out of her face and pressed a light kiss on her forehead. She looked up at me inquisitively with her turquoise eyes.

"Mommy? Is Aunt Jane going to stay with us forever?"

"I hope so." I replied.

"Good. I like having her here… She plays with me and she makes me laugh a lot and she gives really good hugs!" Rosa added enthusiastically.

"Yes she does." I chuckled.

I kissed her forehead one last time and turned to walk towards the door again. I leant up against the doorframe for a little while and Rosa smiled at me sleepily.

"Goodnight mommy."

"Goodnight sweetheart." I whispered as I switched off the light.

I headed back into the living room and slumped onto the couch.

"Looks like you've had a tough day. What happened?" Jane asked, her voice loaded with quiet concern.

"Tough case. The victim was just a child. He was only five years old, Jane. His hands and feet were bound, he was beaten, he had a clear plastic bag forced over his face and duct-tape wrapped around the opening of the bag and his neck. He suffocated slowly and he would have been able to see everything that was going on around him. I can't even begin to imagine how frightened he must have been."

"Oh god, that's awful. Poor kid."

Jane slowly sat down beside me. My hands were clasped together and placed in my lap, I sat up with my back straight, and tried to remain composed, desperately willing myself to hold it together.

"I've always found child murder cases difficult but since having Rosa, it has been far more distressing. All I can think about is how little he was, he was supposed to have his whole life ahead of him, and his poor parents are going to have to bury their son. It isn't fair." I sobbed.

It was all too much to bear. This case and everything surrounding it had taken its toll on me. With those tempestuous thoughts raging through my head, I finally cracked and broke down. Jane engulfed me in a loving embrace and consoled me.

"Hey, it's okay Maur. I've got you. What happened to that boy is disgusting and heart-breaking, and you are bound to feel sad about it, so cry. Let it all out, and tomorrow you will go back to work and do what you do better than anyone else. You will find all the evidence you need to nail the monster who did this."

At that moment, it was impossible for me to imagine how I had ever coped without Jane. Although love can be painful and heart-breaking at times, you should open your heart anyway. If you give up on love because you're scared of getting hurt again, or if you turn your back on true love because separation leads to temporary depression, you are going to miss out on something wonderful. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I want to spend the rest of my life with Jane because I love her. I will never be willing to give up on her, and I will never be willing to let go of the love I have for her.


	12. The Middle: Part Eight

**The Fray – Be Still**

_Be still and know that I'm with you_

_Be still and know that I am here_

_Be still and know that I'm with you_

_Be still, be still, and know_

_When darkness comes upon you_

_And covers you with fear and shame_

_Be still and know that I'm with you_

_And I will say your name_

_If terror falls upon your bed_

_And sleep no longer comes_

_Remember all the words I said_

_Be still, be still, and know_

* * *

"Hey, it's okay Maur. I've got you. What happened to that boy is disgusting and heart-breaking, and you are bound to feel sad about it, so cry. Let it all out, and tomorrow you will go back to work and do what you do better than anyone else. You will find all the evidence you need to nail the monster who did this."

I hated seeing Maura so upset. I wished that I could fix it but I couldn't. All I could do was be there for her, and comfort her, and hold her until she fell asleep. Eventually Maura's sobbing subsided. I held her close to me, and watched as her sorrow-filled eyes fluttered shut. I placed a kiss on the top of her head and she unconsciously nestled herself further into the crook of my neck. I sensed that even though Maura was sleeping, she was still seeking comfort, so I tightened my arms around her, and stroked my fingers up and down her back. Without really thinking, I started to sing. It seemed so unlike me but I felt like it was exactly what Maura needed. 'Be Still' was the first song that came to mind; it was so comforting and meaningful. I wanted Maura to know that I was with her. Now and forever. I wasn't really aware that I knew all the words, they just felt so natural. Once I reached the end of the song, I placed another kiss into her hair. I was startled out of my thoughts when Maura leaned up and kissed me along my jawline.

"I thought you were asleep." I whispered.

I could feel my cheeks turning a deep shade of red from embarrassment. I had never meant for Maura to actually hear me sing, and if I had known she was still awake, there is no way I would have had the guts to start singing!

"I was just resting my eyes. You have a lovely voice, Jane. It's very soothing."

Upon hearing Maura speak, I decided to let my embarrassment slide, and meet her gaze. Maura looked up at me and her hazel eyes still glistened in the dimly-lit room.

"Come on you, you should probably head up to bed now… Unless you want to sleep on the couch and wake up with some serious back ache tomorrow!"

"You're not staying?" She asked sadly.

I was very aware that Maura and I had only just started dating, and that we hadn't really talked about our sleeping arrangements yet. It wasn't that I didn't want to stay with Maura, I did. I really did. I wanted to fall asleep with her in my arms every night, and wake up to her every morning. I just didn't want to rush this, or to screw up again and end up losing her for good.

"Do you want me to stay?"

She nodded slowly.

"Then of course I'll stay. I'll stay for as long as you'll let me."

Maura took my hand in hers and guided me to her bedroom. She opened her top drawer and pulled out a pair of flannel pyjamas.

"I bought these for you. I wanted you to feel comfortable when you stay here."

I thought back to all of the times when I had just slept in my work clothes and that one time I borrowed a pair of Maura's silk pyjamas… I thought I was gonna slip right out of the bed and Maura would rush in to find my sorry ass in a heap on the floor! I chuckled at the memory. Maura looked at me in confusion and I just smiled back at her.

"Thank you."

I gratefully accepted the pyjamas and began to put them on as Maura got herself ready in the bathroom.

"I've left you out a toothbrush and a towel. Oh and I stocked up on the toiletries you like." She smiled as she emerged from the bathroom.

My heart swelled at the sentiment. Maura really wanted me to feel welcome in her house and it was unquestionably clear that she wanted me there.

"When did you have time to do all this?"

"All I did was buy some pyjamas and toiletries, Jane! It really isn't that impressive!" She chuckled.

"Thank you, Maura. It might not seem like much to you, but it means a lot to me."

After brushing my teeth, I made my way into the bedroom again. It was impossible to stop myself from smiling at the sight of Maura. She was already curled up under the covers and she looked adorable. I pulled back the duvet and Maura held out her arms in invitation. I slipped under the covers and scooted into her welcoming embrace. We lay in silence for a moment. Maura placed her palm over my heart and I felt it flutter beneath her touch. I had never experienced this sort of intimacy before, but with Maura it just felt so right.

"Jane?"

It was barely a whisper. If we hadn't been so impossibly close, it would have been easy to miss.

"Yeah Maura?"

"Thank you. I just wanted to say thank you. For tonight, for everything."

"You don't ever need to thank me, Maur. I'm here because I want to be. I want to spend every single day with you."

"Even the bad days?"

"Especially the bad days."

I felt Maura smile against my neck and snuggle further into me. Being there with her made me feel complete, more complete than I had ever felt before. She hugged me so tightly that it felt like all of my broken pieces fitted back together again. I finally knew what it felt like to be whole.

* * *

I stirred awake and stretched my arms above my head as a loud yawn slipped out of my mouth. Without opening my eyes, I rolled onto my side and stretched out my arm, longing to feel the soft, creamy expanse of Maura's skin. I patted the cold mattress and opened my eyes when I realised that the bed was empty. I had woken up alone many, many times before but this time, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I sat up slowly and dragged myself out of bed. I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and stifled a laugh.

"God, I'm a mess!"

I ran my fingers through my tangled tresses, and tried to smooth out the creases in my pyjamas. It was a desperate attempt to make myself look somewhat presentable before I set off to find Maura. As I left the bedroom, the sound of music flooded the halls and drew me towards the kitchen. I couldn't have supressed the huge, cheesy grin that crept across my face, even if I'd wanted to. I leaned against the doorframe in adoration, marvelling at the beautiful scene that was unfolding around me. Maura had obviously been braiding Rosa's hair and was now belting out 'Part of Your World' into the hairbrush. Rosa was loving every minute of it and she giggled happily as she ate her cereal. Never had I ever pictured the poised and professional Maura Isles singing along to Disney songs in her kitchen. I am in awe of her; she is indescribable and she just has so many layers. Over the years, I've known Dr Isles, chief medical examiner, Maura Isles, google-mouth, Maura Isles, fashionista, Maura Isles, badass, and Maur, my partner in crime. Today I got reacquainted with Maura, Rosa's mom. It's funny to think back to the months before Rosa was born, when Maura was so afraid that she'd screw her kid up and that she'd be a bad mother. That Maura couldn't have been more wrong, she was always destined to become the fantastic mother she is today. To say she is a damn good mother is an understatement. She's the best.

Following Maura's big finale, I gave her a round of applause and Rosa joined in. Up until that moment, Maura had been completely unaware of my presence.

"Good morning songbird!" I chirped.

"Hey, you're up! We were just having a little karaoke session, weren't we Rosa?"

And then she smiled. Her eyes twinkled and lit up, her dimples popped, and the moment came to life. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"So I heard! The hairbrush was a nice touch, by the way." I winked, causing Maura to blush.

"What would you like for breakfast? We have cereal, or pastries… Or I could make you something else if you like."

"Wow! Breakfast and a floor show! You sure know how to treat a girl!"

I walked towards the counter to get a better look at the pastries that were up for grabs. It was almost as if I'd walked into a little French bakery.

"Wow, Maura. These look amazing! What are they?"

"Here we have pains au chocolat –"

"No way! The plural of pain au chocolat is pains au chocolat? That doesn't even sound like English!"

"That's because it's French, Jane."

"You know what I mean, Maura! Words should sound right to be right!"

"It does sound right, Jane."

"Not to me it doesn't! Next you're gonna tell me that the plural of fro-yo is fros-yo!"

"No, that would be ridiculous."

She paused for a moment and furrowed her brow.

"You were being sarcastic, weren't you?"

"Very." I smirked.

She shook her head and let out a small chuckle.

"Can I tell you what the other pastries are now?"

"Do they have funny names?"

"No, I don't believe so."

"Sure, knock yourself out!"

"Okay, so these are raspberry and almond twists, the round ones are apricot and pistachio danishes, and finally we have chocolate and hazelnut bearclaws. I wasn't sure what you'd be in the mood for, so I thought I would bake a selection of pastries."

"Wait a minute! You made all of these yourself? This morning?!"

"Yes." She stated as if it was obvious.

"I can't believe you did all this." I muttered, my voice filled with awe.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, I'm surprised. Thank you, Maura. You really didn't have to do all this for me."

"I know… but I wanted to." She beamed.

"How did I get so lucky?" I whispered in Maura's ear.

"Beats me." She joked and I playfully slapped her arm.

I grabbed a bearclaw and we made our way to join Rosa at the dining table.

"What's your day like?" I asked Maura as we sat down.

"Mostly just playing. Oh and I have to go to school soon." Rosa answered happily, still eating her cereal.

Maura and I just looked at each other and laughed. She really does have the most beautiful laugh.

"Hopefully my day won't be too bad either. I just hope that this is a fairly open-and-shut case." She sighed sadly.

I didn't mean for the atmosphere to change so quickly, so I resorted to telling some jokes to cheer Maura up. It worked, just like old times. The TV was on in the background but neither of us paid attention to it, we were too busy enjoying the food and each other's company. Rosa, however, was now glued to the news on the TV.

"Mommy, look! It's Jamie! He's on the TV!" Rosa yelled.

Maura and I both looked at the television and we were horrified to see a photo of a little boy with sandy blonde hair and a freckled face, with the caption 'MISSING'. I looked at Maura as if to ask if Rosa was right, to clarify that this boy was in fact Jamie. She swallowed hard and nodded.

"Mommy? What does missing mean?" Rosa asked.

Maura's face fell and a look of panic swept across her features. I wouldn't know what to say, I mean, how do you tell a four-year-old that the little boy in her class, who she desperately wants to be her friend, has been abducted? As Maura began to explain what was happening, my phone rang.

"Rizzoli." I answered.

Korsak asked me to come back to work early and began to fill me in on the case. He explained that Jamie's disappearance was more than likely to be linked to the little boy whose body had been found yesterday. They were both around the same age and lived on the same street. I clung to the hope that these were just horrible coincidences… That is until Korsak informed me that the boys disappeared at the same time. Apparently they were playing together.

"Sure, I'll be right there." I stated before hanging up.

I looked at Maura and saw that she was clearly struggling with Rosa. I knelt down and tried to reassure Rosa the only way I knew how.

"Hey buddy, I know it's scary but I'm gonna go to work now and I will do everything I can to bring Jamie home."

Rosa tearfully nodded her head and Maura mouthed 'thank you' to me. I got up and kissed Maura's cheek. I hated leaving her like this, but a kid was missing and we were racing against the clock.

"I'll see you at work."

* * *

"Listen up everyone! This is Detective Jane Rizzoli. She left homicide a few years ago to become an agent in DC but she's back now and she's going to be working with us again. She's damn good at her job and she will be an asset to our team."

Korsak introduced me to everyone in the crowded bullpen and guided me towards a grumpy looking man who was sitting at my old desk.

"Jane, this is Detective Mark Gilford. He will be your new partner, so let him know if you need anything and he will be more than happy to help… Right Mark?"

Korsak shoved the man's shoulder, forcing him to look up at me.

"Yes Lieutenant." He grunted.

Korsak scowled at him as he walked back into his office.

"You don't like me. You don't know me, but you don't like me. A five-year-old kid is dead and his four-year-old friend is still missing, so can we please move past whatever _this _is and work together?"

"Fine."

"Great. What have we got?"

"Daniel Williams, five years old. James Bennett, four years old." He motioned to photographs of the boys. "The pair were last seen riding their bikes around the cul-de-sac at approximately 5:30pm on Wednesday 15th June. James' ten-year-old brother, Luke Bennett, was supposed to be watching them, however, he left the boys playing to go to a friend's house, which was just across the street. He said that he didn't notice anything suspicious before he left and that the boys knew they had to be home for dinner by 6:30pm. Luke left his friend's house at 6:20pm and found the boys' bikes unattended. He assumed that they must have already gone inside but this was not the case, so he alerted his mother."

I listened intently to what Detective Gilford was saying and tried to wrap my head around it all.

"Officers canvased the area and local residents started a search party for the boys, looking in nearby parks and other areas where the boys liked to hang out. There was no sign of either boy until approximately 10am on Thursday morning when a dog walker stumbled upon Daniel's body. He had a plastic bag placed over his head, tied around the throat with duct tape, his hands and feet were bound with cable ties. His body was dumped in the wetlands near Mary Cummings Park. Time of death was estimated to be somewhere between 1am and 2am. It was clear that he was beaten leading up to his death, however, cause of death was determined as suffocation."

"So, let me get this straight. Two boys were abducted from a cul-de-sac, in broad daylight and yet nobody saw anything?"

"It sure seems that way. Officers talked to all of the neighbours yesterday and they all have solid alibis."

"Shit."

This seemed hopeless. So far, there was no evidence, no suspect, one body, and a missing four-year-old.

"We have, however, identified one person of interest. Damian Moore. He is a 34-year-old electrician and he was installing a new electrical wiring system for Mrs Carter, a little old lady who lives at the end of the cul-de-sac. She said that Moore left her house at approximately 6pm, possibly making him the last person to see the boys before they were abducted."

"Well then, let's go and pay Damian Moore a visit." I stated as I grabbed my jacket and keys.

"You've only been here five minutes and you're already calling the shots!" Gilford barked.

* * *

"You couldn't have let me drive, could you?" Gilford protested.

"What difference does it make? It's not like I crashed the car and killed us both!" I retorted.

Gilford just huffed in response. This douche was seriously killing my patience and I'd just about had enough.

"Seriously, what the hell is your problem with me?"

"I just don't like people like you."

"What is that supposed to mean? You don't even know me!"

"You became an agent for god's sake and you couldn't handle the heat! And now, you just wanna be a big fish in a little pond again, but guess what… This ain't your pond anymore!"

I was a little taken aback by Gilford's perception of me. He'd barely given me enough time to make a first impression before getting on my case. This partnership really wasn't working out for me. I tried to muster up every ounce of professionalism I could find and knocked on the door. A young woman answered timidly. Her appearance was tidy, but she seemed meagre and meek.

"Hello, I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli and this is my colleague, Detective Mark Gilford. Do you happen to know a Mr Damian Moore?" I asked politely.

"Yeah, he's my boyfriend." She mumbled quietly.

"Would it be possible for us to speak with him ma'am?" Gilford's harsh tone was a stark contrast to that of the mouse-like woman.

"Yeah, sure. Come in. I'll go get him."

We made our way into the living room and waited on the couch. It was a relatively small room and it was scarcely furnished. I noticed that there was a book lying on the coffee table, titled 'Get into Teaching.' I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right but I just didn't know what… Or more importantly, how to prove it.

"He'll be down in a minute." The woman said as she sat down in the chair in the corner of the room.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." I declared.

"I'm Ellen Jones." She replied.

"It's nice to meet you, Ellen. I couldn't help but notice that you're interested in becoming a teacher." I informed as I gestured towards the book.

"Yes, I'm currently a teaching assistant at Boston Cambridge Academy, but I'd like to do more."

Boston Cambridge Academy – that's Rosa and Jamie's school. I tried to build up a rapport with her while we waited for Moore.

"We are currently investigating the disappearance of James Bennett and the murder of his friend, Daniel Williams. I'm sure you must have heard about it on the news."

"Yes. It was so sad." She stated.

"Do you know James Bennett? He's a pupil at your school."

"Yes, he was in my class. He was a sweet boy. He could be a bit of a handful sometimes but most of the time, he was a good kid." She explained.

I couldn't help but notice Ellen's use of the past tense. Jamie is missing, his body hasn't been found yet and for all we know, he is still alive. So why was she using the past tense?

"Detectives, what can I do for you?" Moore asked cheerfully as he entered the room.

He was rather short, no taller than 5ft7, and he was scruffily dressed. He was wearing a polo-shirt, with his own company's logo on it. It matched the logo on the white van outside. He certainly had the means to abduct the boys… I mean, the van would have been perfect. But what was the motive?

"Hello Mr Moore, I'm Detective Gilford. I work for Boston PD's homicide unit. We are looking into the disappearance of James Bennett and the murder of Daniel Williams. We have been told that you were doing some work for a Mrs Carter at this time."

I watched Moore like a hawk. His whole demeanour was very calm and collected. He didn't seem shifty or guilty, but he didn't seem at all shaken up about the fact that two little boys had gone missing and now one of them was dead. Any normal, innocent, person would have shown some sympathy towards the victims. Moore didn't. He said all the right things but I got the sense that he was being very disingenuous.

"The boys came over to talk to me. One of them said that he wanted to be an electrician when he grew up. He said he wanted his own van!"

"So it's possible that you were the last person to speak to the boys before the abduction?" Gilford inquired.

"Yeah, that's what it seems like." Moore replied.

"Mr Moore, where were you on the evening of Wednesday 15th June?"

"I left Mrs Carter's house just after 6pm, then I went straight home and had an early night."

"Can anyone verify that for you?" I asked sharply.

"Yes, Ellen was with me the whole time. Weren't you, babe?" He mentioned cockily.

Ellen just nodded quickly. She seemed even more nervous than before.

"Thank you for your help." Gilford offered his hand for Moore to shake.

"Hey, detectives… It's an absolute mystery what happened to those boys. Please let me know if I can help at all. You know, while there's still no news about James, there's still a glimmer of hope. Basically, that's what I'm hanging on to." He clenched his fist and placed it over his heart.

I could not believe how full of crap this guy was. Something was very, very wrong here and I wasn't going to stop until I found out what that was.

"Thank you, we'll be in touch." Gilford stated as we left the property.

"Please tell me you don't think he's innocent!" I begged.

"I don't. But I can't prove he's guilty either."

* * *

I decided to let Gilford drive back to the precinct. Whether we liked it or not (and it was very clear that we both disliked it), we were going to have to work together and if things carried on the way they were, that would become impossible. I brought up the fact that Ellen used the past tense when she spoke about Jamie, and he agreed that it was suspicious. But we were going to need a hell of a lot more than suspicions if we were going to stand a chance of catching this guy.

When we got back to the precinct, Maura was waiting for me with a cup of coffee. She was like my beacon of light and I really hoped that she'd have something good for me.

"I analysed the duct tape and was able to lift a print. I ran it through the system but there weren't any matches. Upon closer inspection of the tape, I realised that it wasn't duct tape at all. It was grey insulation tape. It's a type of pressure-sensitive tape used to insulate electrical wires and other materials that conduct electricity." She informed as she handed me the coffee.

"So what you're saying is that this tape is likely to belong to an electrician?"

"Jane, you know I don't like to guess –"

"Come on, Maur, please! A kid is missing, can't you make an exception… just this once!"

"It's never 'just this once' with you Jane." She sighed. "Yes, it could belong to an electrician, however, there are many other non-electrical applications. In Pakistan and India, insulation tape is very commonly used to wrap a tennis ball for purposes of playing backyard cricket. The insulation tape provides a smooth surface which causes the tennis ball to grip a concrete surface less, makes the ball harder to hit, and causes it to bounce less. These properties make the ball behave more like a leather cricket ball, yet still being substantially cheaper and less dangerous."

"But we aren't in Pakistan or India, so I think we can rule that one out! Thanks Maura, I owe you one." I winked.

"Hey Rizzoli! I just used a stingray to narrow down Ellen's phone location on the night of the abduction. I wanted to see if she really was with Moore. According to the information from US Cellular, her phone's provider, she and her phone were in Warwick, Rhode Island! It was a false alibi! She wasn't even in Massachusetts on the night the boys were abducted, so she definitely couldn't have been with Moore the whole time!" Gilford explained enthusiastically as he strolled towards me.

"Great work, Gilford." I commended him and I patted him on the back.

"Thanks Rizzoli." He beamed.

"So, what should we do now?" I asked.

I knew that we had probable cause, however, after our difficulties this morning, I wanted to let Gilford take the lead. He was so pissed that I was calling the shots, so I felt it was best for me to take a backseat this time.

"I think it's time we paid Moore and Jones another visit!"

* * *

When we arrived at the house, Gilford headed straight towards the front door.

"Gilford, wait!" I whispered.

"What is it, Rizzoli?"

"I don't know yet, but something doesn't feel right."

I felt very uneasy. I had visited crime scenes and spoken to murderers before, but something felt different this time. I had this awful feeling that something bad was about to happen. Evil was lurking right around the corner, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. I decided to approach the window with caution. I wanted to catch a glance before actually entering the property so that I would know what I was walking into. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest as I peered through the blinds. Through the gaps, I could make out that Moore was sitting in an armchair, he had his back to the window and he was staring at a figure lying in the middle of his living room. I immediately radioed for back-up.

"Gilford, we need to get in there… Right now! He has someone in there with him. They're not moving."

I tried the door.

"It's locked."

"Out of my way, Rizzoli!"

Without a moment's hesitation, Gilford charged past me and punched through the window on the door. The glass shattered into thousands of tiny pieces.

"Thank god for single glazing!" He muttered as he poked his arm through to unlock the door.

He pulled out his gun and I followed suit. As we slowly walked through the hallway, it was possible to hear a faint rustling sound coming from the living room. Gilford went into a crouch and sped towards the sound. I increased my speed but I stayed behind Gilford and close to the walls.

"Ellen! Can you hear me?" Gilford shouted.

No answer.

I peered round the doorframe and saw Gilford kneeling on the floor next to a lifeless Ellen. She had a clear plastic bag over her head and it was secured around her neck using the grey insulation tape, and her hands and feet were bound using cable ties. Same M.O.

Before I could do anything, Moore leapt out from the corner of the room and pulled a bag over Gilford's head. My heart was pounding as the adrenaline kicked in. I bolted into the living room and struck Moore on the back of the head with the butt of my gun. He hit the ground with an almighty thud. Suddenly, it felt like everything was in slow-motion. I seized the opportunity to cuff Moore while he was unconscious. Gilford pulled the bag off his head in one swift movement and caught his breath.

"Gilford? Are you okay?" I called out.

"Never better." He panted.

I ran over to check on Ellen. There wasn't enough time to peel off the tape and remove the bag, so I quickly tore the bag apart.

"You're okay, Ellen. Please, just breathe!"

No response.

I could hear Maura's voice in my head, instructing me to carry out the head tilt chin lift manoeuvre. I placed one hand on her forehead and two fingers under her chin. I gently tilted her head back and lifted her chin up. She felt cold to the touch and I couldn't find a pulse, but I began performing CPR anyway. I gave two initial rescue breaths and started chest compressions.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive."

I kept singing over and over again as I carried out the chest compressions and rescue breaths. I kept hoping that I could get her back and that she'd miraculously start breathing again, but as the minutes went by, I began to lose faith.

"She's gone, Jane. She's gone." Gilford gently placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

I stopped chest compressions and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. A sea of officers swept through the house and removed Moore from the scene. They also collected the new evidence including the insulation tape and plastic bags. I watched the hustle and bustle around me. I watched on helplessly as Ellen's body was taken out in a black body bag. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I saw it. Another body bag. It felt like a nightmare.

* * *

"Hey, are you okay?" Gilford asked, his voice heavy with concern.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" I smiled sadly.

Gilford shrugged his shoulders and took a seat next to me. It was strange, Gilford was still the same man he was this morning, but it seemed like he had gone through metamorphosis or something. His features seemed softer, and his eyes less hostile.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"I was just thinking about the case, about Moore, and the victims. I can't believe Moore ended up killing three people, all because a five-year-old kid thought it would be funny to key his van. I don't understand how someone just can flip out like that. It was such a minor thing and now three people are paying the ultimate price for it."

"You can keep turning yourself inside out trying to find the answers, Rizzoli. But you can't find what isn't there. Moore is nothing but a sick bastard… I don't think we'll ever understand why he did what he did." Gilford explained.

Apparently, as Moore was leaving Mrs Carter's house, he noticed that Daniel had just scraped his keys along the van door, leaving a few long, deep scratches and chips in the paint. He angrily confronted Daniel and according to Moore, the boys just sniggered. He claimed that he saw red and pulled out a plastic bag from his pocket. He wanted to teach the boys a lesson, so he threw them both into his van and locked the door. He forced the bag over Daniel's head, taped it around his neck, and bound his hands and feet. He then bound and gagged Jamie. He watched as Daniel squirmed and slowly suffocated. He said that he never meant to kill the boy, he just wanted to spook him, but accidentally took it too far. In a panic, he dumped Daniel's body in the wetlands, thinking that the water would wash off any possible traces of his DNA. Meanwhile, Jamie was still in the back of his van. He said he took the boy home because he didn't want to kill him, but he had to figure out a plan. He couldn't just let the boy go; Jamie had seen too much. He kept the boy in his basement for a few hours. Apparently, he tried to strike a deal with the boy – if Moore let him go, he wasn't allowed to tell anyone what happened or who took him. When he removed the insulation tape from Jamie's mouth, the boy started screaming and wouldn't stop. Moore didn't trust him to keep his mouth shut, so he killed Jamie too. What he said next will forever haunt me. He said "I didn't expect to enjoy it so much, it just made me feel so – so alive and powerful. It was an existential experience." He didn't show a hint of remorse and behind his eyes there was nothing but satisfaction. When asked about why he killed Ellen, his whole demeanour changed. His only response was "I am genuinely sorry about that. I didn't want to kill her, but she said that she'd go to the police if I didn't come clean… There was no way I was going to do that, so she had to die too."

I was thankful that Moore's crimes weren't premeditated, that he wasn't very smart and that we caught a few lucky breaks in this case. If things had been different, we might not have caught him and it definitely wouldn't have been possible to solve the case so quickly. Nothing would bring Daniel, or Jamie, or Ellen back, but at least we could bring their killer to justice. Not just for them, but also for their families.

I took out my wallet and pulled out a photograph of baby Rosa. I had kept it in my wallet all this time, along with a photo of me and Maura. I wanted to keep them both close to me, no matter where I was or what I was doing.

"Cute baby." Gilford stated as he nosily looked over my shoulder at the photograph.

"She's four now, still incredibly cute though. She calls me Aunt Jane and makes me feel like I'm the coolest person in the world. I'm not used to this, being scared like this. I only ever had to worry about myself and now – now I keep thinking what if it happened to Rosa? What if I couldn't protect her? I wouldn't be able to live without her and she isn't even my kid." I explained as I choked back a sob.

"I get it. She's family. I have nephews and trust me, they drive me crazy sometimes, but I love 'em to death. It's scary to think about all the awful the things that could happen to them."

I nodded softly in complete understanding of what Gilford was saying.

"Hey Rizzoli? I'm sorry. I was wrong about you. I let my jealousy get the better of me and I treated you unfairly."

"It's okay. We got off on the wrong foot. I'm over it, are you over it?"

He nodded sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

"Good. Nice work today, Gilford. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Thanks for helping me, even though I was being an asshole."

I smiled and watched as Gilford collected his belongings to go home. I decided make a start on my paperwork. I just wanted this case to be over so that I never had to think about it again.

About twenty minutes later, I saw a family of three walk into the bullpen. Korsak came over to greet them and ushered the parents into his office, leaving the little boy alone. I knew that this boy was Jamie's brother. He had the same sandy blonde hair, big brown eyes, and freckles dotted across his nose. I slowly approached Luke. He was sitting in a chair. It was a regular-sized chair but his tiny frame made it look like it was fit for a giant. His eyes were red and puffy and he kept fidgeting. I crouched down and met his gaze.

"Hey." I whispered, unsure of what to say to him.

"Jamie's dead, isn't he?" Luke asked, his lower lip trembling.

I didn't know what to say to him. I wasn't sure if it was my place to tell him, however, I couldn't lie to him either. He was going to find out anyway and I didn't want to give him false hope.

"Yeah buddy, he's gone. I'm so sorry."

"It's my fault, isn't it? I should have been watching him –" He sobbed uncontrollably.

I shook my head and sighed. There were no words that could take away this innocent little boy's pain or guilt. He was ten years old, he should not have to live the rest of his life feeling responsible for what happened to his little brother. I took his tiny hands in mine and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"Hey. It is _not _your fault, you hear me? There was nothing you could have done to protect Jamie. The man who killed him, that's who is responsible for all this. It is not your fault, Luke. Nobody blames you for what happened. I know that, but you have to know it too."

I felt my eyes begin to tear up as I watched the little boy break down in front of me. His tears were full of agony, with a hint of relief. Luke's parents re-emerged from Korsak's office and his mom came to stand beside me. I slowly let go of Luke's hands and slipped out of the way, allowing her room to hold her son.

"Luke, honey. It's time to go."

She ruffled his hair and took him by the hand.

"Thank you, Detective Rizzoli." She whispered as she walked away and I offered her a gentle nod in acknowledgment.

I stood there for a moment. Completely overwhelmed by all my feelings. Today had been a hell of a long day. I moved towards the door and found Maura there waiting for me. We left the building and walked towards my car in silence. Maura was close enough for me to feel the heat radiating from her body, but it still felt like there were miles and miles between us. I was barely holding it together by the time we reached my car.

"You saved that boy today, Jane."

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at Maura. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"What are you talking about, Maur? Jamie's dead. We were too late." My voice cracked and my eyes began to sting again.

"No, not Jamie. I meant Luke. I saw what you did for him, and I heard what you said. You saved him."

"I'm not a hero, Maur. I didn't save anyone."

It was the truth. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save Ellen. I tried and I failed.

"You're my hero Jane, and I'm pretty sure you're somebody else's too." Maura rummaged through her purse and pulled out a few pieces of paper.

"I asked your mom to watch Rosa tonight, she's staying with her at my house. When I went home to check on them, Rosa gave me these and I wanted you to have them." Maura explained softly as she forced the paper into my hands.

It was dark outside but I was still able to make out Rosa's drawings. The first one was of me doing the superman pose, wearing my own long, red cape. The second was of me, Rosa, and Maura, all holding hands. The third and final drawing was of me hugging Rosa, surrounded by lots of red love hearts.

I finally cracked. I allowed my walls to cave and crumble around me.

"Hey, it's okay, Jane. Talk to me. I'm right here."

"I don't know how you do it, Maur." I sobbed.

"Do what?"

Her eyes were deep, and solemn, and searching.

"Love Rosa like this. I just- I really, really love her."

"I know and she loves you too. She loves you so much, Jane."

"I have this searing pain in my heart. It feels like – like I would die if anything happened to her. What if something happens to her? She's just so vulnerable and little and – and – I don't know how you live like this."

Maura had been fighting back the urge to hug me for a while, I could feel it, but she finally gave in. She wrapped her strong arms around me with such urgency and I felt unbelievably safe within her embrace.

"I know. I mean, you saw me fall apart just last night. It's torture, but you can't dwell on that. Sometimes it feels impossible but you have to set aside all of those fears and remind yourself that Rosa is safe and she is loved."

"She's the most loved kid in the world." I added.

"Yes she is, and she is very lucky to have her strong and brave Aunt Jane looking out for her." She stated firmly.

"I don't feel very strong or brave right now, Maur. I'm terrified." I quivered.

"You are the strongest person I have ever met, Jane. And just because you are afraid, it certainly doesn't mean you aren't brave. Nelson Mandela once said that 'the brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear' and you conquer your fears every day. That is true bravery, Jane."

I reluctantly broke away from Maura's embrace and smiled appreciatively.

"It's getting late –"

"Or early, depending on your point of view." Maura interjected, causing me to chuckle slightly.

"Let's go home now." I sniffled.

Home. I liked the sound of that. It felt a little funny to refer to Maura's house as 'home', but at the same time, it was oddly satisfying. A home is where the heart is meant to be, and my heart was always with Maura.

* * *

**A.N. Okay, so I know that there are probably going to be a few issues with the details of the case, there will inevitably be plot holes and it may seem unrealistic (especially as it was solved so quickly), so I can only apologise for this... I am not a crime writer, nor am I a criminal mastermind! I also suspect that some of you may be disappointed that there wasn't a plot twist; I honestly thought about putting one in but I decided against it because I did not want this to be an ongoing investigation... I wanted to further the relationship between Jane and Maura, and introduce the idea of them telling people in the next chapter, so I really wanted to resolve this case before all of that. I would also like to apologise for any mistakes - this was a really long chapter and I'm not very good at spotting my own mistakes anyway!**


	13. The Middle: Part Nine

Jane and I were sitting at the kitchen counter. She was slumped over it as if she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She had one arm draped across her body and the other outstretched so that she could reach the salt shaker. She tapped it lightly against the countertop to the beat of a metronome. The sound was almost comforting in comparison to the deafening silence. I felt the urge to say something but there wasn't anything I could say to improve the situation. If there was, I know that I would have been saying it. Each second lingered, and it became impossible to tell how long we had been sitting there like this for.

"Good morning, girls." Angela saluted as she emerged from the guest room.

Her warm greeting startled me out of my thoughts.

"Good morning, Angela." I replied softly and smiled sadly.

"Morning, ma."

Angela intuitively picked up on the dark and heavy atmosphere, her smile fading as the severity of the situation dawned on her.

"Couldn't you find the little boy? I'm sure he'll turn up soon –"

"No, ma. We found him, but we were too late." Jane explained, her husky voice laden with sadness.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Angela uttered as she rushed over to Jane's side.

She placed a quick kiss on Jane's right cheek. Although it was brief, it was full of love, and kindness, and understanding. Angela put her arm around Jane, allowing her hand to settle on Jane's shoulder. She also planted a kiss into Jane's hair. The moment was devastatingly beautiful. I felt a stray tear trickle down my cheek and I quickly brushed it away before anyone else noticed.

"Thanks ma." Jane muttered as she placed her hand over Angela's.

"His poor family. I can't imagine what they must be going through. A parent should never have to bury their child. That's not how it's supposed to be." She shook her head in disbelief.

I nodded my head in complete understanding. It was such an awful situation, one that no parent ever expects to find themselves in.

"Rosa is going to be so upset. She spent all evening making him a welcome home card. Does she know yet?" Angela asked apprehensively.

I shook my head and felt the sadness sweep over me again. I pursed my lips together to trap the sob that was choking my throat. I looked down at my hands and watched on helplessly as they continued to fidget. It was a very surreal feeling, almost dreamlike. None of it felt real, but it was real. This nightmare was real and the reality of what that meant began to sink in. I had to somehow find a way to explain all of this to Rosa.

"What am I going to tell her?" I asked, my voice trembled and the desperation echoed.

"I'll do it." Jane stated despondently.

"No. I'm her mom, I should do it."

Jane slipped her warm hand into mine, causing my fidgeting to cease. I looked up at her and she gave my hand a gentle squeeze in return.

"Maura, you don't have to do it alone anymore. I'm here now, we should do it together."

The weight of Jane's words hit me like a ton of bricks and left me feeling supported, and loved, and incredibly fortunate. It was unbelievably comforting to know that I no longer needed to travel through life's trials and tribulations alone anymore. Jane was my partner, my lighthouse, guiding me through the darkness and despair. I gave her a grateful yet watery smile and we ascended to Rosa's bedroom. Together.

Rosa was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bed, flicking through her picture book. It is moments like these that remind me just how little she is. All the clichés about how fast children grow are true, and emotionally, Rosa is very mature for her age. It is easy to forget sometimes that she is only four years old. I looked to Jane and she gently nodded her head, encouraging me to approach Rosa.

"Rosa, can we talk to you for a minute?" I asked hesitantly.

"Not if I'm in trouble." She answered sweetly.

"You're not in trouble, sweetie."

My voice cracked and I desperately tried to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"What's wrong, mommy?"

I looked over at Jane, her expression mirrored my own, and I shook my head as my tears stubbornly streamed down my cheeks. She furrowed her brow and seemingly heard my unspoken cry for help.

"It's about Jamie, buddy." She began, her inner-strength shining through.

I gravitated towards Rosa and climbed onto her bed, settling on my side and curling myself around her.

"Is he home already?" She asked, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

My heart went out to her, and the pain was crippling because unlike Rosa, I knew the heartbreak that was due to follow.

"No, buddy. Jamie's gone." Jane replied gently as she perched on the other side of Rosa's bed.

"I know, he's missing. But you said you would bring him home." Rosa frowned, confusion lacing her delicate features.

"When we found Jamie, his body had already stopped working and he's gone now. He's gone to heaven, okay? You're not gonna be able to see him anymore." Jane explained lovingly as her voice began to falter.

"What about at school? Is he not going to be able to play with me anymore?" Rosa asked desolately as she turned towards me again.

I gently placed my hand on her back and began to trace soft and soothing patterns.

"Rosa, he died, sweetie. He can't play with you anymore. And mommy and Aunt Jane are very sad about what happened, so it's okay if you're sad too. I know that you're really going to miss him."

"What about his welcome home card? I haven't finished it yet."

Rosa jumped up and I tried to embrace her, however, she was just too nimble. She slipped away and drifted towards the door.

"Rosa, sweetie, listen to me –" I called after her.

Rosa stopped just before the door and turned to look back at me.

"I have to finish it, mommy. He's going to like it, you'll see." She stated resolutely.

I let out a long sigh that was drawn sorrowfully from the bottom of my gut. I dabbed away the traces of my tears and Jane pulled me into her arms.

"It's going to be okay, Maura. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but just give it time." Jane soothed as she kissed my cheek tenderly. I nestled into Jane's embrace and tried to savour every moment.

* * *

Jane and Angela left for work a short while later. Jane offered to stay with me, however, I know first-hand how important her work is and I didn't want to keep her from it. Rosa sat at the dining table and decorated her card for Jamie. She furrowed her brow and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth in concentration as she coloured furiously.

"Mommy, I've finished! Do you like it?" She exclaimed.

"Wow! I love it, Rosa. You did a really good job." I smiled.

"Can we give it to Jamie now? Please, mommy?!" She begged.

I thought for a moment, unsure of how best to proceed. As I carefully considered my options, an idea popped into my head.

"We can send it to him later, but I need you to help me with something first!"

"What is it, mommy?"

"I was thinking we'd make your nanny Angela's special lasagne to take over to Jamie's family. What do you say?"

"Okay mommy, but why is it special?" She asked sceptically.

"It's a special family recipe that specifically calls for a beautiful four-year-old girl named Rosa to help make it!" I explained, playfully tapping her on the nose.

Rosa giggled. Her laugh is such a sweet sound that I will never tire of hearing.

"Really?!" She asked excitedly.

"Uh-huh! Now, the secret is to make the pasta yourself. It doesn't taste nearly as good if you buy it from the store." I whispered.

"Wow!" She exclaimed, her voice full of amazement.

We got straight to work, and it was a messy but rewarding experience. I love cooking with Rosa because we get to spend quality time together and it is a skill that will be useful to her in the future. I also find that cooking helps me to relax and de-stress. Once the lasagne had cooked and cooled, I carefully placed it into a Tupperware container.

"Ooh you have been such a good little helper! Are you ready to go, sweetie?"

"Almost, mommy. I just need to put my shoes on." Rosa smiled as she jumped down from the counter.

I picked up her card for Jamie and slipped it into my purse.

"Mommy, I'm ready!" Rosa called out to me in a sing-song voice.

"Okay then, let's go!"

* * *

I parked the car outside the Bennett family home. It was situated in such a lovely cul-de-sac. With the beautiful flowers and perfectly landscaped gardens, it was hard to believe that something so awful happened here. I climbed out of the car and helped Rosa out of her car seat. I held her hand tightly as we approached the house. It was very picturesque and the garden was surrounded by a white picket fence and everything. There was a swingset in the garden and a little boy was gently swinging on one swing, while the other swing remained completely still.

"Look, mommy! There's a boy who looks just like Jamie, only bigger!" Rosa pointed.

"That's his big brother, Luke. Why don't you go and say hello? He could probably use a friend right now." I suggested.

Rosa nodded her head, let go of my hand, and went to join Luke on the swingset. I slowly approached the front door and knocked gently.

Jamie's mom answered the door and her expression suggested that she was shocked to see me. We had only met each other once before, so it was quite possible that she didn't remember me, and I didn't really want to remind her of the circumstances of our last conversation. She was grieving the loss of her son; it would be completely unnecessary to remind her that we only met because her son was teasing my daughter.

"Hello Catherine, I'm not sure if you remember me but I'm Maura Isles."

"I remember you." The corners of her lips curled upwards, displaying a slight hint of a smile.

"Rosa and I just wanted to drop off some homemade lasagne. It's my friend Angela's famous recipe. I'm so sorry for your loss."

I handed her the tub of lasagne and she set it down on a table beside the door.

"Thank you."

I nodded in acknowledgement and offered her a warm smile.

"It's so nice to see him smiling again." She gestured towards Luke and Rosa.

I watched for a moment as the pair chattered and giggled. It appeared that they were in competition with each other, trying to see who could swing the highest.

"It's remarkable how resilient children are. Anyway, we should be going. I also wanted to give you my number. Please don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything." I added as I handed Catherine a piece of paper with my phone number scribbled on it.

She gratefully accepted the piece of paper and immediately enveloped me in a tight hug. I wasn't used to hugging acquaintances, however, these were extraordinary circumstances. I tried not to be awkward and reciprocated the action.

"Thank you, Maura." She sighed as she broke away from my embrace.

"Take care, Catherine." I said politely.

"You too, goodbye Maura."

"Come on, sweetie. It's time to go now." I called out to Rosa.

"Okay, mommy." She replied as she jumped down from the swing.

Rosa slipped her tiny hand into mine and happily let our fingers entwine.

"Bye Luke!" She shouted as we began to leave.

"Bye Rosa." Luke smiled.

I opened the gate and let Rosa pass through it. I turned back towards Luke and Catherine, and mouthed 'bye', softly waving and smiling simultaneously.

"Mommy, where are we going now?" Rosa asked as I strapped her into her car seat once again.

"You'll have to wait and see!"

* * *

We stopped off at a party shop and I instructed Rosa to pick out a balloon. She chose a huge pink one. Rosa is obsessed with anything pink. She watched in awe as the shop assistant filled the balloon with helium. The woman handed Rosa the balloon and I told her to hold onto it tightly. After I paid, we got back in the car and headed to the next destination. Boston Common.

Rosa's eyes lit up as we arrived at the park.

"Okay, sweetie. I need you to make sure that you hold onto your balloon for just a few more minutes, okay?"

"Okay, mommy. It feels like it wants to fly away!"

I pulled out the card from my purse and rolled it up into a tube shape. I tied the string of the balloon around the tube as Rosa watched in confusion.

"What are you doing, mommy?"

"We're sending your card to Jamie. The regular mail won't reach him anymore, but maybe this will."

I knew that the card would never reach Jamie, but it was important that Rosa got to say goodbye. I hoped that this would help her to understand that Jamie was gone.

"Okay, sweetie. Let go when you're ready."

"Mommy? Aunt Jane said Jamie is in heaven now. Do you believe in heaven?"

"I'm not sure, Rosa."

"Why not?"

"Because it's impossible to know if it's real or not until we die."

"But that doesn't mean you can't believe in it, mommy. It just means you don't know the real answer yet."

"When did you become so smart?" I asked proudly.

"I don't know. I'm going to let go now." She smiled.

She released the balloon and we followed it with our eyes as it slowly drifted away.

"Look, mommy! It's going up and up and up!" Rosa squealed excitedly.

I knelt down and hugged Rosa tightly. I wished that I could know what she was thinking or feeling, but it wasn't possible. All I could do was hope that releasing the balloon taught her that you can't hold onto everything forever, and that sometimes we need to learn to let go. I also hoped that it would bring her some sort of closure on Jamie's death.

"He's free now, mommy." Rosa whispered dreamily.

"Yes he is, sweetie." I smiled.


	14. The Middle: Part Ten

**A.N. Thank you for sticking with it, and thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews – they really make my day and encourage me to keep writing. I never would have made it this far if it wasn't for all you lovely readers! This chapter is a filler chapter really; I hope it isn't too boring, I just needed to find a way to get this story where I wanted it to be! I have lots (and lots!) of ideas for future chapters but I have been struggling to actually turn them into something!**

**I also wanted to share with you a few songs I had in mind when writing this chapter, so I have written these in brackets before each relevant scene.**

* * *

_Maura. She's the first thing I think about every day. How is she? Does she miss me like I miss her? If I went home, would she be happy to see me? Would she ever forgive me? And then, another day without her begins. Another crappy day in another crappy life._

* * *

**(All About Your Heart – Mindy Gledhill)**

Waking up next to Maura was like a dream. I admired the sleeping woman lying next to me. I studied her face, her serenity as she slept. Her honey blonde hair fanned out across the pillow, her flawless skin practically glowed, and a delicate smile flitted across her lips.

'God, my girl is beautiful. Inside and out.' I thought to myself, totally and completely entranced.

I wanted to place a soft and tender kiss upon her slightly parted lips, but at the same time, I didn't want to wake her. Instead, I let my eyes trail down to her camisole-clad chest, and watched as she breathed. My gaze drifted to her exposed shoulder; it was speckled with light freckles and I also noticed that tiny goosebumps covered her skin. I gently tugged the duvet upwards and draped it over Maura's shoulders. I couldn't resist the urge to press a soft kiss against her shoulder. Her skin felt so soft and warm against my lips. I draped my arm protectively over waist and sighed contently. I loved feeling this close to Maura. I loved the way her warm skin felt against my own, how safe I felt within her embrace, and how calm I felt just listening to her breathing. I loved everything about being with her.

I felt Maura stir and she mumbled as she slowly gained consciousness. I smiled as I pressed a light kiss against the corner of her mouth.

"Good morning sleepyhead."

Maura turned her head to look at me and smiled sleepily.

"Mmm, good morning." She yawned daintily.

I placed another kiss over her pulse point and nuzzled into her neck. Maura turned onto her side to face me and I felt myself get lost in her eyes. They glimmered in the morning sunlight and the golden flecks appeared to dance. She wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I smiled as I felt her stroke her fingertips over my back. It was almost like she was tracing every detail, every line, every muscle, and every vertebrae of my spine. Maura smiled broadly and leaned in to kiss me. Her lips moved slowly against my own, and the kiss was passionate, sweet, and soft. Nobody had ever kissed me like that before.

"Wow." I sighed involuntarily.

Maura chuckled in response and raised one hand to cup my cheek. Her thumb circled my cheekbone, leaving a tingling sensation in its path. I felt the corners of my mouth curve upwards and watched as Maura's lips mimicked my own. The moment was so peaceful and beautiful and perfect.

Suddenly, the piercing sound of Maura's alarm filled the room. Maura brought both hands up to her face and rubbed her eyes. She growled as she rolled onto her back.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak bear!" I joked.

"I just wish we could stay here, like this, forever." She sighed.

"I know."

I scooted towards her again and kissed her cheek.

"Do you think Tommy and Lydia will notice if we're not there?"

"Jane! Lydia made me her maid of honour… I think she's going to notice when she's standing at the altar all by herself!" Maura huffed.

"She won't be all by herself, she'll have Tommy!"

Maura shook her head and chuckled again.

"How'd you get the gig anyway? Aren't you supposed to choose your best friend or something?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

I didn't realise that Maura and Lydia were so close. Sure, there was that one time when we went to her birthing class with her…

_"So, Lydia. What do you like to do?" I smiled politely._

_"Oh, you mean, like, hobbies? Well, I don't really have any." She replied simply._

_There was an uncomfortable silence after that. I guess this whole bonding thing was going to be harder than I thought._

_"Well, where do you like to go? The beach? The mountains?" Maura chimed in._

_Thank god she came with me… I couldn't bear the thought of taking Lydia to a Lamaze class by myself. Actually, come to think of it, I would never have taken Lydia to a birthing class. Period. This was Maura's idea! This was her fault!_

_"The mall! I like the one in Wrentham. No sales tax!" She chirped happily._

_Maura looked a little confused but nodded anyway._

_"Fine, let's pretend you're in Wrentham." She chuckled._

_"What am I doing?" Lydia asked, staring at Maura questioningly._

_Oh boy. I cleared my throat._

_"Lydia – um, have you thought about, you know, getting some tests done to figure out who the father is?" I asked gently and Maura smiled supportively._

_"No, it's not important."_

_"I mean, I think it's good to know." I added._

_"I don't."_

_Maura and I exchanged disapproving looks and turned to face the instructor._

_"Cool, I'm at the mall… I'm in Hotdog Haven." Lydia exhaled before laughing. "I love their outfits!"_

_"Yes!" Maura beamed. "Yes, the bright colourful ones with the hats like Cat in the Hat!" Maura gestured and chuckled._

_"Maura!" I stated sternly._

_"And now a contraction begins. Sit behind your partner and massage her back." The instructor softly and soothingly explained._

_Maura and I locked eyes. There was no way I'd be sitting behind Lydia and massaging her back! Lydia was either having my brother's baby, or my father's love child… She wasn't my responsibility! So, I frowned at Maura and gestured for her to do it! _

_Lydia glanced over at Maura and Maura smiled reluctantly before shuffling behind Lydia. I was so glad that Maura complied because it meant that I didn't have to do it!_

_"You know, um, after the baby is born, you could have a paternity test." I informed with a smile._

_"No." Lydia shook her head as Maura continued to work on her back._

_"I wanna do a water birth." She added dreamily._

_"Okay, listen to me. I don't want you telling my mother what you did. It could really hurt her, alright?" I responded harshly._

_Lydia turned back to look at Maura._

_"Can you massage me just a little bit lower?" She asked with a smile_

They did have to get pretty friendly with each other… I guess you could count that as a bonding experience! Oh, and Maura did help ma with the baby shower, and she did help Lydia when she was slipping into a diabetic coma. Who knows, maybe they got even closer while I was away… I mean, they don't have anything in common, but Maura has such a big heart and she is nice to everybody.

"Lydia doesn't really have any female friends." Maura explained.

"What a surprise!" I exclaimed sarcastically.

Maura frowned at me and shook her head.

"I should go and take a shower." She sighed.

"No! You don't wanna do that… You wanna stay here, with me!" I smirked devilishly before kissing her passionately.

It was impossible to ignore the electricity, the sparks that I felt every time I locked lips with Maura.

"I'm going to take a shower now." Maura beamed as she broke away from the kiss.

"Fine, I'll see you when you're done." I sighed miserably.

"Or you could join me. I could _really _use some company, if you don't mind." She added suggestively.

"If I don't mind?! Is the Pope Catholic?!" I joked, quickly jumping up and following Maura into the bathroom.

* * *

"Remind me again why we couldn't get dressed at your place?"

"Because our dresses would wrinkle in the car."

"Yeah, but now we have to get undressed and dressed again!" I complained.

"Yeah, mommy. I want to wear my dress now!" Rosa whined.

"See! She gets it!"

"Jane! She's four. Of course she wants to wear her pretty dress all day!"

Maura hopped out of the car and helped Rosa out of her car seat. She took Rosa by the hand and began to walk towards the church.

"I guess I'm carrying all our dresses then!" I huffed and Maura turned around to smirk at me.

As we entered the vestibule, I noticed that T.J. was pacing the floor. He was dressed in a black suit, white shirt, and bow tie. He looked very dapper and was clearly taking his responsibilities as ring bearer very seriously.

"Hey T.J.!" I called out as I dumped our dresses in Maura's arms.

"Aunt Jane!"

T.J. ran towards me and I wrapped my arms around him.

"Wow! Look at you! You look so handsome, little man." I exclaimed as I ruffled his hair.

"Thank you. I look like a penguin! Pretty neat, huh?" He beamed.

"Sure is, kiddo! Where's your mom?"

"She's in there." He pointed to one of the doors. "She's pimping herself and Nona's helping!" He added.

Maura and I exchanged glances.

"T.J., I _really_ hope you mean primping." Maura replied.

"Well, this is Lydia we're talking about!" I scoffed quietly, making sure that Maura was the only one to hear me.

"Thank you T.J." Maura smiled at T.J. before ushering me and Rosa into the next room.

Lydia looked flustered as Ma flapped around her. Ma was in her formal clothes, however, Lydia was sitting at the dressing table in her robe.

"Lydia, what's wrong?" Maura asked as she rushed to Lydia's side.

"What isn't wrong?! Everything is wrong!" She bawled.

"Oh honey, that's not true. You're marrying the man you love today, and sure, a few _little_ things aren't perfect, but that's just life."

Ma's attempts to soothe her were failing miserably.

"My dress has a huge rip in it and my mom's car broke down… Stupid hunk of junk! She might not even make it to the wedding! Those are hardly little things, Angela!" Lydia yelled as she batted ma's hands away.

"Jane? Can you please help Rosa get ready?" Maura asked politely before focusing her attention on Lydia.

"I'm sure your mother will be able to find a way to get here and as for your dress, I can fix that. By the time I've finished with it, you won't even be able to tell it was ripped." Maura explained calmly, placing her hand on Lydia's shoulder.

"Really? But you work with dead people! You're not a – a… whatever you call someone who makes dresses!"

"A seamstress and you're right, I don't make dresses for a living, but I have mastered the art of surgical suturing." Maura smiled.

Suddenly the atmosphere shifted and everyone seemed to relax. I took Rosa into the corner and unzipped the bag that was protecting her dress. The dress had a coral coloured skirt and a white bodice with fabric flowers sewn onto it. I could see why Rosa couldn't wait to wear it… I mean, it wasn't my kind of thing but it was definitely Rosa's! It was pink(ish) and flowery… What more could she want?! I turned away from Rosa as she got changed. I glanced over at Maura as she carefully stitched Lydia's dress. Her brow furrowed and she tugged her lower lip between her teeth as she concentrated. The subtle actions were so cute and endearing.

"Aunt Jane? Can you please do up my bow?" Rosa asked as she tapped me on the back.

"Sure, buddy." I smiled as I turned around to help her.

"All done, Princess Rosa!"

Rosa giggled and thanked me.

"Aunt Jane? Can I go and play with T.J. now? Please?" She begged.

"Sure, buddy. Just don't get lost, okay?"

Rosa nodded and happily skipped away. I put on my own dress and high heels. I'd chosen a mid-length, tight-fitting navy dress. It wasn't overly dressy but it looked nice enough.

"Janie, come over here and I'll do your hair!" Ma called over to me.

"I've already done my hair, ma." I sighed.

"Oh, well, then let me fix it for you!"

"Ma!"

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! It is your baby brother's wedding day… You want to look nice in the wedding photos, don't you?!"

"I guess." I huffed and folded my arms.

"Then get your ass over here so that I can fix that mane of yours!"

"Fine."

I heard Maura laughing, so I turned towards her.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but remember… You're next!" I whispered in her ear and watched as her face fell.

Ma straightened my hair and it looked so smooth and sleek. I thought she would stop there, but ma had other ideas. She scooped my hair together and put it up in a ponytail. I hated having my hair up and she knew that!

"You look gorgeous, Jane. You should wear your hair up more often!"

"Thanks ma, but I think I'll pass!" I quipped as I got up to leave.

"Janie, wait! Put these on!"

Ma handed me a small jewellery box. It contained a pair of dangly earrings; they were teardrop shaped and sparkled when they caught the light. They were beautiful.

"Ma, I can't take these! They look expensive! What if I break them or lose them?"

"You'll just have to be careful with them! I want you to have them, so you are going to wear them whether you like it or not!"

"Thanks ma." I smiled as I kissed her cheek.

It wasn't long before Lydia's mom arrived.

"Mom! I'm so glad you're here!" Lydia cried.

"Jed gave me a ride." Her mother replied casually, as if it was no big deal.

I decided to sneak out. It felt wrong hanging out with the wedding party when I was just another guest.

Tommy, Frankie, T.J., and Rosa were just outside. Frankie was kneeling down and talking to T.J. I listened to their conversation and struggled to hold back my laughter.

"Sit still! You want to be the second best looking guy in this church don't you!" Frankie asked T.J. as he straightened up his bow tie.

"Second best! T.J.'s the main man! I'm gonna be second best… You'd be lucky to make it into the top ten, Frankie!" Tommy joked.

"Thanks." Frankie scowled at Tommy.

Frankie reached into his pocket and pulled out the box of rings. He opened it up and T.J's eyes widened at the sight.

"Wow! Are those real gold?" He exclaimed.

"Uh-huh! These rings are worth more than all your pocket money for the next fifty years, so don't lose 'em, okay? Your dad can't hold down a job for more than a few weeks and he's poor!" Frankie joked.

"Thanks Frankie. You're my best man… You're supposed to be makin' me look good!"

Rosa seemed a little quiet, so I gestured for her to come and see me.

"Hey buddy, are you okay?"

Rosa just nodded sadly.

I knelt down and placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Come on Rosa, it's me, cool Aunt Jane. And you can tell cool Aunt Jane anything, so why don't you start by telling me what's wrong."

"T.J. said I wasn't important because I don't have a job."

"T.J. doesn't have a job either! He's seven!"

"No, a job in the ceremony. He's the ring bearer and I'm not anything. He said I was a nobody." She sobbed.

"Hey, don't cry. T.J was just being mean, okay? You are not a nobody. You have an extra special job." I explained gently as I wiped away her tears.

"What is it?" She asked between sobs.

"I need you to stay with me because I get really lonely and I don't trust anyone else to keep me company. Can you do that for me?"

Rosa nodded and gave me a watery smile.

"Good." I smiled back as I scooped her up in my arms.

I carried Rosa towards Tommy and balanced her on my hip as I patted him on the back.

"Congratulations, little brother!" I exclaimed.

"Thanks Janie." He beamed.

"Are you nervous?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me?! There is a beautiful woman in there who was crazy enough to agree to marry me… Of course I'm nervous! But it's a good feeling, you know?"

"I think I do." I smiled.

"You guys should probably go and take your seats soon cause it's starting to get pretty crowded. I'll catch you later." Tommy smiled and squeezed my upper arm affectionately.

He walked away to finish getting ready.

"Tommy?" I called after him.

"Yeah, Jane?" He replied softly as he turned to look at me again.

"I'm so proud of you." I stated and offered him a warm smile.

"Thanks Janie. I never thought I'd hear you say that! It means a lot."

Rosa and I sat down on one of the front pews and we were later joined by ma and Lydia's mom. Tommy, Frankie, and T.J. walked down the aisle and waited at the altar with the priest… The same priest that Tommy ran over all those years ago! It's a small, small world!

The music started playing and everyone in the church turned around. Maura gracefully made her way down the aisle. She was wearing a floor-length coral pink dress, her soft waves were flowing down her back, and in her hands she held a bouquet of flowers. She looked so radiant and elegant. My heart danced in my chest as she smiled broadly. She winked at me as she glided past, causing a spike my body temperature and a smile to creep across my lips. Rosa tapped me on the shoulder and started to whisper in my ear.

"Mommy looks like a princess."

"Yes she does, buddy. Your mommy always looks like a princess."

Maura made it to the altar and stood opposite Frankie. It was sweet that Tommy chose him to be his best man. I glanced at Tommy and his face said it all. The pure love there. He was so nervous but you could tell that he was also really, really happy. As Lydia made her entrance, everyone rose from their seats. I know that you're supposed to look at the bride when she makes her giant, grand entrance, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Maura. She was mesmerising. How could someone be so perfect and not even know it?

"May you all be seated please?" Father Crowley requested.

The ceremony was all a bit of a blur. I was so totally and completely lost in my own thoughts, picturing what it would be like if Maura and I were standing up there, making vows and embarking upon our future together. Would I be wearing a tux (I always wanted to be like James Bond!) or a dress? Or maybe even a Red Sox jersey?! And Maura. There was no doubt in my mind that her dress would be beautiful. What flowers would we have? Would Rosa be the flower girl? Oh, she would look so adorable.

"You may now kiss the bride."

* * *

"Oh Jane, wasn't the ceremony perfect?" Maura gushed as she made her way over to me.

"Yeah, it sure was… So, I've already seen ten people I hate, a dozen people I know whose names I can't remember, and a handful of people I don't know but will expect me to know them anyhow. Oh and did I mention that my father is here?! At least there's an open bar." I huffed in Maura's ear as we made our way over to our table.

I pulled Maura's chair out for her and sat down next to her.

"I can't believe he's here." I sighed.

"He's here because his son got married today and Tommy wanted him here." Maura replied, gently squeezing my knee.

"Was ma okay with that?"

"I'm sure it must be difficult for her, but today is about Tommy and Lydia. But look at her-" Maura gestured towards my mother who was laughing with Lydia's mother. "She seems to be handling it all pretty well. Her zygomaticus major muscles are drawing the angle of her mouth superiorly and posteriorly, thus indicating that she may even be enjoying herself."

"Really? I never would have guessed!" I quipped.

Maura playfully slapped my arm and chuckled. Deep down, she was still the same old Maura. She had grown so much, but fundamentally, she was still the same. She was still a genius, but nowadays she was a little less socially awkward and goofy.

"I'm gonna get a beer. You want anything?" I asked.

"No thank you, I think I'll wait until the waiter brings the champagne around." Maura smiled.

"Suit yourself." I replied, placing my hand on her shoulder as I got up to leave.

When I got to the bar, I ordered my beer. I glanced back at Maura who was now joined by Rosa. Rosa had settled herself on Maura's lap and Maura lovingly wrapped her arms around her. They talked and giggled, and it was a joy to watch. The bartender handed me my drink, distracting me for a brief moment. I thanked him and returned my gaze to Maura and Rosa. I waited at the bar for a few minutes because I didn't want to interrupt the tender moment I was witnessing.

**(You and Me – Lifehouse)**

Before I could make my way back to our table, Tommy and Lydia began their first dance. Everyone else remained seated and there was no way I could sneak back to the table without crossing the dance floor.

"At this time, if you're in love or just love to dance, we'd like you to join Tommy and Lydia on the dancefloor." The DJ announced.

I looked back Maura and our eyes met through the crowd of people, all flocking towards the dancefloor. She smiled at me, making me go weak in the knees. God, that smile, those lips, those eyes, that face. She was irresistible. I had fallen under her spell. Well, I'm not sure if fallen is the right word, I mean, Maura has raised me up higher than I have ever been. Anyhow, I was in a trance. I knew that I was in a room full of people, but I only saw Maura and Rosa. It was almost like we were the only people in the world. I was too far away to hear what either of them were saying, but it looked like Rosa was begging Maura to dance with her. Rosa jumped down from Maura's lap and dragged her onto the dancefloor. They looked so happy and carefree as they danced together. Rosa giggled and grinned the whole time, and Maura did the same. Occasionally, I would catch her eye and she would smile at me lovingly.

What I wouldn't have given to be dancing with Maura. I didn't even like dancing, but Maura did. I should have been the one dancing with her. I should have been proud to show her off in front of our family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I was so proud to call Maura my girlfriend, but a part of me was also scared about what people would think. I had told Maura that I just didn't want to steal Tommy and Lydia's thunder, which wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth. The song ended as I continued to drink my beer. Alone. Miserably.

"Screw it. You love this girl." I told myself as I slammed my empty glass onto the bar.

**(Till the End – Jessie Ware)**

I confidently strolled over to Maura, and Rosa scurried away to play with the other kids.

"May I have this dance?" I asked as I held out my hand.

"Jane, what are you doing? You said you wanted to wait, you said that –"

"I know what I said, Maura, but I realised something. I realised that I would never forgive myself if I didn't ask the most beautiful woman in the world to dance with me tonight."

Maura gladly accepted my hand and I pulled her close, the swift action eliciting a sweet laugh from the object of my affections.

"I didn't know you could dance, Jane." Maura smiled.

"I can't. I have no idea what I'm doing!" I confessed.

Maura chuckled and I joined in. What kind of idiot asks someone else to dance when they can't even dance themselves?! That's right, this idiot!

"It's okay, you're doing really well. You're a natural." Maura beamed.

"You're not so bad yourself!" I joked.

Maura was an amazing dancer. She was as graceful as flowers swaying in the wind, and as powerful as the rolling ocean. She was never out of step and I was just following her lead. Our bodies moved together, as one, and it felt so right. Suddenly, I didn't care about what anyone else thought. It didn't matter who approved or who disapproved because I had Maura and she had me, and nothing else really mattered.

"You look stunning, Jane. I wanted to tell you that earlier but I didn't get the chance." Maura stated, causing me to blush.

I didn't really know how to take a compliment, I mean, I'd never really received one before. Not on my appearance anyway.

"This dress feels like a strait jacket, these shoes are killing me and don't even get me started on my hair!" I huffed.

"What's wrong with your hair? I think it looks really pretty." Maura smiled sweetly.

"I hate it. It just feels like I'm trying to be someone I'm not."

"Then I hate it too."

"What?! You just said it looked pretty!"

"Oh, it does. But I don't want you to be someone you're not. I want you to be you. I love you and I think you're perfect, just the way you are."

Maura offered me her signature smile, dimples and all. It was so infectious that I couldn't stop myself from grinning back at her. I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. Maura responded but kept the kiss PG. We were in a room full of people after all. The moment was so sweet and tender. I am not usually one for PDAs but I didn't care. I wanted to kiss her, so I kissed her. No regrets.

"So, I think people are going to know about us now!" Maura chuckled as she broke away from the kiss.

"You think?!"

"Are you okay?" Maura asked concernedly.

"Yeah, Maur. I'm so much better than okay! I'm like, dancing-on-air happy!" I beamed.

"Good. Me too." Maura replied before capturing my lips again.

"So, now they know." I sighed with relief.

"Now they know. And sure, they'll probably talk about it for a few days –"

"Weeks! Or months even!" I added.

"But then we'll get used to it. And they'll get used to us being together." Maura assured.

Suddenly, I noticed ma rushing towards us.

"Oh boy." I whispered and Maura squeezed my hand supportively.

This was the moment I had been dreading. My mother was a very proud and opinionated woman, and I never failed to disappoint her. All she wanted was for me to have a safe job, a nice house, a kind husband (god, she never stopped trying to set me up with eligible bachelors!), and most importantly, and a couple of kids… I didn't have any of those things!

I was half expecting her to yell at me or something, but she didn't. Instead, she kissed me and Maura on the cheek.

"It's about time! I'm so happy for you two!" She squealed.

"What?! You knew?" I asked in utter shock and disbelief.

Seriously, how did everyone else know that Maura and I had feelings for each other before we did?!

"Of course I knew! I'm your mother! I know everything! I see the way you two act. You're like best friends who are in love. You've always been like that!"

"So you approve then?"

"Of course I approve, Janie! The only thing I disapprove of is how long it took you two knuckleheads to see what was right in front of you!"

Ma pulled us both into a tight hug and I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. I couldn't believe how good it felt to have our relationship out in the open and I kind of wished that we'd told everyone sooner. A minute or so later, ma released us and left, leaving us to continue dancing in peace.

"We should probably talk to about our relationship Rosa later."

"Yeah, we should. It'll probably be quite confusing for a four-year-old." I replied.

* * *

When we got back to Maura's house, we all settled on the couch. Rosa snuggled in between me and Maura. Maura and I exchanged glances as we prepared ourselves with the complicated task of explaining everything to Rosa.

"Rosa, Aunt Jane and I wanted to talk to you about something." Maura began.

"Is it because you were kissing at the party?"

"You knew about that?" I asked.

I was a little surprised. I thought Rosa wouldn't have noticed because she was so busy playing with T.J. and the other kids. Maybe she heard someone talking about it.

"Yeah, I saw you. You were being all mushy."

"How- how do you feel about that?" Maura asked, equally shocked.

"Fine. I love you mommy, and I love you Aunt Jane. So what if you love each other?" Rosa shrugged.

Wow. That didn't sound complicated at all, and it certainly didn't seem like Rosa was confused.

"You do love each other, don't you?" Rosa asked, her wide eyes twinkling with intrigue.

"We do." Maura and I replied instantly and in unison.

**N.B. The flashback with Lydia is from 3X09.**


	15. Dream Date In Hell's Kitchen

A week had passed since the wedding and things with Jane had been going from strength to strength. I loved having her around, and so did Rosa. Jane was still splitting her time between my house and Angela's condo. I longed for her to move in with me full-time, however, I didn't want to rush her or scare her off.

One morning, Jane barged into my office. She'd spent the night at Angela's and I had really missed her. I missed the comforting smell of lavender in the morning, I missed the feeling of her warm breath against my neck as we held each other, and I missed the way she smiled at me as her eyes fluttered open. I missed everything about her. It was like my heart was breaking all over again, every single time she left me to stay with Angela. It's stupid, I know. I know that Jane will come back to me soon enough. I know that she isn't going anywhere for good, but I can't help feeling like a piece of me is missing in her absence. It isn't like an appendix or tonsils, it is something vital to my survival. Something like a heart.

"Urgh!" She huffed as she slumped down on my couch.

"Good morning to you too!" I smiled.

"I'm sorry. Good morning, Maur. How was your night?"

"It was fairly pleasant, thank you for asking. Rosa and I watched Frozen again, had a little dance party, and a nice early night. The only thing that would have made it better would have been having you there to enjoy it with us. What about you? Did you have a nice evening?"

"Oh yeah, it was delightful. My mother tried to help me 'combat the clutter'… I tried to tell her that I only had a few boxes of things but she still made me sort through everything anyway! That woman is driving me nuts!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. I remembered the time Angela reorganized my kitchen. I couldn't find anything for weeks!

"It's not funny, Maur!" Jane snapped.

"Sorry." I smirked.

It was a little funny.

Jane tilted her head to one side and started rubbing her neck.

"What's wrong with your neck?"

"Oh, it's nothing. It's just a little sore from sleeping on the couch. No big deal." She brushed it off, but I could tell that she was still in pain.

"May I take a look?"

Jane nodded and jumped to her feet. I made my way towards her and gently placed my hands on her neck. I let my fingers smooth out the knots and kinks, and she sighed as it eased her tension.

"How does that feel?"

"Magical." She sighed.

I continued to massage Jane's neck and shoulders for a moment before bringing my arm across her neck. I bent my arm slightly so that her chin was resting in the crook of my elbow.

"Hey! Maur! What are you doing?" Jane panicked and tried to free herself from my grasp.

"I'm about the realign your vertebrae. What did you think I was doing?"

"I don't know… Trying to strangle me or something!" She retorted.

"Why would I do that? Now, please, just relax."

Jane exhaled deeply, however, her body only stiffened.

"Jane, that's not relaxing, that's tensing! What's the matter? Don't you trust me?"

"It's not that I don't trust you, babe. I would never say that… Especially not when you have your arm around my neck! It's just, I really don't want to have to rely on a helper monkey for the rest of my life!"

"Relax, Jane. I know what I'm doing."

Jane sighed again.

"On the count of three. One… Two… Thr–"

Before I could put Jane's vertebrae into alignment, Frankie rushed into my office.

"Frankie! Thank god you're here!" Jane cried, untangling herself from my arms.

Jane bolted towards a very confused looking Frankie.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"-No!"

"- Yes!"

Jane and I answered at the same time.

"I'll just come back later." Frankie replied cautiously as he turned around to leave.

"Frankie, stop! What did you need?" Jane asked, grabbing both of his arms and preventing him from leaving.

"Nothing. It's not important. I just wanted to talk to Maura about something, that's all."

"Well, she's right there! Go ahead!"

"No, it's okay. It can wait." He sighed.

"It's okay, I have plenty of time. What's wrong, Frankie?" I questioned gently.

He glanced over at Jane and then back at me. It was evident that he was reluctant to discuss this issue in front of Jane.

"I'm just gonna go… Upstairs. Because I have work to do. Lots of important work." Jane stated, clearly taking the hint.

I frowned as Jane scurried away.

"We're not done here!" I called after her, but it was no use.

"What's up, Frankie?" I smiled warmly, and gestured for him to take a seat on the couch.

"You remember how you helped me deal with my anxiety before my Detective Exam?"

"Yes, I remember. I read some studies on how to help anxiety through hypnosis."

"Well, I think it really helped and I was hoping that you'd be willing to do it again. You see, I really like Nina. I mean, I _really _like her, if you get what I'm saying. Anyway, I was hoping that maybe you could hypnotise me again or something!"

"Frankie, you don't need me to hypnotise you! Just ask her out on a date!"

"I'm so nervous, Maura! I don't know what to say to her! What should I say?"

"I'm probably not the best person to ask…"

"Come on Maura, you've gotta help me!"

"Okay, okay. I've heard that role playing can be very helpful in these kinds of situations. Sometimes it helps to rehearse what you want to say. I'll be Nina and you can be yourself."

"You don't really think this is gonna work, do you?!"

"It's worth a shot. What have you got to lose?"

"How about what's left of my dignity!"

"Come on Frankie, just go with it."

"Fine… Hey Nina –"

"Great start, Frankie!" I beamed.

He scowled at me, clearly displeased about being interrupted.

"Sorry, please continue. I'll be quiet now." I assured as I drew my thumb and forefinger across my lips.

"Nina." Frankie sighed as he looked down at his hands.

"You know, Frankie, you should really make eye contact when you talk to her. It is so important; did you know that people who maintain eye contact are usually perceived as more reliable, warm, sociable, honest, confident and active?"

"Maura!"

"Sorry… Again!"

Frankie made a point to look me in the eyes. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"As I was saying, we've known each other for a while now and I really feel like we have a special connection. I just thought you should know that I like you. I _really _like you. I know that things have been pretty crazy for you lately, but maybe, when things calm down and you feel ready, you'd consider going on a date with me."

"What the hell?!"

An angry voice bellowed from behind me. I turned around slowly to see Jane standing in the doorway. Her features etched with confusion and annoyance. She folded her arms and leaned against the doorframe, informing us that she wasn't leaving without a good answer.

"Jane, it's not what you think –" Frankie began as he scrambled to his feet.

"It better not be, Frankie. Cause from where I'm standing, it looked an awful lot like you were asking my girlfriend out! Now I get why you wanted me to leave the room earlier!"

"Janie, Maura's been roleplaying with me. I – I wanted to ask Nina out but I was too nervous and I literally have no game! I came to Maura so that she could use hypnosis on me but she suggested roleplaying instead. That's all. There's nothing else going on here!"

Suddenly, Jane erupted into a fit of laughter, clutching at her sides and turning slightly red.

"I'm just messin' with you, I heard the whole thing! You should have seen your face!"

"You're an asshole, you know that?!" Frankie scoffed as he brushed past Jane.

"Thanks, Maura." He sighed.

"Good luck!" I called after him as he stormed out of my office.

I cast my eyes over to Jane; she still had this goofy grin plastered across her face.

"Don't you think that was a little cruel, Jane?" I frowned.

"Come on, Maur, that's just what brothers and sisters do. They mess with each other!"

"If you say so. I'm assuming you didn't come back here to let me realign your vertebrae, so what can I do for you?"

"Korsak wants to know if you have the results from the blood sample yet."

"No, not yet. The lab should be calling any minute though. I'll meet you upstairs shortly."

"Thanks, Maur."

"Hey, Jane? Are you still on for our date tonight?"

"Of course." She smiled.

"Good, because I have something really incredible planned!"

"Awesome! Can't wait! Catch you later, Maur." She beamed as she walked away.

I smiled happily to myself as I sat down in front of my laptop and made a start on one of my reports.

* * *

A few hours later, I was still drowning in paperwork. I had spent all afternoon writing reports, and making phone calls. I had barely seen Jane and I didn't even get to participate in anything remotely scientific. I hated the administration side of my job, but I reminded myself that, however boring it was, it was still vitally important. My stomach growled with great ferocity, reminding me that I had neglected to eat lunch earlier. I decided to take a break and head over to the café. As soon as I arrived, I immediately noticed Jane sitting at a table with her back towards me. She was nursing a hot cup of coffee, and twisting and rubbing her neck. I seized the opportunity and snuck up behind her. I quickly placed my arm around her neck once more and corrected her vertebral alignment. It was one swift movement that resulted in a loud cracking noise.

"Ow! My neck! My neck!" Jane cried.

She was frozen in pain and I too was afraid to move.

"Jane! Are you okay?! This wasn't supposed to happen!" I panicked, rushing round to face her.

Jane looked up at me and beamed broadly.

"Gotcha! Again!" Jane smirked.

I placed my hand on my heart and let out the breath I had been holding. Relief flushed through me.

"It actually feels much better! Thanks, Maur!"

"You're terrible!" I laughed as I playfully slapped Jane's upper arm.

"But you love me!" She gleamed, wrinkling her nose as she spoke.

"I do. I really do." I smiled as I leaned over to kiss her cheek.

I pulled out the chair next to Jane and sat down beside her. I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head again. Angela happily strolled towards us.

"What can I get you girls?" Providing both service and a smile.

"Ooh you've started serving Caesar salad! Are the eggs coddled?"

"Um, I don't know. Why?"

"Caesar salads can be extremely dangerous if bad eggs are used. Of course, it would be fine, if they're coddled."

"Just get the salad, Maura! I'm sure you'll be fine!"

"But Jane –"

"Hey, ma? Can I please get a Caesar salad for Maura, and another one with a side of extra uncoddled eggs for me?! Thanks."

"I think I'll stick with a Cobb salad, thank you Angela." I frowned at Jane before handing the menu back and smiling politely at Angela.

"Coming right up!"

"What?" I frowned at Jane.

"Nothing!" She smirked again.

"You're laughing at me!"

"No I'm not, I'm just smiling at you! Am I not allowed to smile at you anymore?!"

I frowned at Jane, still unable to believe that she wasn't making fun of me. It didn't bother me either way, I mean, Jane wasn't doing it to be malicious, so it didn't really matter. I just didn't understand why it was funny… Salmonella is not a laughing matter.

"So, what are your big plans for date night?" Jane asked excitedly, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

"I'm so excited, Jane! You're going to love it!"

"What's Jane gonna love?" Angela asked as she returned to the table with our salads.

"Ma! I was joking about the salad!" Jane huffed.

"You're not so funny now, are you?! Eat your salad!" Angela quipped and I chuckled.

"As you already know, tonight is date night." I began.

Angela had offered to watch Rosa for me again, so this did not come as a surprise to her. I had been keeping my big plans under wraps for a while, but I deemed right now to be as good a time as any to share them with Jane and Angela.

"Well, a couple of weeks ago, at a charity auction, I paid for a ten course, gourmet meal at Clio. It's supposed to be one of the best restaurants in the area. It's so popular that I've never been able to get a table before!"

"Clio? That's the restaurant in Back Bay, with celebrity chef… what's-his-name!" Angela exclaimed, rolling her wrist as she tried to remember his name.

"Yes! Ken Oringer! Oh, just saying his name makes my mouth water!" I added dreamily.

"Yeah, mine too." Jane replied sarcastically.

Angela and I rolled our eyes at her in response.

"And isn't his place famous for its duck confit?"

"Yes. The meat is cooked until it is spectacularly moist and tender, and seared until the skin turns golden and crisp. Oh and the duck is served on a bed of heavenly pommes sarladaises."

"Wow. That sounds really fancy." Angela sighed pensively.

"And _we_" I pointed my finger between myself and Jane. "Get to enjoy a romantic dinner at the chef's table, right inside the kitchen!"

"Wow! They let you sit in the kitchen?! Maybe for another $300, they'll let you wash the dishes!" Jane replied sarcastically.

"Jane! It's Chef Oringer! I would pay to lick those dishes!" Angela retorted.

"I'm not sure Stanley pays you enough to do that, ma!"

"Probably not!" Angela chuckled as she left to clear the other tables.

Once she was out of earshot, I turned my attention back to Jane.

"Are you excited?" I practically squealed, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Sure." She exhaled noisily.

"You don't sound excited." I replied, my voice rich with disappointment.

I had been really looking forward to trying out the food at Clio. It is so exclusive and always receives rave reviews. It is a spectacular restaurant and I couldn't imagine sharing this incredible experience with anyone else.

"No, I am. I'm really looking forward to having an amazing night with the woman I love." She smiled half-heartedly.

"Listen, Maura. I should get back to work. Want me to meet you at your place when I'm done?"

"No, I'll pick you up at 7pm. It is date night after all, I want to do this properly." I smiled.

"Sure, see you then." She sighed.

"See you then." I replied sadly but it was too late, she had already gone.

* * *

"Have you decided on your wine?" The waiter asked in a beautiful French accent.

"Yes. Please may we have a bottle of the 2007 Gaja Barbaresco?"

"Certainly Madame."

"Ah, no need for me to weigh in." Jane scoffed as she handed the waiter the drinks menu.

"I'm sorry, you can order something else if you'd like. I just thought that the fragrant raspberry notes and incredible poise would really complement our meal."

"I'm sure the wine you chose will be just fine, Maura… Well, it certainly should be at 220 bucks a bottle!"

"Pardon me, it is my great pleasure to present to you Chef Kenneth Oringer." The waiter introduced.

"Good evening, ladies. Welcome to the Chef's table. So our first course is a pan-seared coho salmon, rubbed lightly with lemon and pepper." Chef Oringer explained as he carefully placed our plates in front of us.

The food was arranged on the plate in such an aesthetically pleasing way. The presentation alone far exceeded my expectations. I cut a bite-sized piece of the salmon and delicately placed it in my mouth. The flavours were so rich and intense that it felt almost like a mini explosion, or a party in my mouth.

"This is delightful." I beamed at Jane.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed as she took the salmon out of her mouth, dumping it back on her plate. "This is raw! It's awful!"

"No, it's seared to perfection." I explained gently.

"Maura, look at it! My salmon is still swimming upstream!"

"I am looking at it, Jane. It looks just fine to me. Don't eat it if you don't want to. There are nine other courses, so hopefully you'll enjoy the next ones a little bit more." I smiled uncomfortably.

This was not how I wanted the night to go. We were supposed to be enjoying a lovely, romantic, ten course meal in one of Boston's finest restaurants. I wanted to treat Jane the way she deserved to be treated and she deserved to be spoilt.

The rest of the night didn't go swimmingly either. Jane picked at her food and only spoke when spoken to. The duck really was divine, however, even that wasn't enough to rescue the evening. It was a disaster. I had taken a taxi from my house to Angela's, picking up Jane there and going on to the restaurant together. Taking a taxi meant that we could both enjoy a drink and not have to worry about driving home again. After we had finished the meal, I thanked the chef and Jane and I went outside. Jane hailed a taxi.

"Where'd you want to go?"

"Two stops please." Jane began as she scooted across the backseat.

"Two stops?"

I know it may have been a little presumptuous to automatically assume that Jane would be coming home with me, however, we had already spent many nights together. It didn't make any sense.

"Yeah, Maur. I'm really tired. I just wanna go home."

"Oh, okay." I sighed dejectedly.

This was the second consecutive night I would have to spend without Jane. The journey from Jane's old condo to my house seemed disproportionately long.

"Hey girls, how was your meal?" Angela called from the couch.

She was clearly right in the middle of a good book as she didn't even turn around to greet us properly. Not that Jane was there to greet. It was just me. Alone again. Naturally.

"Hi Angela. I'm afraid it's just me."

"Where's Janie?" She asked worriedly as she placed the book down on the coffee table.

"She went home." I sighed, making my way to sit at the kitchen counter.

"What? Why? Did something happen between you two?"

Angela rose from her seat and moved towards me.

"I don't think so. One minute she was fine and the next she was all morose. She was being somewhat salty with me before we left. Well, ever since we ate lunch at the café."

"Maybe she was just having an off day." Angela soothed as she affectionately rubbed my upper arm.

"I don't know, Angela." I shook my head. "I think there's more to it than that."

* * *

Jane and I were kneeling beside the dead body of a man in his late thirties. His body was partially covered by surrounding leaves and there were obvious lacerations to his face.

"Jane, can we please talk about last night?" I asked calmly.

"Really? You want to discuss this over a body?!"

"Where else am I supposed to do it? You've been dodging me all day!"

Jane huffed in response. I had tried to be calm. I had tried to be patient, and nice, and fair with her, but now – now she had used up all of my grace.

"I don't understand! We went to a lovely restaurant and you barely said a word to me all night! And now – now you're avoiding me like the plague! What happened? Did I do something to upset you? Tell me, Jane! What is it? Because I have been going over and over it again in my head, turning myself inside out trying to understand what I did wrong and I –"

"We went to a fancy, expensive restaurant, Maura. The duck cost more than my weekly shopping budget and I would need to sell my kidney and probably a bunch of other organs on the black market just to be able to afford the bottle of wine you ordered. I don't have that kind of money, Maura. And I know, _you _paid. But I don't belong in that world, Maura. I don't belong there but you do!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think –"

"I know, you didn't think. Excuse me, I have work to do."

* * *

I felt terrible. Really, truly, terrible. All I wanted to do was make sure that Jane had a lovely evening, and all I actually did was make her feel lousy. Maybe I should have known that going to a fancy restaurant would make her feel bad. Maybe I should have been more considerate of her feelings. Throughout the day, I dwelled on all the things I could have done differently. Should have done differently. When I got home, I decided to call Jane. I had to make this right. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her again, especially over something so trivial.

Straight to voicemail.

"Hi Jane, it's me. I know you are pretty mad at me right now, but there was something I really wanted to say to you. We don't need to go to fancy restaurants. We can stay home and eat pizza… Or – or Chinese food, or whatever the hell you want. It doesn't matter where we go, or what we eat. I just want to spend time with you. I just want you. None of the rest of it matters. And I hate fighting with you, so please just –"

Suddenly, I was interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"Sorry, there's someone at the door. I'll have to call you back. I love you." I sighed before hanging up the phone.

I opened the door to see Jane. It was pouring outside and she was just standing there, in the rain. Her hair was wet, her clothes were completely sodden and they clung to her tiny frame. She held a brown paper bag in her hands, and that too was soaking wet. She had obviously been waiting out there for a while before actually knocking on my door.

"Jane. I was just leaving you a voicemail." I stated in shock.

I didn't expect to find her on my doorstep. I thought we were fighting. I thought she was avoiding me. I thought she hated me.

"Can I come in?" She asked desolately.

"Of course, come in. Come in! You must be freezing. Let me get you a towel."

"Maura, wait." Jane said, catching my arm to prevent me from leaving the room. "There's something I need to say."

"No, Jane, please. Let me go first. You were right, I didn't think. I mean, I didn't think about how going to a fancy restaurant would make you feel. I didn't think like you would think. I thought like I would think, which was stupid because I have been known to think very differently to most other people. I really am sorry, Jane. I never meant to make you feel bad and I am truly sorry that I did."

"No, Maur. I'm sorry. I'm the jerk. I was being selfish and irrational last night… And again when I was rude to you this morning. We come from very different worlds, and the collision of those two worlds is probably always going to cause some sort of conflict. I know that you have to compromise to make any relationship work, and you have been trying so hard to fit into my world, but last night, I wouldn't budge. I should have made more of an effort to be a part of your world. I want to be a part of your world. In future, I will go anywhere you want me to go… and I won't even moan about it! And Maur?"

"Yes, Jane?"

"Keep thinking like you'd think." Jane replied sincerely.

"I can do that." I grinned.

Jane moved towards me and pulled me close to her, squashing the brown paper bag between us. Our faces were merely millimetres apart and I could feel her breath tickling my nose. Jane closed the distance between us by placing her lips against my own. The kiss was soft and warm and incredibly passionate. It was soothing and healing, and just what we both needed. I allowed Jane's tongue access to my mouth and sighed contently as the kiss deepened. We kept kissing, refusing to stop until we absolutely had to break away for air.

"Jane, will you stay with me?" I asked quietly.

"Of course, Maura. I would love to stay with you tonight."

"I don't just mean tonight, Jane. I want you to move in with me. I want you to stay with me forever."

"What?"

"I know it may seem like we're moving too fast, and I don't want to scare you away, but I want you to move in with me. With us – me and Rosa. I love you and Rosa loves you. You practically already live here anyway, and it's not like we haven't lived together before… I just – I want you to have more than just a drawer in my dresser and a shelf in my bathroom." I paused, trying to gauge Jane's reaction.

Nothing. Her expression was completely unreadable.

"Unless that's not what you want. If a drawer is enough for you right now, then – then I would be okay with that."

My vice was shaky and I was rambling.

"Yes." Jane interjected.

"What?" I asked as I lifted my head to meet Jane's eyes once again.

I watched as a giant grin swept across her mouth and her skin crinkled around her eyes.

"Yes, I would love to move in with you, you goof! I love you and I love Rosa. And by the way, despite ma's best efforts, I still own far too much crap to fit it all in one drawer!"

I quickly threw my arms around her and held her so impossibly close. Holding onto her tighter than I had ever held onto anything before.

"Maur?" Jane whispered quietly.

"Yes, Jane?"

"You're kind of crushing the cookies." She croaked.

"I don't know what that means. Is that some kind of innuendo or something?" I asked as I broke away from her embrace.

"No, Maura. You are literally crushing the cookies."

Jane held out the brown paper bag for me. I carefully peered inside to find a couple of giant cookies and a small carton of milk.

"You brought me milk and cookies?"

"Uh-huh. There's nothing a glass of warm milk and cookies can't fix." She smiled happily.

"I guess not." I chuckled.

"So, what should we do now?" Jane asked.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"Sure, but it's my turn to pick!"

"What?! That's not fair!"

"Uh, yes it is! We watched 'An Inconvenient Truth' last time… That definitely wasn't my idea of fun!"

"Fine." I huffed.

"Great! 'Field of Dreams' it is then!"

"But Jane! You've made me watch it at least ten times already!" I whined.

"Shut up and watch the movie!"

Jane and I snuggled up on the couch, eating cookies, drinking milk, and occasionally bickering. During the film, Jane reached behind us and lovingly draped the blanket over me. Without even having to look at me, Jane could just sense that I was starting to feel cold. She shuffled in closer so that she could fit under it too. I was completely encompassed by warmth and love. This was the life.


	16. Love and War

**Thank you for all of your lovely reviews, messages, and continued support. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write this chapter. I made the mistake of writing future chapters first (because I love fluff... There aren't enough mushy chapters in this story and I got excited/carried away) and suddenly I found that I had this huge gap to fill!**

**FYI, flashbacks are in bold and italics this time... Not to be confused with song lyrics, which are simply written in italics.**

* * *

"Okay, I have some bad news." I muttered as I entered the bedroom.

"You're dying?"

"No, not that bad! And why would you automatically assume that I was dying?"

"It was a joke, Maura."

Jane reluctantly sat up on the bed. She swivelled herself round and flung her long legs over the side of the mattress. She appeared tired and groggy as she let out a loud yawn whilst simultaneously raising her arms above her head in a salutation to the sun. Even with the worst bedhead situation I have ever seen, she was still breathtakingly beautiful to me. I felt myself smiling involuntarily at her like a lovesick teenager. Snapping out of my trance, I continued to explain the matter at hand.

"Oh. Well, it wasn't a very good one! My mother called."

"Constance?"

"Yes Constance! Who else could I possibly be referring to?!"

"Well, Hope for a start!"

"I suppose you do have a point. For future reference, I still only refer to Hope as either Hope, or my biological mother but that's only when I'm discussing her with acquaintances. Anyway, my mother, Constance, is in town, visiting, and she's coming over." I added somewhat nervously.

"What? When?"

"Now." I smiled sheepishly.

"Now now? As in right now this minute?" Jane asked, her voice laced with shock and confusion.

"Well, not right now. Taking the current traffic into consideration, we have approximately 22 minutes until she gets here."

Jane leapt out of bed and began to pace the floor, desperately trying to work out what to say or do next.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She snapped.

"I assumed she would cancel because she usually does, and well, she didn't."

Jane continued to fuss and mutter inaudible things under her breath. I can only assume that she was trying to get herself ready, however, she did not seem to be making any progress.

"Jane, please tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that you should have told me about this earlier!"

"I'm sorry to spring this on you and I understand why you're mad."

"I'm not mad, Maura." She grunted as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"You're not? You sound mad."

"I'm not mad!" She answered irately before composing herself. "I'm not mad. I'm just… nervous. I really want to make a good impression, you know?"

It was strange to see Jane seem so nervous. She was usually so confident and self-assured. Only on rare occasions had I seen Jane get herself into such a state and on each occasion, she was always fretting over something far more daunting than this.

"Jane, I don't understand. You have already met my mother, on a number of occasions, I might add. She likes you."

"Yes, I know but – wait, what? She said that? She really likes me? Cause I thought I pissed her off last time –"

"Jane, where is this going?"

"Right. Sorry. The point is, I wasn't your girlfriend back then."

Her voice was shaky and her whole demeanour made my heart melt. I reached out to grasp Jane's hands and felt them tremble profusely within my own.

"Jane, look at me. Everything is going to be fine. You are so kind and caring and compassionate. You are the best partner I could ever ask for. All my mother wants is for me to be happy, and I am so much more than that when I'm with you."

I released one of Jane's hands and raised my own to cup her cheek. I lightly caressed her smooth skin with the pad of my thumb as she met my gaze.

"You really mean that?" She asked, her voice so quiet and unsure.

"I do. You are a real catch, Jane Rizzoli." I beamed.

"Okay." She replied sceptically.

"Okay." I smiled again. "So, I am going to help Rosa get ready and you should probably put on some pants."

I placed a quick, chaste kiss on her lips. Jane was the first to break away from the kiss and I instantly missed the contact. I missed the feeling of her soft, warm lips against my own and I longed to kiss her again. There was plenty of time for that later though.

"Right. Pants."

Jane began rummaging through her drawers and, moments later, she finally pulled out a pair of grey slacks.

"Ooh, maybe not those pants."

"Really, Maura?!" She huffed as I quickly left the room.

* * *

"Get those teeth brushed, missy. Grandma will be here any minute." I called out to Rosa as I tried to make the place look presentable.

Jane emerged from our bedroom wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a white blouse. Jane seldom wore anything other than a blazer, t-shirt and slacks, and as a result, I almost forgot she owned other clothes! She looked absolutely amazing in those jeans; they really highlighted her enviable physique.

"There you are! I love your pants, by the way." I complimented.

"Yeah? That makes one of us!" Jane joked. "So what exactly have you told your mother? Does she know I'm back?"

"Yes."

"Does she know that we're a couple now?"

"Um, no, she does not. I mentioned that I was seeing someone but nothing very specific."

"Right. Probably better to tell her in person."

"Exactly, that's what I thought."

"So, tell me more about this wonderful and mysterious new person you're seeing." Jane's probed, her naturally husky voice taking on a much more seductive tone.

"I never said they were wonderful." I smirked.

"Hey!" Jane feigned offence as she playfully slapped my upper arm.

"Well, for a start she's smart, witty and _incredibly_ sexy."

"She sounds delightful. Please, tell me more!" Jane replied flirtatiously as she strolled towards me.

She engulfed me in a romantic embrace and placed a feather-light kiss over my racing pulse. I sighed contently and wrapped my arms around her neck as she snaked hers around my waist. I loved the feeling of her warm hands on my body; I felt so safe and loved and alive. I kissed her tenderly on her lips and sighed as the kiss deepened. I felt her tongue trace my lip, requesting entry, which I gladly granted, of course. It was almost as if our tongues danced to a melody that only we could hear and feel. Gasping for air, we reluctantly broke apart and it made my heart ache. I stared into Jane's chocolate brown orbs and watched in awe as they appeared to grow darker and richer. She was irresistible and there was nothing I wanted more than to take her into our bedroom and worship every inch of her. However, that would have to wait. I let out a deep sigh as I reluctantly pulled away from her. I tried to distract myself from my increasing arousal by focusing my attention on the collar of her blouse. I noticed that the edges of her collar were ever so slightly crooked and I began to smooth them out.

"Get off me!" She exclaimed as she swatted my hands away.

"Hold still! You're such a child!"

"Yeah, well, it takes one to know one!" She scowled.

"That doesn't even make sense in this context." I chuckled.

This sweet and playful moment was interrupted by an assertive knock at the door.

"I wonder who that could be?!" Jane joked.

I flashed her a quick smile before proceeding to open the door.

"Hello mother." I greeted politely.

"Hello darling! You look well."

"Thank you. As do you. Please, come in."

I gestured for her to make her way into the living room and closed the door behind her. She didn't just walk, she glided. My mother always had this air of grace and elegance about her. It was both marvellous and intimidating.

"So nice to see you again, Jane." She stated coldly.

Perhaps I was reading too much into it, but I sensed a hint of hostility and bitterness in her tone.

"You too. It's been a while." Jane smiled uneasily.

I could almost see the cogs turning in her head as she tried to decide whether or not to hug my mother. In the end, she settled on a handshake. It was a little awkward to say the least.

"Three and a half years, but who's counting?"

"You apparently! So, what brings you here?" Jane asked politely, trying not to pay attention to the frosty reception she was receiving from my mother.

"Can't a mother pay her only a daughter a visit without having a hidden agenda?"

"Maura! Do something!" Jane whispered desperately in my ear.

As soon as my mother looked over at us, Jane smiled broadly. I hoped that she would lose the crazed smile before she started cramping, this interaction was painful enough already. Fortunately, Rosa made her entrance and the mood lightened significantly.

"And who is this lovely young lady?" My mother asked, pretending not to recognise Rosa.

It had only been two years or so since she last visited and I always send her lots of photographs. There is no way my mother could forget her own granddaughter.

"It's me, Grandma! Rosa Jane Isles!" Rosa exclaimed as she ran towards her.

"No, you can't be Rosa Jane Isles… She's only a baby!"

My mother loved Rosa and she became such a wonderful grandmother. She always made such an effort to engage with her. It was a stark contrast to the way she was with me when I was a child.

"See, mommy! I told you I've grown! Even grandma didn't recognise me!"

"So, mother. I hear there is an exhibition on Contemporary Eastern European Art at the Boston Museum of Art tomorrow night. Will you be attending?"

"Of course. Only an uncouth philistine would pass up the opportunity to see Balkan Baroque in the flesh. Isn't that right, Jane?"

"Oh yes, absolutely. I just love his stuff."

"Um, Jane. Balkan Baroque isn't the artist, it's the title of one of Marina Abramović's most famous installations." I gently informed.

"Right, I knew that. I was just testing you… Congratulations, you passed! Who wants a drink?"

"Maura, perhaps you'd like to join me?"

"I'd be delighted to, mother."

"Oh and you must ask that lovely new beau of yours to tag along. I can't wait to meet him."

"Yeah, _he_ can't wait either!" Jane muttered sarcastically under her breath.

"Actually, mother. Why don't you ask _her_ yourself? Jane is my girlfriend, she is the new person I've been seeing."

"I don't believe it! I raised you to be better than this, Maura."

"I am still the same person you raised me to be, mother. Just because I am in a relationship with a woman now, it doesn't mean I am any less of a person."

"You think the reason why I disapprove of your relationship is because Jane is a woman?"

"Well, isn't it?"

"No, of course not. That has nothing to do with it. I always knew that you were sexually fluid."

"You did?"

"Yes, I knew all about you and Jennifer."

"Maura? Who's Jennifer?"

"Just a girl I used to date in med school. How did you know about her?!"

"That's not important right now –"

"I never thought I'd say this, but your mother is right, Maura. I think the more important question here is how did I not know about her?!"

"Rosa, why don't you go and play upstairs? I'll come up and check on you in a little while." I smiled.

"Okay, mommy."

After she left the room, I continued.

"Because, Jane. The topic never came up."

"Um, yeah it did, Maur. The first time we – you know –" she looked over at my mother before continuing. "Did _stuff_… you said you'd never slept with another woman!"

"No, I didn't! I would never have said that!"

"Yes you did and I told you that I hadn't either!"

"Jane, can we please talk about this later? Preferably without my mother present."

"Fine."

"I do not have a problem with you and Jane being lesbians, Maura. As I have mentioned before, it is not your sexual preference that I have an issue with. It is your choice of partner. I raised you to be a smart, rational and intelligent woman, yet you seemed to have tossed all logic and reason out the window!"

"What do you mean by that, mother?" I asked tersely.

"You seem to be forgetting the turmoil that your beloved Jane put you through! For three years, you stayed right here, waiting for her to come back to you."

"I haven't forgotten anything, mother. And you know what? I am so glad I waited because she is here now! She did come back to me!"

"But you were so miserable, darling. I am only telling you this because I love you. While you were sitting here, waiting by the phone for a call that never came, crying your eyes out over a woman who merely posed as your best friend, Jane was off gallivanting in DC, doing god knows what! And she may be here right now, but how long is that going to last? She is not good enough for you and she's still a flight risk, Maura. If you were thinking clearly you'd see that!"

That was it. I had heard enough. My blood boiled and suddenly words started spewing out of my mouth, like lava from a volcano.

"I am going to have to stop you before you continue, for your own sake. Jane is good enough for me, mother. In fact, I'm almost certain that she is too good for me. And you are not going to imply that I am reckless and irresponsible because I am engaging in a relationship with the woman I love. I am not some lovesick teenager, and to imply anything of the sort is offensive. I am a grown woman, mother. I am more than capable of making my own decisions. I've been successfully doing just that for years."

"Maura, I just meant that love and lust can make even the most intelligent people do irrational things. Things that they wouldn't dream of doing if their judgement wasn't clouded. You rushed into whatever this is with Jane because it felt exhilarating and exciting, but it isn't right. Just because it feels good now, it doesn't mean that all of the previous damage has been repaired."

"If you are done trying to psychoanalyse me, I have something more to say. I did not just rush into this with my eyes closed. I am well aware of all the facts, mother. Yes, I was devastated when Jane left and yes, it still hurts to know that she didn't talk to me for three years, but it is done. She is here now and she is staying. I had to make a choice; I could take a chance on Jane, on us, or turn my back on the woman I love for good. There was a choice and I chose love. And it is the best choice that I ever made."

I felt tears pooling in my eyes. I glanced over at Jane and the sight of her broke my heart. She looked so broken and devastated as she tried to fight back tears. I took hold of Jane's hand and she instinctively looked up at me. Her eyes were so swollen and red-rimmed. I offered her a watery smile and firmly nodded my head, assuring her that I meant every word. That being with her really was the best choice I ever made.

Still holding Jane's hand, as an act of solidarity, I began to address my mother once again.

"Those three years without Jane were some of the hardest years of my life, and I do not want to spend a single moment more without her by my side. Whether you like it or not, _we are together_." I stressed as I gently squeezed Jane's hand.

Mother turned to face me in stunned silence. She dipped her head and swallowed sharply. After a moment of hesitation, she reluctantly looked up at me. Her face was solemn and her big steel-grey eyes were flooded with emotion. I wasn't used to seeing my mother like that and it instantly made me feel guilty for raising my voice at her. Yes, she is my mother and I should be respectful towards her, but she was out of line and she needed to know that. Consequently, I decided to soften my tone; being angry or rude doesn't solve anything. It doesn't make people understand, it only causes offense and leads to more anguish. It is far more effective to speak calmly and rationally.

"I love her and she loves me and none of the rest of it matters. I am your daughter and it would mean a lot me, and to Jane, if you could find a way to support us and our relationship. Perhaps even one day you could be happy for us."

I waited for a moment, allowing my mother to digest what I had just told her and to give her the opportunity to make her peace. The moment silently settled and lingered for what felt like much more than a moment.

"I should go."

"I think that's probably for the best."

The door closed and my heart sank, suddenly feeling much heavier than it felt before. That was not the way I had expected my mother to react to the news. I had hoped that she would take it much, much better, but it seemed that Jane was right to worry after all.

"Jane, can we talk?"

Jane didn't utter word, so I decided to excuse myself, and go and check on Rosa. She was sitting on one of the stairs, peering through the gaps in the bannister.

"What are you doing out here, missy? I thought I asked you to go and wait for me upstairs."

"But I am upstairs, mommy. I can't be in trouble because you didn't tell me to go to my room."

"Okay, smarty pants." I replied as I sat down beside her.

Rosa leaned in towards me and planted a loving yet sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"What was that for?"

"I heard you and grandma fighting." She replied sadly as she grasped one of my hands.

Her cerulean eyes twinkled as she stared back at me. She was so sweet and innocent; I should have been the one protecting her, making her feel better.

"We weren't fighting, we were just having a heated discussion. It's nothing for you to worry about, grown-ups do this sort of thing all the time."

I tried downplay the situation as I didn't want Rosa to worry and I didn't want to tarnish her opinion of her grandmother.

"Then why do you look so sad, mommy?"

"Mommy is sad because grandma said some hurtful things."

"Why did she do that? It's not nice to say mean things."

"You're right, Rosa. It isn't nice to say mean things, but grandma didn't mean to upset me. I think she just didn't want to see me get hurt again. A mommy will say and do anything to protect her daughter."

Rosa smiled up at me and we pressed the tips of our noses together in an eskimo kiss.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too, mommy."

We sat hand in hand on the stairs for a moment, neither one of us moving nor retracting our hands. We just sat there, silently, contemplating what to do next.

"Mommy? Am I Lebanese?" Rosa piped up out of nowhere.

"Um, no, sweetie. Whatever gave you that idea?"

"I heard grandma say that you and Aunt Jane are Lebanese. Does that make me Lebanese as well?" She asked curiously, her eyebrows knitting in confusion.

"Oh. Grandma didn't say that we were Lebanese, she said that we were lesbians. You see, the words sound a little similar but they actually mean completely different things."

"So I'm not Lebanese?"

"No, you're American because you were born in America, not Lebanon."

"Am I a lesbian?"

"Only if you want to be. A lesbian is a girl who loves other girls."

"Like you love Aunt Jane?"

"Yes, sort of, but it's a little bit more complicated than that."

"Because you loved daddy too? Daddy is a boy."

"Yes, you're right, Rosa. You see, love is love. You can love boys or girls, or boys and girls. One day, you will meet someone and fall madly in love with them. It doesn't matter if that person is a boy or a girl, as long as you love them and they love you."

"That doesn't sound complicated at all, mommy."

* * *

"Is Rosa okay?"

"She's fine. A little disappointed that she's not Lebanese, but I think she'll get over it."

Jane furrowed her brow and looked at me expectantly. I slumped down beside her on the couch and filled her in on my little chat with Rosa. She lightly chuckled and I affectionately bumped my shoulder against hers. Jane was nervously ringing her hands, so I decided to slip my own hand into hers. She froze for a moment before interlocking our fingers.

"We're gonna have to talk about this now, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are."

"I don't know where to start."

"Neither do I."

* * *

**Jane's POV:**

We sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, staring into space. Maura still clasped my hand in hers. It was funny really, despite everything that had just happened, the atmosphere felt kind of calm and peaceful.

"I thought about running."

I don't really know why I said that. I mean, it was the truth, but I didn't mean to tell Maura that. The words sort of just tumbled out of my mouth.

"What?"

Maura's eyes darted up at me and I watched the pain swirl behind them. I felt another sudden pang of guilt. I caused that pain.

"When you went upstairs to check on Rosa, I thought about running away. I didn't, obviously, but I just thought you should know that I thought about it."

"Thank you for telling me. Honestly, I don't blame you for wanting to leave." Maura replied sadly as she pulled her had away.

"That's the thing, Maura. I didn't _want _to leave. I just thought I _should _leave because I know you'd be better off without me."

"That's not true, Jane. I could never be better off without you. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I can't bear the thought of ever being without you, so please, don't run away again."

"Your mom was right though, Maura. I put you through hell and you deserve so much better. I should have been there for you, but I wasn't, was I? I left you." I sobbed.

Maura threw her arms around me and held me tight. I could feel her heart thumping against mine, they were beating in harmony. I had no control over the waterfall of tears that were streaming down my face and dripping onto Maura's shoulder.

"But you came back. All of the pain, and all of the suffering, was worth it because you came back to me, Jane. Being here with you, having what we have now is worth it. You are worth it."

Her voice was stoic and steady, never wavering. Not once. Maura pulled away from me to look me in the eyes. Her hazel eyes glistened with unshed tears, and she had tracks of mascara running all down her cheeks. She leaned in to place a delicate and salty kiss on my lips.

"I was gone for three years, Maur."

"I know."

Of course she knew.

"I- I missed out on so much. You are such an incredible mother, such an incredible person, and you had to become all of that by yourself. You were alone because of me."

"I was never alone, Jane. I had your mom, Frankie, Tommy, Korsak, and even Jack. I had so many people there to help me."

"That's not what I meant, Maur. I promised you that I'd always be there for you and then I left. I should have been there for you. It should have been me, Maura."

Immediately she enveloped me in another tight hug, holding me as if she would never let go again.

"You're here now, Jane. You're here now." She soothed as she stroked the back of my head.

"I'm so sorry, Maur. I'm just so sorry."

I held Maura impossibly close. I choked back a sob but my lips continued to quiver.

"Hey, enough of that, okay?" She smiled through her tears. "You have to stop apologising and learn to forgive yourself. No matter how much you want to, you can't turn back the clock. You left, but you came back again and you have been there for me and Rosa ever since. Nothing else matters."

"Do you think that one day, you'll be able to find it in your heart to forgive me? I mean, I know I was a jerk and I treated you like crap, Maur and – and I don't think I deserve it but–"

"Oh Jane, I forgave you a long time ago."

She peppered me with kisses and each one seemed to lift the burden from my shoulders a little bit more. Maura is extraordinary, there is no other word to describe her. My heart fluttered inside my chest as Maura pulled out of the embrace to place a tender kiss on my lips. It was more healing than passionate, but it was exactly what I needed.

"I love you, Maura."

"I love you too, Jane. Always and forever."

"Maura, I don't want to ruin the moment or anything, but I have to know… Why didn't you tell me about Jennifer?"

"It was a long time ago, Jane. I wasn't hiding her from you, she just never came up. I'm sure you haven't told me about all of your exes."

"But Maura, she did come up. The first time we made love, you said _'I haven't been with a woman before.'_ You said that, Maura."

"No, I didn't, Jane. I would never have said that because it wouldn't have been the truth. I would never lie to you, Jane. That night, it was our first date and I was really, really nervous because I had only been on a few dates since Rosa was born. The date went _really _well and things were moving so quickly. And I panicked… because none of my other dates made it past dinner."

"Wow… So when we uh – you know… That was the first time you –"

I stumbled on my words, so Maura stepped in to help.

"Had sex since Rosa was born? Yes. That's what I was trying to tell you."

I replayed the events of that night in my head. Maura was right, she didn't say that she had never been with a woman before.

**_"I'm sorry, Maur. Did I do something wrong?"_**

**_"No. You didn't do anything wrong, Jane… I want you. God, I want you Jane. It's just, well, I haven't –"_**

**_"Hey, it's okay. I haven't either, but we can stop."_**

"But I cut you off. I wrongly assumed that you were nervous because you had never slept with a woman before. I mean, that's why I so nervous. Looking back on it though, I should have known it wasn't your first time… You knew exactly what you were doing!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jennifer. I hope it doesn't change anything for you."

"It doesn't. We both have histories, Maura. As long as the past stays in the past, I'm fine with it."

"I may have had other sexual partners in the past, but it's different with you, Jane. I've never felt anything like it before."

"I know exactly what you mean, Maur." I smiled.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have found you… I still can't believe that you, the incredibly sexy Maura Isles, remained celibate for four whole years!"

"Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"Because you love sex!"

"I do." She chuckled. "But it's hard to meet people when you have a child; you're either too busy or your date decides that you come with too much baggage. That's not the only reason why I waited though, I wanted it to mean something. I wanted to have it all and I didn't want to settle for less anymore."

"Well, was it worth the wait?" I grinned.

"Absolutely. It was so much better than I ever imagined it would be. You wouldn't believe how nervous I was, Jane. It had been such a long time for me and I was worried that, when you saw what was under the clothes, you wouldn't find me attractive anymore. I'm not the woman I used to be… I'm a mom, and don't get me wrong, I am so proud of that, but I have a huge C-section scar and ugly stretch marks. But you saw past all of that, you made me feel sexy again, Jane."

"Maur, you should feel sexy. You are so beautiful. Always have been. Always will be. A few teeny-tiny stretch marks and a scar are never going to change that, Maura. I get it though, I used to hate my scars too. They reminded me of Hoyt, and how weak he made me feel."

I felt Maura squeeze my hand and trace my scar with her thumb. It was an action that she had carried out many times, unconsciously, but it meant so much more this time.

"But one day, I realised that those scars don't define me, just like your scars don't define you. They are just teeny, tiny, insignificant parts of us now."

"I think that your scars show the world just how strong and brave you really are, Jane. They are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of strength. You could have given up, but you didn't. You kept fighting and you survived. That demonstrates incredible strength, Jane."

"You're a survivor too, Maur. You are so much stronger than you know. You give me strength, a strength I never had on my own." I paused for a moment before continuing.

"You were content to let me shine, that's your way. You always walked a step behind. So I was the one with all the glory, while you were the one with all the strength. A beautiful face without a name for so long. A beautiful smile to hide the pain."

"Jane? Did you just quote Wind Beneath My Wings?" She chuckled.

"Maybe!"

I cleared my throat and began to serenade her in a very eccentric manner.

_"Did you ever know that you're my hero, _

_and everything I would like to be? _

_I can fly higher than an eagle, _

_'cause you are the wind beneath my wings."_

"That was… really something!" She joked.

"Hold the applause! I've not finished yet!"

I moved round to kneel in front of Maura and held both of her hands tightly. I started singing again, but this time, it was more serious.

_"It might have appeared to go unnoticed,_

_but I've got it all here in my heart._

_I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it._

_I would be nothing without you."_

Maura closed the gap between us by lunging forwards, and capturing my lips in a sweet and sensual kiss.

Without warning, Maura jumped to her feet.

"No! Don't go!" I whined, hating the loss of contact.

"I'll be back in just a second. There's something I want to show you."

Maura stayed true to her word and before I knew it, she was sitting next to me on the couch once again. She placed a big heavy book in my lap.

"You want to know everything that happened over the last three years? Well, it's all in here."

"Wow! I remember this! It's Rosa's memory book."

**_"Oh wow! What is it?" Maura asked excitedly as she unwrapped the gift from ma._**

**_"It's a baby memory book. You put ultrasounds, photos, journal entries and all that sort of stuff in it. I made one for each of my three kids. When you look at it years from now, you'll never believe they were that small." Ma smiled._**

**_I watched Maura's face fall as she flicked trough the blank pages. I knew what she was thinking – she was scared she wouldn't live to see her baby grow up. Following the placenta previa diagnosis, I moved in with Maura. I knew how dangerous it could be for her and the baby, and I hated the thought of her being scared and alone. I wanted to take away her fear and her pain, but I couldn't_****_._**

**_Maura exhaled shakily and I knew she was trying not to cry._**

**_ "Maura." I sighed as I softly stroked her forearm._**

**_She looked up at me, her eyes full of fear and sadness. It broke my heart. Today was her baby shower. This was supposed to be a happy day. _**

**_Maura nodded her head sadly and tried to give me her best smile. Even that couldn't hide the pain behind her eyes._**

**_"You okay?" Ma asked, gently placing her palm on Maura's shoulder._**

**_Maura nodded again, but this time she looked down, desperately avoiding eye contact. I watched as she blinked back tears and promptly wiped her eyes. She looked up once again and I couldn't help but notice that her eyes were red and puffy and full of tears. Tears that Maura was too stubborn to let fall. _**

**_She sighed again deeply._**

**_"Thank you Angela. I love it." She smiled at ma. "And – and I just want you both to know that I love you very much." She sobbed._**

**_"We love you too, Maura. We love you too." I emphasised, trying to ignore the tears that were threatening to spill over my own eyes._**

**_I pulled Maura into my arms. She was so fragile and delicate. I just wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap or something. I wanted to protect her, but I couldn't. There was nothing I could do to keep her safe and the feeling of helplessness almost killed me._**

**_"Okay, hold on! No more crying. I'm taking a picture, no crying for the picture." Ma ordered as she quickly dabbed away her own tears._**

"Look at you, Maur! You were glowing." I smiled as I looked at the photograph from the baby shower.

"If by glowing you mean growing, then maybe! I was huge."

"You were pregnant! And you weren't even that big."

I turned the page to find the first photo of baby Rosa. I had taken it while she was in the NICU and Maura was still in a coma. I didn't want Maura to miss out on anything, so I made sure that I took lots of photos. It was sort of like she had done the same for me.

"I can't believe how tiny she was." Maura smiled.

"Me neither. She's grown into such a great kid and that's all because of you, Maur."

"I made Rosa another memory book, your mom helped me put it together. It's full of pictures of you. She keeps it tucked away under her pillow."

"Really?"

"Yes. I always wanted my daughter to know her brave and strong and badass Aunt Jane. She was so young when you left, and it broke my heart to think that she wouldn't know you. I used to tell her stories about you, and I asked your mom and brothers to do the same. She idolises you Jane, you're a real-life superhero."

"Did she ask about me?"

"All the time. _'Where is Aunt Jane? Why can't I see her? When is she coming back? Does Aunt Jane have a phone? Why can't I talk to her? Does Aunt Jane eat kale?'_ She talked about you incessantly."

"Does Aunt Jane eat kale?! What on earth made her ask that?!"

"She used to hate kale and I told her it would make her big and strong, so she asked if you ate it. I told her you did and now she loves it."

"Maura!" I gasped. "How could you lie to her like that? Everyone knows I don't eat kale!"

"Well, now you do!"

"Oh man! This sucks! I thought you couldn't lie anyway."

"Technically it wasn't a lie… You did eat kale that one time –"

"Yeah and I spat it right back out again! I haven't even looked at the stuff since!"

Maura and I chuckled.

"I told Rosa that you couldn't be with her because you were saving the world. I explained to her that you loved her very much and that you would have given anything to be with her." Maura explained softly, her voice filled with love and sincerity.

"Thanks Maur."

"For what?"

"For making me out to be a hero. I was a jackass and you had every right to tell her that. Hell, I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't want to tell her about me at all."

"You made a mistake, Jane. I may not have liked what you did, but you were still my favourite person. Always and forever."

I leaned in to kiss Maura and our lips were about to collide when we were interrupted by a knock at the door. Maura smoothed out the imaginary creases in her dress before answering.

"Angela! I didn't know you were coming over."

'Oh great, now my mother's here!' I thought to myself.

"I was just in the neighbourhood and I thought I'd stop by."

"Well, it's always a pleasure to see you. Please come in."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

She was. I fully intended to have a good old fashioned make-out session with Maura. But another spanner was thrown in the works. A loud and annoying spanner in the shape of my mother.

"No, of course not. I was just showing Jane Rosa's memory book." Maura replied politely.

She clearly wasn't as frustrated as I was.

"Oh how cute! Look at those chubby cheeks!" Ma cooed as she plonked herself down on the couch in between me and Maura.

"So, you were just in the neighbourhood? Say, ma, what brings you to Beacon Hill?"

"Well, I was about to go pick up T.J. when I had an idea."

"Oh boy."

"Hey! You didn't even let me finish!"

"Didn't have to! I know you, and I know all about your crazy plans and ideas!" I joked.

Ma jabbed me with her elbow.

"Ow!"

Maura chuckled as I rubbed my arm, pretending to be more hurt than I was.

"As I was saying, it's such a warm and sunny day, and I thought it would be nice to take both of my grandbabies to the park. It's always more fun for T.J. when he has someone else to play with! I just can't keep up with him!"

"That sounds like a lovely idea. I'm sure Rosa would love to go. Thank you for inviting her, Angela."

"Maura, what about your mother? She came all this way to spend time with you and Rosa."

"Jane, you saw how she was earlier. I doubt she'll be back anytime soon. I'll just go and get Rosa for you, Angela." Maura smiled before heading upstairs.

"Constance is here?" Ma asked after Maura had left.

"Well, she was. She left about an hour ago."

"That's a shame, it would've been nice to say hello."

"I'm not so sure, ma."

"What do you mean? We've always got on so well."

"Let's just say that she doesn't approve of me dating Maura."

"It's a lot to take in, Janie. I'm sure she'll warm up to it all when she sees how happy you make each other. I mean, I saw this coming but I would imagine it can be quite a shock to suddenly find out that your daughter has a girlfriend. Your father was horrified –"

"What?! When did you speak to pop?"

"At Tommy's wedding. He saw the two of you dancing together and hit the roof! He charged straight at me and started yelling about how he needed to do something!"

"What? Why would he need to do anything? Last time I checked, there are only two people in this relationship and he isn't one of 'em!"

"I know that. That's why I told him that all he needed to do was be supportive. Then I went over and kissed you both!"

I should have known pop would have something to say about this. If I'd known, I'd have given him something to talk about! Not that he even had the balls to come and talk to me himself. He's a coward and a waste of space.

"Why didn't you tell me this before, ma?"

"Because I didn't want to upset you, baby. You just looked so happy and I'd missed that. I didn't want an asshole like him spoiling such a beautiful moment."

"Thanks ma, but Constance doesn't have a problem with me being a woman. She has a problem with me being, well, me."

"What's wrong with who you are?! You are funny and kind and beautiful… I mean, maybe you could use a bit of make-up every now and again –"

"Ma!"

"I'm just saying!"

"Yeah, well no one asked! Anyway, she has a problem with me because I hurt Maura. She thinks I'm bad news."

"Oh, I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah, Janie, I think I do. Maura is like a daughter to me, so of course I was concerned at first - I saw how sad she was when you left. I watched her try to pick herself back up again and she was finally in a good place when you came back. I didn't want to see her get hurt again. But you know what else I saw? I saw how much you love her, how happy you make her, and I knew that you would never hurt her like that again."

"If only Constance could see that."

"Just give her time. She'll come around." Ma replied softly as she lovingly draped her arm around me.

"Thanks ma."

"Rosa! Please be careful on the stairs!" Maura cried out worriedly from upstairs.

Rosa didn't answer. Instead, all I could hear was her hurtling down the stairs like a little baby elephant and Maura chasing after her.

"Nanny Angela!" Rosa cheered breathily when she appeared a fraction of a second later.

"Rosa, what have I told you about running down the stairs?" Maura scolded.

"That it's too dangerous because I could fall and hurt myself. I'm sorry, mommy. I was just excited." Rosa murmured sadly as her bottom lip quivered.

Maura's expression softened and she bent down to smooth the hair out of Rosa's face.

"I know, sweetie. Just be a bit more careful next time, okay?"

"Okay mommy. I promise."

Rosa extended her little finger and Maura did the same, entwining their fingers to make a pinky promise. Maura kissed Rosa on the forehead and helped her to zip up her jacket.

"You be a good girl for Nanny Angela and mommy will see you later." Maura smiled before kissing Rosa again. "I love you."

"I love you too, mommy." Rosa chirped.

Rosa skipped towards ma, grabbed her hand and practically dragged her towards the front door.

"Well, I guess we're off! Bye girls!" Ma laughed, closing the door behind her.

Maura was practically catatonic, just staring at the door.

"You do know that ma will bring her back in a few hours, right?!" I joked as I crept up behind Maura.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder, startling her from her thoughts.

"I know, I know." She smiled. "It's just hard to let her go sometimes." She sighed into my embrace.

"I get it. But hey, she'll have an amazing afternoon at the park with ma and TJ." I quickly span Maura around so that our faces were merely inches apart. "And you know what that means?"

"That your mother is going to buy her ice cream with lots of sprinkles and spoil her appetite!" Maura gasped in horror.

"No! Well, probably... but that's not what I was on about, you goofball! It means we finally have the house to ourselves." I added coyly, pulling her closer by the hips.

"Oh. Oh!" Maura exclaimed, finally realising what I was implying.

A coquettish grin flashed across her lips and before I knew it, her lips were crashing against mine. Our hands desperately roamed across each other's bodies, leaving waves of electricity in their wake. A guttural moan filled the room and I had no idea if it had escaped Maura's lips or my own.

"How about we take this into the bedroom?" Maura sighed seductively.

I could see the unmistakable passion and desire burning in her eyes and it made my whole body ache for her. I had yearned to hear her say those words all day. It was like music to my ears. Sweet, sweet music.

"I thought you'd never ask." I beamed, my voice raspy with arousal.

I swiftly scooped Maura up in my arms, causing her to giggle with sheer delight as I carried her into our bedroom. I closed the door behind us with my foot and gently lowered Maura onto the bed. She gazed up at me with big, round, pleading eyes. I pressed our bodies together, latched my lips onto her neck and started sucking hungrily. Maura moaned contently and I could feel her pulse racing a mile a minute beneath my lips. Clothes were ripped off and thrown around the room. It was thrilling, magical, and incredibly natural. We fitted together so well that it was almost like we were made for each other. Who am I kidding? We were made for each other. I began to trail kisses down Maura's toned body, across her clavicle, her breasts, and the vast expanse of her abdomen. Her soft, creamy skin felt incredible against my lips, and her hands, god those incredible hands, felt amazing when they smoothed over every curve of my body. Maura writhed under my touch and it took everything I had not to stumble over the edge too soon.

"I need you, Jane." Maura gasped in between moans, her voice loaded with lust.

Oh god. That face. That body. That voice. Maura had awakened something within me and, of course, she didn't need to ask me twice. I was onto her and all over her. I could feel myself drowning in her love and I savoured every second of it.

* * *

"It's such a shame that we can't go to the Eastern European art exhibition anymore. I was really looking forward to it." Maura sighed as we entered the precinct the following morning.

"Yeah, such a shame." I added sarcastically.

"It is!"

"Then why don't you go?"

"Good one, Jane."

"I'm serious, Maur. You'd get to see the art you love and build bridges with your mother. You'd kill two birds with one stone."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to mend the relationship with my mother, Jane, and I can't exactly go to the exhibition on my own –"

"Nuh-uh! Nope! Not gonna happen!"

"But _Jane._" She pleaded, knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to refuse. "Please come with me. It's only one night. You know you want to!"

"Why?! Why would I want to do that?"

"Because you love me… and I'll totally make it worth your while!"

"Fine. But you owe me. Big time." I huffed.

Maura grinned in response. God that smile. That woman. She is going to be the death of me. In a good way though.

* * *

"Oh, you surprise me. I wouldn't have thought you'd be the type I'd catch reading… Actually, that sentence is finished."

"Ha ha very funny, Gilford. For your information, I am an avid reader."

"Is that so? What was the last book you read?"

"This one, duh!" I stated matter-of-factly as I waved the book in his face.

"Contemporary Eastern European Art. Sounds riveting."

"Oh it is." I replied sarcastically. "It's a catalogue for an exhibition I've gotta go to called 'Jane is made to look like a dumbass.'"

"You should just stay here."

I scowled at Gilford in response.

"I've been trying to brush up on some of the artists before tonight but this isn't helping. Exhibit 13 - name of piece: untitled, origin: unsure, artist: unknown. At least Red Sox magazine gives you the facts!"

"Why are you going to this thing anyway?"

"Because Maura asked me to."

"Man, you are so whipped!"

"Am not!"

"Sure." He remarked as he raised his eyebrows knowingly.

"Whatever. You're just jealous." I huffed.

I heard my phone vibrate on my desk and looked down to see Maura's face flash up on the screen. I couldn't help but smile.

"Hey Maur, what's up? Honey, slow down. You're speaking too fast for me! An emergency? I'll be right there."

Gilford got out his phone and opened an app to play a whip sound effect as he pretended to crack an imaginary whip.

"You've been waiting a whole month to do that, haven't you?"

"You bet!"

"Jerk."

"I prefer opportunist."

"Shut it, Gilford."

* * *

"Maura? Where are you?"

"In the bedroom." She called out to me.

"Ooh, I love these kinds of emergencies!" I practically squealed with excitement.

I raced towards the bedroom, expecting to find my gorgeous, sexy, seductress of a girlfriend sprawled out on the bed wearing some sort of attire that left very little to the imagination. My temperature spiked at the thought of what was waiting for me behind that door. The suspense was killing me. I slowly opened the bedroom door, the final barrier between me and my girl.

"Really?! This was the emergency!" I cried with disappointment.

Maura was standing in the middle of the room wearing super sexy lace underwear, but it was abundantly clear that sex was off the table right now. She seemed anxious as she stared at the mountainous piles of dresses dumped on the bed, the contortion of her face suggesting that she was in some sort of crisis.

"Yes! I need your help! I'm so nervous, I don't know what to wear."

"Well, clothes might be an idea." I quipped.

"Can you please just hold back your sarcastic comments for one minute?"

"Gee, I don't know, Maura. That's asking a lot." I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Maybe this was a bad idea, Jane."

"What? Are you kidding me, Maur? You were so hyped for this expedition thingy."

"Exhibition."

"Same thing."

"Jane, my mother will be there."

"I know, honey." I stated softly as I steadied Maura's shoulders. "But you love contemporary Eastern European art, and you've been looking forward to this for weeks. I mean, you kept telling me how _awesome_ it's gonna be and how we just _have_ to go. Are you really gonna let miserable old Medusa stop you from having fun?"

"My mother isn't a gorgon, Jane."

"Really? Cause it sure felt like I turned to stone when I looked into her eyes!"

Fortunately my joke elicited a slight chuckle from Maura. It was ever so faint, but a chuckle is still a chuckle.

"Look Maur. I know you're hurt and I know she isn't your favourite person right now. She sure as hell isn't mine. But I love you Maura, and I know you will regret it if you don't get to see Balkan Baroque in the flesh. You're not some uncouth philistine now, are you?" I asked, doing my best impression of Constance Isles.

"No, I am not." Maura sighed.

"Well then, get your un-philistine ass back in that closet and put on a pretty dress!"

Maura leaned over and kissed my cheek. As she pulled away, I felt my hand reach up to cup my cheek and gently trace the ghost of her kiss.

"It's so sweet of you to do this for me, Jane. I know contemporary Eastern European art isn't your thing and I would imagine that you are feeling equally nauseous at the thought of being in the same room as my mother. Especially after all of the awful things she said."

"I'd do anything for you, Maura. I know how important this exhibition is to you, so it's important to me too."

"Thank you, Jane."

Maura beamed at me. Her signature smile – the reason why I walk willingly into crap like this. Into the fiery pits of hell. With no shoes on. I would do anything to make her smile. To make her happy. God, Gilford was right, I am whipped. But you know what? I kind of like it. I like having someone that I would do anything for, drop everything for. And I know Maura would do the same for me. That's how it's supposed to be when you love someone. You'll do all sorts of crazy things and you won't think twice about doin' it, all in the name of love. And that my friend, is a beautiful thing.

"How about this?"

Maura re-emerged from her closet wearing a black bodycon dress with a coral and kaki camouflage/butterfly print. It was smart and sexy; the coral making her complexion pop, and the tight material hugging every curve. She looked stunning.

"It looks gorgeous. You look gorgeous. Job done!" I exclaimed, giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up.

"No. Take it seriously. It's - it's - I don't know! I hate it."

"Yeah..." I frowned.

"It's boring." She added.

Boring? How could a dress like that ever be considered boring?! It wasn't just some boring black dress, it had a splash of colour for god's sake!

"And - and it makes me look kind of... Fat." She sighed sadly as she scrutinised herself in the mirror.

"You're right. It is boring and you look _ginormous_. I can't believe how fat you look. What - what do you weigh? Like 115 pounds?"

"116.8."

"Wow, no wonder."

Maura scowled and huffed as she stormed off into her closet to get changed again.

"What do you think of this one?"

She was wearing a low-cut, dark green, satin dress with crisscross straps.

"Lovely. Now let's go!" I exclaimed as I tried to hurry her out of the bedroom.

Maura caught sight of her reflection and gasped in horror.

"No! It shows off far too much cleavage!"

"Does it? I hadn't noticed."

Okay, I lied. Of course I noticed, Maura has great boobs! I certainly wasn't going to complain that her outfit was too revealing! At that moment, I realised that this was probably going to take a while, so I decided to take a seat and make myself comfortable.

"Ta-da!"

"Well, it definitely doesn't show off too much cleavage." I sighed as I looked Maura up and down.

She was wearing a plain navy dress with a Peter Pan collar.

"No, I'm not wearing this! It's too frumpy!"

"Urgh! Give me strength!" I huffed as I sank further into the chair.

"How about this one?"

It was a simple black chiffon dress. It was neither spectacular nor offensive. It was just a dress. They were all just dresses.

"Awesome!"

"No! Why didn't you tell me these heels were too promiscuous?!"

"Because I didn't think they were! Just don't wear heals then! Problem solved!"

"Problem not solved! I have to wear heals otherwise I'll look too short standing next to you!"

"Seriously Maura?! Would you rather look like a hooker or a dwarf?"

"Warning." She stated sternly, pointing her finger at me. "That is a warning."

"Maybe Korsak should start calling you Grumpy instead of Doc." I muttered under my breath.

She threw some serious shade as she left the room.

"This one?"

"Ew no!" I exclaimed as I scrunched up my face to emphasise my disgust.

"What about this one?"

"Trick question, isn't it?! It's the same dress! You think you're so clever but you can't fool me, Maur!"

"It's not the same dress, Jane! This is the Giambattista Valli jacquard stretch-knit dress!"

"Of course it is! How could I be so stupid?! Thank you for pointing that out to me! "

"This is painful!" She exhaled.

"You're telling me!" I retorted as I crossed my arms in frustration.

"I don't think this one is too bad."

"It looks great, Maur."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Good... How about the butterfly one?"

"The butterfly one?" I tried to sound enthusiastic but all I could muster was a strained whimper.

"Yes!"

"Yeah... The first one you tried on?" I said through gritted teeth, trying to hold back my annoyance. "The one that was boring and made you look fat, but wasn't actually boring and didn't make you look fat, that one?"

"Yes. Which do you prefer?"

"I don't know, Maura. I'm actually starting to go bat-crap crazy over here!"

"Okay, I like the butterfly one."

"Okay."

"Oh my god!" I muttered under my breath.

"Okay, okay. Let's go with this one then!"

"You look stunning. Absolutely breath-taking and really skinny. But not too skinny! Just skinny enough. You look amazing."

"Really?"

"Yes."

'Please don't change your mind again. Please don't change your mind again.' I mentally chanted.

"Okay, thanks." She let out a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

"So what are you going to wear?"

* * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into wearing a dress!"

"You look stunning, Jane. So poised and elegant."  
"Yeah, well, I'm not sure you'll be saying that after you've seen me fix my wedgie for the gazillionth time! Seriously, this sucks!" I complained as I wrestled with my disobedient (and apparently disappearing!) underwear.

"Oh god. Can't you do this in the bathroom?" Maura groaned as she rolled her eyes.

"What? No. It'll just take a second."

Maura frowned, clearly unimpressed, but she moved to cover me anyway.

"There, all good! I told you it would only take a second."

"It took you 10.5 seconds. That's 9.5 seconds over your estimation, Jane."

"Alright Clock King!"

"King?! I thought you would have realised by now that I am a woman, Jane."

"Of course I know you're a woman, Maura! Clock King is a comic book character. He has a rigid sense of order and timing and punctuality. It was a joke. You know, another one of my witty remarks. It's a lot less funny when I have to explain it to you!" I huffed.

"Well, I'm sorry that my lack of knowledge of comic book characters disappoints you, Jane." Maura stated, as if she was genuinely hurt by my offhand comment.

Thank god I didn't tell her Clock King was a supervillain. Maura looked down at the ground. A tell-tale sign that she was trying not to cry.

"Holy crap! You're not gonna cry on me again, are you?"

"No, I'm trying not to. It's just that my amygdala and my lacrimal gland have a connection that I can't really control."

I reached out to grasp Maura's hands. I thought she might make eye contact with me, but her gaze remained firmly fixed on the floor.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you disappoint me. You don't. You definitely don't."

"Really?" She asked incredulously, and when she finally looked up at me, I could see her eyes twinkling with tears.

"Really. I was just being snappy."

I should have known better, really. I know how sensitive Maura is. I grew up with two brothers, I work in a male-dominated profession, and I'm not all that sensitive. Sometimes I forget that I need to watch my words when I'm around Maura. I don't ever want to upset her, even if it is by accident.

"Come on, let's go and find Balkan Baroque. I'd love to go say hello to him!" I joked, mocking myself for thinking that Balkan Baroque was an artist.

Maura chuckled heartily as she linked arms with me.

"I can't believe you said that! Balkan for a first name? I mean, who in their right mind would name a child Balkan?!"

"I don't know… Someone who loves the Balkans! And it's not that bad. Balkan Rizzoli. I kind of like it."

"Please tell me you're not thinking of changing your name to Balkan Rizzoli?!"

"No. Don't be ridiculous!" I snorted. "I'm saving that one for the next one." I added seriously.

"The next one what?"

"Kid."

"We are not naming our child Balkan. I mean, we aren't even planning on having a child but if we were, there is no way I would allow you to call him or her Balkan!"

"Why not? It's unique, sounds badass and could work for a boy or a girl!"

"Because… Because… Because it's child abuse!"

"Come on, Maur. It would really keep people guessing… Were you named after the peninsula? Nope, just some sculpture my mom thought was a person! Plus, it's not like it rhymes with anything bad… What does it rhyme with? Ooh Falcon! Another great name! If we have twins, they can be Falcon and Balkan!"

"You're messing with me again, aren't you?"

"Of course I am, you nutball! I really had you there, didn't I?!" I taunted smugly.

Before Maura could answer, the couple standing beside us moved to go and view another sculpture. Their departure left us a meter or so away from Medusa. The gorgon. The one and only Constance Isles. Maura glared at her. She gave her one of her best death stares, something I hadn't seen very often. Constance looked confused. Not because she didn't understand why Maura was mad. That definitely wasn't it, it was something else.

"Maura, Jane. I didn't expect to see you here." She greeted formally.

"Why wouldn't we be here? We've been looking forward to this exhibition for weeks. It would have been foolish to allow your discontentment of our relationship to prevent us from attending." Maura retorted bitterly.

"I concur." Constance smiled softly before returning her gaze to one of the sculptures.

"Talk to her!" I whispered gruffly in Maura's ear.

"What?! No!" Maura gasped, causing Constance to whip round and face us.

We stood in silence for a while. Maura too stubborn to talk. Constance too embarrassed to talk. And as for me, well, I just didn't really have much to say.

"Well, I'm just gonna go to the bar." I informed as I started to back away slowly.

"Not on my account, I hope." Constance replied.

Unsure of how to respond, I sought help from two of my closest allies, my wit and dry sense of humour.

"Nope, I always buy my own drinks." I remarked.

"Jane, wait! There's something I want to say and I think both of you should hear it. I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday. Though my concern was not unwarranted, I should have acted better. I should have been supportive. I want so much for you, Maura. And if you believe that Jane makes you happy, then I have to trust that and I will be happy for you. You are my daughter. My brilliant, beautiful, and benevolent daughter. I just didn't want you to get hurt again. I wanted to shelter you and protect you from further heartache."

The sincerity in her tone echoed throughout the gallery and it was clear that Constance Isles did in fact mean every word.

"I appreciate your concern but I am a grown woman and I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, especially when it comes to matters of the heart." Maura replied honestly.

"I know that, Maura. You have been mature and capable since you were a toddler. You always knew what you wanted, and you made sure you got it, no matter what. You never needed me to help you. I know that you strive for excellence and if you see something in Jane, then it must be there. I'm not good at this, Maura. There is a fine line between not caring enough and caring too much, and I have been dancing between the two sectors your whole life. There's no formula for it. There's no rational process. It's just trial and error. I'm trying, Maura, but I'm still learning. I really am truly sorry that I overstepped my bounds, and I am very sorry that it caused you so much pain. And to you, Jane, I wish to extend my sincerest apologies. Having had some time to reflect and process, I have realised that I was in no position to judge you or to comment on your character, and I certainly should not have said the things that I said. You were there for my daughter when I wasn't, and not too long ago, you were the one to show me the error of my ways. You gave me the benefit of the doubt, and I should have extended the same courtesy to you."

Suddenly, I had the overwhelming urge to say something. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but I could feel it bubbling up inside me.

"Constance? I want you to know that I get it. I get why you reacted the way that you did. I'm not gonna lie, your words hurt. But I think they hurt so much because you were right. You didn't say anything that I hadn't already thought myself."

"Jane, you don't have to say anything –"

"Actually, Constance, I do. Not just for you, but for me too. I need you to know something - I love your daughter. I love Maura more than life itself. I know I hurt her before and I will never forgive myself for that, but I swear I will never hurt her again. I know that we will be together for a really long time because I plan to spend the rest of my life making it up to her."

"I believe you, Jane." She smiled earnestly.

"Good. Now listen, I can't speak for Maura, but I personally don't care about what was said. Not anymore. It's in the past, I've made peace with it, and I want to move forward. All I care about now is where we go from here." I stated firmly.

"Me too."

"Me three."

"Great. So we all want to forgive and forget? Bury the hatchet?" I queried optimistically.

"Yes, I do." Constance stated definitively.

"Me too." I agreed.

I glanced over at Maura. She remained silent and had an unreadable expression plastered across her face.

"What about you, Maur?" I probed and Constance looked at her daughter expectantly.

"Studies indicate that holding a grudge for long periods of time can lead to a plethora of health problems, including hypertension. Not only that, but ruminating about grudges is both stressful and unpleasant."

"Okay, talking google. Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"Fantastic. I'm gonna go grab a beer. Can I get either of you anything?"

"No, please, Jane. Let me. I'll put it on my account!" Constance joked.

"Constance, you don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. You're family now. Maura, what would you like?"

"Some wine would be nice, thank you mother."

"Red or white?"

"Surprise me." She sighed politely.

"Okay then, I'll be back shortly."

"See, I told you everything would be fine. Doesn't it feel good to build bridges?" I smiled as I turned towards Maura.

"It does. It really does. I mean, it will take some time for the relationship between my mother and me to get back on track, however, now we are moving in the right direction and that's all because of you. Thank you, Jane."

"It was nothing." I replied nonchalantly.

"It was everything. What you just did for me – what you just did for us – was remarkable. You're remarkable, Jane Rizzoli." Maura stressed before placing a tender, loving kiss upon my lips.

Constance returned moments later carrying a tray with our drinks on it. First she handed Maura her wine, which Maura graciously accepted. Then she handed me my beer; I was about to bring the bottle to my lips when Constance grabbed my attention.

"I would like to propose a toast. To new beginnings, love and commitment."

"I'll drink to that!" I exclaimed.

"As will I." Maura smiled at both me and Constance.

That was definitely a step in the right direction.

The sound of glasses clinking against each other echoed in my ears and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

"I think you two make a beautiful couple and I wish you every happiness."

"Thank you mother. That means a lot." Maura smiled again.

Yes, things were definitely looking up.

* * *

**A.N. Okay, so that chapter was pretty long but I didn't want to split it up and leave you hanging! I have been working on a few ideas for a while now, however, I haven't had a chance to use them yet because they didn't fit in the story so far. I have therefore decided to continue this story as a series of one-shots. It will still involve the same characters and the follow developments in Jane and Maura's relationship. I just wanted to write some nice, fluffy chapters and this seemed like the best way to do so! I'll even drop a few hints as to what's in store for J&amp;M as I am super excited! The next chapter will be called 'Snowfall' and the one after that will be called 'A Thousand Chrysanthemums.' Make of that what you will! Please give me prompts/ideas for future one-shots - I mean, I have a number of my own but I just wanted to give you all the chance to have your say.**

**P.S. I'm sorry for any mistakes in this chapter (there are probably quite a few!)... I have been staring at it for days and it's making my eyes go a little crazy!**

**P.P.S. Some of you may like to know that I am writing another Rizzles fic at the moment. It is my take on how 2X13, Seventeen Ain't So Sweet, should have gone! Watch this space!**


	17. Snowfall

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, I really enjoy reading them and appreciate constructive comments. I just wanted to quickly address one of the guest reviews: you are absolutely right, the last chapter felt a little disjointed to me as well. I was trying to squeeze in as much as possible and consequently the chapter didn't flow as well as I would have liked. I will try to do better in future :) additionally, I would also like to say that I know Maura and Jane are 'grown-up, independent women' and I never meant to do a disservice to the characters by portraying them as being anything less than that. **

**P.S. I know that it isn't Christmas yet but I really wanted to write this chapter! Nothing serious, heavy or dramatic... Just some good old Rizzoli family fun!**

"Wake up, mommy! Wake up!"

I was stirred from my slumber by an enthusiastic whisper and a gentle tap on the shoulder. I reluctantly opened my eyes and found myself face-to-face with my unnaturally alert four-and-a-half-year-old. Her bright blue eyes were a stark contrast to the dullness of the room.

"Good morning Rosa. What time is it?" I whispered softly and offered her a bleary smile as I rubbed my eyes.

"I don't know, mommy, but it's snowing!"

"It is?" I muttered.

"Uh-huh! Can we go play outside now? _Please_ mommy?" Rosa begged, excitement radiating from her.

It was very difficult to muster up any enthusiasm before sunrise, however, as I looked into those infinite pools of blue, it was much harder to say no and disappoint my daughter.

"Okay, sweetie. But you have to wrap up extra warm, okay?"

"Okay mommy! I'll be right back!"

Rosa leaned over to place a quick kiss upon my cheek and before I knew it, the little blonde blur had already whizzed out of the room. I let out a quiet chuckle before glancing over at the sleeping form beside me. Her raven ringlets were sprawled across her face, tickling her with each inhale and causing her nose to wrinkle. It was adorable to watch, and just when I thought she couldn't get any sweeter, a small, subtle smile leapt across her lips. Even while she slept, her beauty was mesmerising. I continued to watch in total awe and adoration as I contemplated waking her up. It seemed like such a cruel thing to do; she looked so peaceful and I knew that she must have been exhausted, but she would be so disappointed if Rosa and I went to play in the snow without her. I decided that waking Jane up now was the lesser of two evils… I could not have dealt with her whining and pouting all day because she'd missed out on all the fun!

"Hey, wake up beautiful." I whispered against her cheek.

As Jane began to stir, I planted a soft kiss in the corner of her mouth. Without opening her eyes, a dazzling smile danced across Jane's lips, a smile so warm it made my heart melt.

"Umm good morning." She yawned happily as her eyes fluttered open. "Why are we awake so early? Even the sun hasn't started its shift yet!"

"Well, a little bird told me that it's snowing and I thought _maybe_ you'd want to come outside and play with us."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Jane grinned before pulling me in for another kiss.

* * *

"Come on mommy! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!"

"Not just yet, missy! You still have to put on your hat and gloves –"

"But mommy!"

"No buts. Go upstairs and grab your things and then I promise we can go outside and play."

"Fine." Rosa huffed as she ran back upstairs again.

"Remind you of anyone?" I chuckled, raising my eyebrows pointedly at Jane.

"Nope. I have no idea who you're talking about." Jane joked as she took a sip of coffee.

"You know, you've really rubbed off on her."

Jane set her mug down on the counter and looked up at me. Her chocolate brown orbs suddenly swirled with concern.

"Is that a good thing?"

"Absolutely. It's a wonderful thing." I stated emphatically.

I moved to stand behind the stool on which Jane was sitting and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Jane relaxed into my embrace and I turned to kiss her cheek; her soft skin felt like silk brushing against my lips.

"What was that for?"

"To remind you that I love you and think you're awesome."

"I love you too, Maur. I think you're pretty awesome too. I mean, not as awesome as me, but you're pretty damn close!"

"Hey!" I chuckled and playfully slapped Jane's shoulder, feigning offence.

"Mommy, I'm ready!" Rosa chirped.

"Come on then, little one! Let's go and build a snowman!"

"Oh god… Please don't start singing!" Jane whined.

I knelt down and Rosa ran towards me, leaping into my open arms. We exchanged a knowing look and began singing 'Do You Wanna Build a Snowman' from Frozen. Jane scowled and feigned annoyance but she had a certain glint in her eyes that made it quite clear that she loved it really.

"Come on, you dork! You too, Rosa!" Jane chuckled as she ruffled Rosa's hair. "Let's go see what Jack Frost brought us!"

Jane made a beeline for the door and Rosa wriggled in my arms. I carefully lowered her to the ground and adjusted her scarf. I felt the material slipping through my fingers and released my grip.

"Aunt Jane! Wait for me!" Rosa cried as she chased after Jane.

I leaned against the doorframe and watched the two of them playing together, content to observe and revel in their laughter. It was such a beautiful sight to witness and it convinced me that I was the luckiest person in the world. I have a beautiful daughter, the most incredible girlfriend, and a wonderful life. It doesn't get any better than that.

Jane and Rosa engaged in a snowball fight and hilarity ensued. I'm not entirely sure who started it but both competitors were taking it very seriously. I couldn't help but giggle when Jane crouched down to make a snowball and Rosa hit her straight in the back of the head. The snow slipped down the back of her neck and inside her coat, causing Jane to shimmy and shake like Beacon Hill's very own Baryshnikov.

"Nice moves, Rizzoli!" I cheered.

Jane glared at me before throwing a snowball in my direction. I leapt out of the way, dodging the snowball (much to Jane's dismay). Rosa carried on pelting Jane whilst I knelt down to scoop up some snow and pack it tightly into a ball. Once I was satisfied with my perfectly formed snowball, I quickly jumped to my feet and turned to face the girls again. Before I could take my aim, Jane swooped down and picked up Rosa, using her as a human shield.

"Come on, Maur! Hit me!" Jane goaded.

"Yeah, you can do it, mommy! Hit her!"

I held back for a moment and tried to estimate the best trajectory, however, this proved difficult as the target kept moving! In the end, I just bowled the ball and covered my eyes as soon as I felt it leave my hand.

"Ew yuck! Right in the mouth!" Jane shrieked.

Rosa hurtled towards me, giggling as she threw her little arms around my neck.

"I knew you could do it, mommy! You're the best!" Rosa exclaimed happily.

"No, you're the best!" I beamed as I light tapped Rosa on the nose, eliciting another giggle.

"Mommy, can we build a snowman now?"

I studied Rosa's face for a moment; her cheeks were rosy and her nose was red. As much as I wanted to build a snowman with her, I knew that we had been outside long enough and I didn't want to risk her getting sick just before Christmas.

"Not right now, baby. I promise that we _will_ build a snowman later but right now, I think we should go inside and make some waffles! What do you say?"

"Okay, mommy… But only if we can put chocolate chips in them!"

"Deal." I agreed as I shook Rosa's hand.

"Aunt Jane! We're making chocolate chip waffles!"

"I heard, buddy! Good call on the chocolate chips, by the way! Your mommy would never let me have chocolate chips, _even_ if I asked _really_ nicely."

"That's because I'm her favourite!"

"Nah-uh. Tell her, Maur!"

"I love you both. Very much. Now you'd better march your butts into that kitchen before I change my mind about the chocolate chips!"

"Yes sir!" Jane saluted before taking Rosa's hand and leading her into the house.

There was nothing in the world that I loved more than seeing my two favourite people, my girls, laughing and playing together.

* * *

"Okay, so how about we all snug up and watch a movie before the Brady Bunch arrive."

"The Brady Bunch?" Rosa questioned, her brow knitting in confusion.

"Aunt Jane was just making a joke, sweetie. She means Nanny Angela, Uncle Frankie, Uncle Tommy, Aunt Lydia, and TJ."

"Ah." Rosa nodded in understanding. "Can we watch Frozen?"

"No!" Jane and I chorused.

We had only just watched Frozen last night, and a dozen other times before that! I love my daughter, and I would do almost anything for her, but there is no way I could make it through the whole movie again so soon!

"Hey Rosa, have you seen Hook?" Jane asked.

"No. What is it?"

"No?! It's one of my all-time favourite movies! It's about Peter Pan when he grows up."

"But – but Peter Pan lives in Neverland and you never grow up in Neverland!"

"Well, Peter Pan left Neverland –"

"But why would he want to do that? There are mermaids and fairies in Neverland!"

"You have point there; mermaids and fairies are pretty awesome, but if you watch the movie, you'll see that we have some awesome things on Earth too!"

"More awesome than fairies?"

"Press play and you'll find out!"

"Jane? This isn't scary is it?" I whispered as I pulled Jane aside.

"Aww, it's okay, Maur. I'll be your cuddle buddy if you get scared!"

"It wasn't me I was worried about, Jane!"

"So, you don't want me to be your cuddle buddy then?" Jane asked with a smirk.

"No, I didn't say that! I was simply asking if this film is suitable for children."

"I'm sure Rosa will be fine. Just the other day, _you _let her watch a film where the protagonist's wife was brutally murdered in an attack that left his baby son disabled. Then the son got kidnapped and held hostage by a creepy dentist. The poor dad had to cross the ocean to find him and his only companion was a woman with amnesia!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Finding Nemo!"

"Oh. It doesn't sound very child-friendly when you put it like that."

"See! Even Disney does dark and twisty! Don't even get me started on Bambi…"

We snuggled up on the couch, with Rosa nestled in between us. Thankfully, as Jane had anticipated, Rosa was absolutely fine with the movie. It was the perfect movie to watch on Christmas Eve. Just as the end credits started to roll, the Rizzoli matriarch and the rest of her clan burst through the front door. They were all bearing gifts and Rosa took it upon herself to organise the presents under the tree (and rattle each one to try and guess its contents)! After all of the presents and suitcases had been brought inside, Angela and Lydia began making eggnog and the rest of us went outside to play in the snow again.

Tommy, Frankie and TJ decided to have a contest to see who could roll their snowball the furthest. After deciding that it was too easy, Frankie proposed the idea of having some sort of track with different sections; each section was worth a certain number of points, and if the snowball went outside of the track, you scored no points. It was a pretty clever idea and it certainly kept them entertained for a while.

"Mommy, please can we build our snowman now?"

"Of course we can, Rosa. Why don't you ask Aunt Jane if she'd like to help us?"

"Aunt Jane, would you like to build a snowman with us?"

"Sure, buddy. I would love to."

"Yay! Aunt Jane, you can make the bottom part because it's the biggest and you're the biggest! Mommy, you make the middle bit because you're in the middle, and I'll make the head because I'm the littlest!" Rosa ordered.

"Now who does she sound like?!"

"Still you!" I exclaimed, earning myself a snowball in the face.

"Hey!" I chuckled and Jane just shrugged smugly in response.

Jane knelt down beside me and we got straight to work, carefully rolling our snowballs to the correct sizes. We both knew that if Rosa was anything like me, which she was, then she'd be over to inspect our handiwork before we could assemble the snowman. Luckily we were granted the seal of approval.

"Good job!" Rosa applauded.

Jane helped me lift my snowball on top of hers, and then I lifted Rosa up so that she could place her snowball on top of mine. It was a lovely family bonding exercise and it helped Rosa to understand the benefits of teamwork.

"Aunt Jane, what should we use for the eyes and the mouth?"

"What about these little pebbles, buddy?"

"Thank you, Aunt Jane! They're _perfect_! We can use them for the buttons as well!"

"No problem! Need a boost?" Jane asked before lifting Rosa up onto her shoulders.

"Did you know that the largest documented snowman, well, snow-woman, was 122 feet and 1 inch tall?" I informed. "It's lucky ours isn't that tall, otherwise we'd need a really tall ladder to decorate the face!"

"Wow, Mommy! Can we make ours bigger?"

"Maybe next year, buddy!" Jane chuckled as she put Rosa down again.

"Okay." Rosa sighed sadly.

"Hey, cheer up, buddy! We still need to find this big guy a nose!"

"And a hat! Oh we could give him a…" I began excitedly, however, Rosa had already scampered away. "Scarf as well."

Jane wrapped her arm around me and affectionately nuzzled into my side. It was clear she was trying to stifle a laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked, meeting her russet brown eyes.

"She really is turning into me, isn't she?!"

"Yes. She certainly has your mannerisms."

"With your brains and good looks!" Suddenly Jane's expression grew serious as she reached an epiphany. "Oh boy… We're in big trouble!"

* * *

After dinner, Jane took the children upstairs to Rosa's bedroom and settled them down so that she could read them a story. Rosa and TJ huddled into Jane and she lovingly drew them closer by wrapping an arm around each of them. TJ handed Jane a copy of the Grinch and she began to read.

"_'And they're hanging up stockings!'_ He snarled with a sneer. '_Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!'_ Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, _'I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!_'" Jane read aloud, ensuring she used her very best Grinch voice.

Rosa and TJ were euphoric; they erupted into fits of giggles every time Jane got into character. It was such a pleasure to watch Jane engaging with them. It was evident that Jane loved her nephew; whenever she mentioned his name, her whole face would light up and her eyes would smile from her cheeks. It was heart-warming to see that the aunt-nephew relationship had weathered the storm and was seemingly unaffected by Jane's absence. It was plain to see how much Jane loved Rosa too. The pair shared a remarkable bond, one unlike any other. When Rosa was a baby, Jane was the only one who could soothe her and get her to go back to sleep in the middle of the night.

**_"I'm failing!" _**

**_"You're not failing. She's a baby, Maur. Babies are supposed to cry!"_**

**_"She hates me!"_**

**_"Now you're just being silly! Of course she doesn't hate you."_**

**_"I am fraught, Jane! I have tried everything; nursing, rocking, endless shushing! You name it, I've tried it! I'm telling you, she hates me!" I exclaimed, completely and utterly exasperated._**

**_"Come on. Hand her over. Auntie Jane needs to have a word with her favourite niece."_**

**_I carefully deposited Rosa in Jane's open arms and took a step back. _**

**_"Hey little miss grumpy-pants! Are you giving your mommy a hard time?" Jane cooed._**

**_Instantly, Rosa stopped fussing. It was almost like Jane had found a secret off-switch. She made it look so easy. She was a natural. Rosa gazed up at her with big baby blues as Jane continued to gently sway from side to side and whisper in dulcet tones. Within minutes, Rosa had fallen asleep._**

They have always had this special connection and it has only strengthened with time. Rosa may refer to Jane as 'Aunt Jane', but she is so much more than that. Always has been. Always will be.

I quietly slipped away and re-joined the other adults in the living room. They appeared to be in the middle of a game of Pictionary. Frankie and Tommy on one team, Angela and Lydia on the other. Boys versus girls.

"Come on Lydia! Think!" Angela yelled.

"I'm trying! This is a hard one."

"Bat!"

"Nice work, Frankie!" Tommy Cheered.

"I still don't see it." Lydia stated, tilting her head as she studied the sketch.

"What do you mean you don't see it?! It's right there! Look, there are the wings and there are the fangs. See? It's a bat." Angela explained as she pointed to the different parts.

"Wait, I've just realised something… it's a _bat_."

"What- what did you think a bat was before?!"

"You know, like a baseball bat. Maybe you should have drawn a baseball bat instead, Angela." Lydia smiled sweetly.

"Ooh I give up!" Angela huffed as she poured herself another glass of eggnog.

"I'm surprised they haven't killed each other yet!" Jane joked as she snuck up behind me.

"Well, the night is young!" I chuckled before placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Listen up everyone! I hope you don't mind but I decided to get everyone one big communal gift."

"Oh Tommy, you shouldn't have." I smiled, knowing that he and Lydia were still in the midst of some financial troubles.

"Yeah, you should have bought us one each!" Frankie joked.

"Francesco Rizzoli! You be nice to your baby brother! Thank you Tommy, that is very sweet of you. You know Christmas is tomorrow though, right?"

"Of course, ma! I'm not stupid! I just thought we could have some _fun_ tonight!"

"Oh god! What did you buy?!"

"Don't worry, Jane. It's not dirty!" He chuckled as he handed her the bag. "Go on! Open it!"

"Ah, Murder Mysteries…" Jane read the box.

"Doesn't that sound fun?!"

"Sure… if you don't do this kind of thing for a living!" Jane retorted.

"I think it's a great idea, Tommy." Angela added, forcing a smile.

"Oh look, it says here that you have to dress up in the proper costumes." Jane sighed, feigning disappointment.

"Don't worry, I packed all of the costumes in one of the suitcases!" Tommy exclaimed as he rushed to the guestroom.

"Oh goody." Jane replied sarcastically.

"Come on, Jane. It'll be fun." I smiled, gently bumping my shoulder against hers.

* * *

"Hello everyone, I'm Lady Elizabeth Duncan." Lydia introduced herself in character. "I have some terrible news to share with you all. I have just found my husband, Lord Theodore Duncan, murdered."

Lydia began to snigger to herself and we all just stared at her in confusion.

"Sorry, it's just – this is really fun!" She exclaimed.

"_This _is your idea of fun?!" Jane whined as she gestured to her outfit.

I couldn't help but laugh. Jane was dressed in scruffy clothes, her hair was backcombed, and she had two of her teeth blacked out. She had drawn the short straw and was cast as 'Stinky Stan', the gardener.

"Alright Stinky Stan! Let's just get back to the game." Frankie ordered.

"Are you supposed to be a police officer, Frankie?" Lydia asked.

"Um, yeah." Frankie scoffed.

He was wearing an old-fashioned police uniform including the hat. His character was hardly ambiguous.

"I'm Gary the Gangster. I've been busy fightin' and stealin' and – and all that other stuff gangsters do! Well, well! Who is this fine specimen?" Tommy asked as he gazed in my direction.

Jane smacked him round the back of the head.

"Knock it off, Janie! I was just reading the card!"

"Yeah, right!"

"I'm serious! I'm a married man now, I only have eyes for Lydia!"

Jane continued to scowl at Tommy, so I thought I'd better formally introduce myself before things snowballed into a full-blown fistfight.

"Hello boys, Miss Violet's the name." I flirted and observed how everyone's eyes trailed down my dress.

I was really pleased with my costume. It was a beautiful violet-coloured dress that accentuated my silhouette. It was infinitely better than Stinky Stan's ripped flannel shirt and stained pants.

"And I'm the maid… not that anyone cares!" Angela huffed as she glared at me.

Either she was really good at getting into character or she was jealous of the fact that my costume was more flattering than hers. Either way, I didn't really appreciate being on the receiving end of one of her famous death-glares.

"So, Lady Duncan, how did you discover your husband's body?" Frankie inquired, getting the ball rolling.

"It was awful. I was lying in my bed when suddenly I heard a manslaughter coming from the hallway."

"You heard a what now?!" Jane queried.

Lydia checked her card again before re-reading her last statement.

"Sorry, I got that a bit wrong, didn't I?"

"You think?!"

"Please continue, Lady Duncan."

"Suddenly I heard a _man's laughter_ – not manslaughter – coming from the hallway. I went outside and that's when I saw Gary the Gangster standing over my poor husband's dead body!"

Lydia turned her attention to Tommy and she furrowed her brow for a moment. Suddenly, a look of amusement washed across her face.

"Oh! It was you that killed him!" She exclaimed before offering herself a round of applause. "That was super fun! Can we play again?"

The rest of the group exchanged looks of confusion. Of course, the game wasn't over. It had barely even begun.

"You know what, Lydia? I think I'll read the next bit." Frankie smiled softly as he prised the card out of her hands.

"I slammed the bedroom door and locked it. I could feel my heart fluttering beneath my… _nightie_." Frankie paused for a moment, cringing at the thought.

"All I could think was _I wish my darling Teddy were alive to hold me in his loving arms and kiss me with his soft and tender lips_."

Everyone burst out laughing and Frankie slumped back into his chair, his cheeks turning a deep shade of scarlet.

"And Frankie will be reading more extracts from his diary tomorrow." Jane announced jokingly.

"So, what's going on, Gangster Gary?" Angela asked, shifting the conversation.

"It wasn't me what done it!" Tommy replied huskily, clearly trying to sound menacing like his character. "I was lyin' in bed when I smelt a whiff of sweet perfume! When I opened the door, do you know who I saw?" Tommy paused for suspense.

"Well, it wasn't me, was it?! Cause I stink of horse poop!" Jane expressed with a scowl, clearly referring to the gardener's use of manure.

"No. No, it wasn't you, Stinky Stan. It was someone in a mask, holding a dagger. Suddenly, they lifted the dagger and plunged it into Lord Duncan's chest. A blood-curdling scream echoed throughout the manor." Tommy added dramatically as he re-enacted the scene.

"Mommy, I had a bad dream." Rosa emerged in tears, startling us from our game.

"It's okay, sweetie." I soothed as I scooped her up into my arms and peppered her with kisses.

I carried Rosa back upstairs and she snuggled her face into the crook of my neck. I carefully placed her on the bed and pulled the duvet back so that she could get comfortable.

"Mommy?" Rosa whispered quietly, trying not to wake TJ (who was fast asleep on a mattress on the floor). "Why are you all dressed in silly clothes?"

"Because we're playing a game. Uncle Tommy thought it would be fun."

"Oh. Can I play? I love playing dress up!"

"I know you do, sweetie, but it's past your bedtime. We can play lots of games together tomorrow."

"Okay. Mommy? Can you check for monsters?" Rosa begged fearfully, tugging the duvet up to her face.

"Okay, sweetie, but I promise you that there aren't any monsters in here."

"But you haven't checked yet! You need to check!"

I leaned over and kissed Rosa's forehead before humouring her and checking for monsters in the closet, under the bed, and even behind the curtains.

"All clear. This is a monster-free zone." I smiled. "Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep now?"

Rosa nodded slightly. It was clear that she was still frightened, but she was trying to put on a brave face.

"Do you mind if I stay with you for a while?" I asked, gesturing for Rosa to scoot over for me. "I get scared sometimes too, Rosa."

"But you're a grown-up. Grown-ups aren't supposed to get scared."

"Do you want to know a secret?" Rosa nodded. "Everyone gets scared from time to time. _Even_ grown-ups. But I promise that I will always protect you, Rosa. I won't let anything bad happen to you, okay?"

"Okay. I love you mommy." Rosa yawned.

"I love you too, sweet girl." I kissed Rosa's forehead and smoothed a soft curl away from her face.

Rosa nestled into me and once I was certain she was sleeping soundly, I placed another delicate kiss upon her forehead before silently leaving the room.

I made my way back into the living room to see everyone crowding around a broken wine glass.

"Come on then! Get a brush and clean it up, you lazy little –" Lydia instructed Angela.

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me! You're the maid… That is what I pay you for!"

I watched the anger bubble up inside Angela as she muttered some profanities under her breath. Clearly Lydia forgot that we were taking a short break from the game.

"This is so much fun, isn't it?" She beamed happily.

"Yes. Yes, it is." Jane replied sarcastically. "Is Rosa alright?"

"She's fine, Jane. Shall we continue?" I asked as I settled on the couch.

"So, why don't you tell us exactly what you saw yesterday afternoon?" Frankie directed his question towards Lydia.

"Um, I saw a guy in a hotdog suit handing out flyers –" Lydia began.

"In the game, Lydia! You need to read what it says on the card, honey." Tommy gently informed.

"Oh! You meant what Lady Duncan saw yesterday!" She picked up the card and started to read from it. "I was surprised to see Stinky Stan talking with my husband. Lord Duncan shouted at Stinky Stan and fired him on the spot! He told him that if he didn't get off our property, he would call the police. Stinky Stan promised never to return."

"So why did you return, Stan?" I queried.

"I came to pick up my gardening tools. I left them in the shed." Jane read aloud.

"Do you think he was harbouring a grudge?" I asked Lydia.

"I don't know. He didn't show me his tools... Do gardeners use grudges?"

"Oh my god! This is painful!" Jane muttered.

"Right, where were we?"

"I think it's time we heard your alibi, Miss Violet." Angela stated sternly.

* * *

After a long night of fun and games, Jane and I were finally alone in our bedroom. As much as I love the Rizzolis, I was in desperate need of some peace and quiet. Fortunately, I found my sanctuary in the bed I shared with the woman I love. Jane opened her arms and I scooted into her embrace. I rested my head over Jane's beating heart and allowed the gentle flutter to soothe me. Jane ran her fingers through my hair and I felt pure contentment wash over me.

"So, it was Lady Duncan all along." I sighed. "Who'd have guessed?"

"Not Lydia, that's for sure!" Jane joked, causing us both to laugh.

"I love you Jane, and I hope that there will be many more Christmas Eves like this one."

Jane furrowed her brow.

"Okay, maybe not exactly like this one! I just meant that it has been wonderful to be surrounded by a real family. Our family. I've never really experienced that before." I clarified.

"You know what I want? I want to celebrate every Christmas with you and our kids. To start our own little family traditions and stuff."

"Kids? Plural? You – you want to have children?" I spluttered.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, however, Jane's heartbeat remained steady.

"Sure, _someday_. Don't you want to have another one?" Jane answered my question with ease.

It was almost as if she was asking me if I wanted a cup of coffee or tea. Like it was the easiest choice in the world.

"I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it." I lied.

There had been moments where I caught a glimpse of a curly-haired boy running through the house, leaving muddy footprints everywhere. Or of a mini-Jane practicing ballet in the living room. But they were just daydreams, they weren't serious thoughts or action plans. The chances of being able to conceive and turn those dreams into a reality were very slim at our age.

"So, think about it then." Jane smiled. "Goodnight Maur." Jane turned to place a soft kiss against my cheek.

My brain shifted into overdrive. All of these thoughts and ideas swarmed my head. Next steps. Sperm donors. IVF. Failed attempts. Miscarriage. Baby. Baby. Baby. It kept coming back to the baby. That sweet new baby scent, those ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes, the soft tufts of hair sprouting from its head. I wanted that again. I wanted to experience it all with Jane. I wanted us to have it all.

"Jane? I'm in. I'm all in." I whispered.

Jane let out a soft snore. Of course she had already fallen asleep. Just typical. She dropped a bombshell on me, causing my mind to race at a mile a minute, and she just fell asleep. Just like that.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so that was 'Snowfall'. A few of you asked for some lighter, funnier chapters and I hope this one delivered. The prompt for this chapter was 'Jane and Maura playing murder mysteries'. If there is a particular plot or idea that you want to suggest, please do review or pm me and I will incorporate it into a future chapter.**

**Also, what do you think of the whole baby idea? Should they have another baby? Should Jane or Maura carry the baby? What about adoption? I need genders, names and any other ideas you can think of! Don't worry, there's still a long way to go before the baby making actually starts... Just testing the water and giving you all time to have your say!**

**N.B. The next chapter, 'A Thousand Chrysanthemums' will be up in a few days. Expect something big to happen between Jane and Maura!**


	18. A Thousand Chrysanthemums

**Jane's POV:**

I was so hyped for this day! The Red Sox were hosting the Baseball Winter Weekend and I had somehow managed to convince Maura and Rosa to go with me. It's not the same as watching a game, but it's good enough! It's actually pretty great; you get to listen to discussions, have photos taken with the players, get autographs, there's a baseball festival, and a clinic for kids. I just knew that Rosa was gonna love it!

"Hey Rosa, did you know that we took you to your first baseball game while you were still in your mommy's belly?"

"Really?" Rosa beamed.

"Uh-huh. It was also your mommy's first time as well. Sure, she'd played baseball and pretended to watch it on TV, but this was her first time watching a game in real life. It was the first time I took her to Fenway Park – it used to be my favourite place in the whole world."

_"Really? That's what you wear to a baseball game?!" I asked as I hopped out of my car to open the passenger door for Maura._

_"Should I be wearing something different? Do I need to go and change?" Maura asked as she looked up and down her body, suddenly self-conscious._

_She looked so cute. She was wearing this teal-coloured dress that hugged her body and drew my attention to her cute little bump. It was so crazy to think that there was a tiny person growing inside her and that, in a few months, there would be a baby. In all the years I had known Maura, I had never seen her look more beautiful. I mean, she always looked beautiful but whilst she was pregnant, she just looked so happy and positively amazing. She was glowing. _

_"Jane?" Maura called to me to break me out of my daze._

_I guess I had been staring at her for too long and Maura thought that I was criticising her outfit rather than admiring her beauty. She quickly looked me up and down, and furrowed her brow. I was wearing jeans, high tops and a Red Sox jersey._

_"I have never been to a baseball game, so I didn't know what was appropriate. I'm just going to change into something else." Maura mumbled, clearly embarrassed._

_As she turned away to walk back into her house, I quickly reached out to grab her arm. _

_"No. You look great. You – you look fantastic." I stuttered as I guided her towards the passenger seat._

_I was at a loss for words. Maura was so unbelievably stunning, yet I had no idea how to express that. Part of the reason why was because no word could ever do her justice, but it was mostly because I didn't know how to tell her how I felt. Best friends compliment each other all the time, however, they don't swoon over each other. _

_"Are you sure?" Maura asked curiously._

_"Yeah." I nodded. "I mean, I don't have a clue how you are pregnant and still wearing heels like that! It's impressive! You look really good." I blushed._

_Maura smiled and I closed her door. I made my way round to the driver's side and hopped in, hoping that Maura hadn't noticed my rosy cheeks. She probably didn't, my skin-tone makes it pretty hard to detect._

_"Actually, I think you need one more thing." I added before starting the car._

_I reached behind me and grabbed a bag off the backseat. I rummaged around for a minute before pulling out a Red Sox baseball cap. I leaned over the console and put it on Maura's head, bending the bill of the cap slightly so that she could see better. _

_"Now you're perfect." _

_She looked up at me with her big hazel eyes. I didn't actually expect her to wear it, I thought she'd just take it off straight away and fix her hair. But she didn't. She flashed me her signature dimpled smile and my heart felt like it could explode._

_I hadn't attended a game for a while but I knew my way around the stadium, however, Maura had never been before and I wasn't prepared to let her out of my sight. I held onto her hand tightly as soon as we passed through the turnstiles and entered the stadium. As Maura slotted her fingers between mine, I couldn't help but think how well we fitted together. I expertly guided her to our seats off the first base line. Having taken a slight detour to pick up essentials for the game (is it really a game without snacks?), Maura was finally able to sit down and make herself comfortable. Although she'd never admit it, I bet her feet were killing her. The seats were awesome! I had never had seats like this, I'd usually go for the nosebleed seats. But I wanted today to be extra special; this was Maura's first time and I wanted to go all out. We were three rows off the field, right in between home plate and first base._

_"Pretty neat, huh?" I asked as I watched Maura take in the view._

_"Yes." Maura smiled as she watched the Red Sox warm up._

_She was so focused on what was happening on the field, yet I was more interested in watching the beautiful woman beside me. Her. I studied every detail, every flicker of emotion, every smile. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, especially not when I noticed her subconsciously caress her abdomen. I knew in that moment that I couldn't possibly love her more. She was everything._

_"This is really awesome, Jane. Thank you for inviting me." Maura smiled._

_I always loved it when she said the word 'awesome' because that was one of my words. It showed me that I was rubbing off on her, that I had become a part of her life._

_"No, thank you for coming." I replied as I gently squeezed her hand._

_A few minutes passed and I hadn't even realised that I was still holding onto Maura's hand. I mentally cursed myself before looking at Maura's face, trying to gauge her emotion. She just smiled sweetly and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. We gazed into each other's eyes for what felt like forever. All I wanted to do was kiss her. But I couldn't. I didn't think she'd want me to._

_"Peanut?" I asked, quickly breaking free from our trance._

_Maura nodded before daintily reaching into the bag of peanuts._

_"These are sooo good." Maura sighed contentedly, letting her eyes flutter shut and I couldn't help but chuckle._

_I twisted the cap of my water bottle and took a sip before offering it to Maura._

_"I can't wait until you pop that kid out." I beamed, gesturing towards her stomach. "Then I can drag you both to every game of the season."_

_Maura took a gulp of water before handing the bottle back to me and resting her hand on my knee. I could feel her warmth travelling through my entire body. It was incredible._

_"I can't wait either." She smiled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you for being there for me, Jane. Thank you for being there for us."_

_She ran her other hand across her swollen stomach to emphasise her point._

_"Always." I smiled as I wrapped my arm around Maura's shoulder in a move of friendly support._

_Maura chuckled and dabbed her eyes. Her hormones had been getting the better of her lately and she told me how ridiculous she felt for crying over everything. _

_"Please can you fill me in on who these players are?" She asked, gesturing to the Red Sox players who were stretching on the grass in front of her. "I don't want to make a mockery of myself whilst I watch the game."_

_I grinned from ear-to-ear. It was so touching that Maura was taking an interest in my hobbies. I gladly pulled out the program that I bought earlier. I opened it to the player biographies and started pointing out which player was which and explaining what position they played. I even gave her my own personal opinions of the players – you know, which ones were the best and which ones should be traded, that kind of thing._

_The game was pretty slow. Both teams had good pitchers and great batters, so the innings were long as the runs started to add up on both sides. Throughout the game, I kept stealing glances at Maura. She seemed to be enjoying herself; cheering when the crowd cheered, booing when the crowd booed, but I couldn't be sure if she was just being polite. She knew how important baseball was to me, so she wouldn't have complained about it, even if she was bored out of her mind. By the middle of the fourth inning, I noticed Maura shifting uncomfortably in her seat._

_"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, my voice loaded with concern._

_"I'm fine." She smiled softly. "The baby's hungry."_

_I noticed hives appearing on her neck. There was more to it than she was letting on. Maura had a few problems early on in her pregnancy and then she was diagnosed with placenta previa a week or so after the game (but obviously we didn't know about that yet)._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Positive." She stated with another smile, gently squeezing my knee in reassurance._

_"Well, okay then." I couldn't push her. "I'll go and grab something for us to eat. What do you want?" I asked, trying to conceal my anxiety._

_"No, you stay and enjoy the game. I could use a stretch anyway."_

_"Okay, if you're sure. The Cuban sandwiches are really good here. If you could get me one, that'd be great." I asked sheepishly._

_I hated that she wouldn't let me help her. Maura was pregnant and I wanted to take care of her but I knew better than to push it. When she said she wanted to do something, I needed to let her do it._

_"Of course. I'll be right back." Maura beamed._

_She got up slowly and she seemed a little off balance but she quickly regained her composure. I swear, she was turning me into a nervous wreck. I had always been protective of her but now that she was pregnant, the urge to protect her had only intensified. There were two people to protect now and I couldn't bear the thought of something bad happening to either of them. I noticed that as Maura got up and walked away, she started to massage her lower back. Back pain is so common during pregnancy; all of the books say that the expectant mother should have her partner massage her back but Maura didn't have a partner. I would have done it. In fact, I would have given anything to give her a massage but I feared that that would be crossing the line. I wanted to be there for Maura, in every way. I wanted to show her that she wasn't doing this alone, but I didn't want to push her away either._

_I tried to relax as I waited for Maura to return. With each passing minute, I became more and more anxious. I was so worried about Maura that I didn't even know what was happening in the game. Maura returned a short while later armed with enough food to feed a small army. I couldn't begin to explain the relief I felt when she returned and I could see for myself that she was alright. I'd never have forgiven myself if something had happened to her or the baby._

_"You were right! These Cuban sandwiches are amazing!" Maura exclaimed as she tucked in happily._

_The short walk and reward of food seemed to rejuvenate her. For a while anyway. Towards the end of the game, Maura was starting to fade. The further along she got in her pregnancy, the earlier her bedtime became. The game started at 7pm and, with the extra-long innings, it was almost 10pm by the time the ninth inning started._

_"Come on, Maur. Let's get you home." I smiled warmly as I gently wrapped my arm around Maura._

_"No. Not Yet. The game hasn't finished yet, Jane." She stated firmly._

_"I know, honey, but you're tired and you're pregnant. It was stupid of me to think staying out this late was a good idea."_

_"It was a lovely idea, Jane, and I am having a wonderful time. We're staying." Maura added forcefully as she rested her head on my shoulder and leaned into my embrace._

_I pulled Maura as close to me as possible in order to try and keep her warm. There was a slight chill in the air and I didn't want her to get sick. I felt her body grow heavier in my arms and I could feel her slow and even breaths against my body. She had drifted off to sleep and I was pretty sure that she missed the entirety of the last inning. Once the game was over, I gently nudged Maura awake._

_"Hey sleepy-head, are you ready to go?"_

_Maura nodded before a cute little yawn slipped her lips. She was adorable. She slowly stood up and I quickly wrapped my arm around her waist to give her more support. As we walked towards the car, I mentally kicked myself for not forcing Maura to leave early. I knew that she was only staying for me. She would do anything for me and I would do anything for her._

_"Did the Red Sox win?" Maura asked sleepily._

"Did the Red Sox win?" Rosa asked excitedly.

"No, buddy. They lost." I replied.

"Were you sad?"

"No, I wasn't. It was just a baseball game. I could tell you about who the best players were and what the keys to the game were. But that's not the real story." I watched Maura as she packed things into a backpack for Rosa. "As a matter of fact, that's not the story at all."

* * *

**Maura's POV:**

Jane and I hadn't had a chance to continue the baby discussion yet. Work had been spectacularly hectic recently and we were both exhausted. I suppose I was just waiting for the right moment to broach the subject. Obviously, we had a lot to talk about. Jane had been planning to take Rosa and me to the Baseball Winter Weekend at Fenway Park, and I figured that we could talk about everything after we had returned home.

I must admit, I wasn't the slightest bit interested in the events and activities of the day, however, I was determined not to let that show. Jane and Rosa were having a field day and I didn't want to spoil their fun or disappoint them by complaining about my own boredom.

On the ride home, Rosa chattered about how cool Grover Verben was, and how she was going to play professional baseball one day. She talked so much that she tired herself out. She was falling asleep, so I carefully scooped her up and carried her into the house. I helped Rosa get ready for bed and read her a story; Goodnight Moon.

Memories of my first Red Sox game came flooding back to me. Well, not so much the game itself but the moment that occurred afterwards.

_I had fallen asleep again on the drive home and I barely woke up when Jane parked the car in front of my house. She guided me inside and took me straight into my bedroom._

_"Do you want to change or are you okay in this?" Jane asked._

_I mumbled something incoherent as I slipped my heels off and climbed into bed. I'm not sure what I was thinking – that was an Alexander McQueen dress! I shouldn't have slept in it! Jane picked up my shoes and moved them away from the bed. Jane went to turn out the light and was about to leave when I stopped her._

_"Stay." I stated quietly._

_I felt Jane climb into bed beside me and I rolled onto my side to face her. I let my eyes flutter shut once again and I drifted off to sleep. I awoke a short while later to the end of 'Goodnight Moon'. I had explained to Jane that I would read to the baby every night and she had obviously decided to fill in for me. I decided to keep my eyes closed and listen to Jane's soothing voice. I was a little sad when the story came to an end, however, my disappointment didn't last long. Jane scooted down so that she was resting on her side, propped up by her elbow, right next to my bump. _

_"Hey baby." Jane whispered. "I'm your Aunt Jane."_

_Jane gently reached out and placed her hand on my abdomen, forming an instant connection with the child inside my womb. Momentarily, I was shocked by her actions. Yes, Jane had been affectionate towards me many times before, but it had never been so intimate. And she had never talked to or felt the baby before. _

_She paused for a moment before continuing and I can only assume that she was checking to make sure that I was still asleep._

_"I love you so much, baby. You know, your mommy really needs to come up with a name so that we can stop calling you baby… Every time I hear the name 'Baby', I can't help but picture Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing… And you aren't Jennifer Grey! I guess it's hard to pick a name though. Especially as we don't know if you're a girl or a boy yet. Don't tell your mommy, but I think you're a little girl. I can feel it." Jane sighed and placed the gentlest kiss on my stomach._

_I had never experienced a feeling quite like that before. No one had ever shown me so much love and affection before, and Jane wasn't just showering me with adoration, she was also loving my baby._

_"I can't wait to meet you, little one. But don't get any ideas… That doesn't mean you can come out early! You have the best mommy in the world and she is taking such good care of you, so you stay in there so that you're big and strong when you're born. Mommy and I took you to your first Red Sox game today. The Red Sox lost, but that's okay. I was just glad that your mommy was there with me. That's all that mattered. We'll have to go again when you get here. Your mommy is going to love the little pink Red Sox onesie I have for you! Don't worry, baby, we'll get her a ticket too."_

_I could feel tears forming behind my eyelids as I listened to Jane. I didn't know it was possible to love someone as much as I loved her. She was extraordinary. Suddenly I remembered what had woken me up in the first place… I needed to use the bathroom. I didn't want Jane to stop, so I shifted slightly in a bid to make myself more comfortable. Jane waited for a minute or so and continued her conversation with the baby._

_"I love you and your mommy very much. Never forget that. You two are my family. And your mommy loves you so much already, baby. I guess we both really lucked out because we get to have her in our lives. Anyway, it's time to go to sleep now, baby. I'll see you tomorrow. You be good for mommy, okay? Don't start kicking her during the night… You have to wait until it's daytime and your Aunt Jane is there! I love you baby, sweet dreams."_

_Jane leaned over and kissed my bump one last time before sitting up. I felt her breath against my cheek and I thought that she was going to kiss it, however, after a moment of hesitation, she pulled away. She turned off the bedside lamp and made her way out of the bedroom._

After I had finished reading, I tucked her into bed and kissed her goodnight.

"Mommy? Where is your favourite place in the whole wide world?" Rosa asked in a soft, sleepy voice.

"I'm not sure, sweetie. I've always loved visiting Paris."

"Aunt Jane said that her old favourite place in the whole world was Fenway Park."

Jane had always loved Fenway Park. She had told me numerous times that it was her favourite place. She said it felt like home. Why wasn't it her favourite place anymore?

"Her old favourite place? Where is her favourite place now?" I asked curiously.

"Right here. With us."

The fierce and hard-core Jane Rizzoli was a big softie at heart. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found her. To be able to spend the rest of my life with her.

I entered my own bedroom to find my beautiful, wonderful, and extraordinary girlfriend already curled up in our bed. She had her eyes closed but I could tell from her breathing that she hadn't quite fallen asleep yet. I felt my heart flutter in my chest as I approached the bed. I gently sat down beside Jane on her side of the bed and caressed her shoulders.

"Wake up." I stated softly, yet with great urgency.

I had something very important to say to her. I needed to get everything off my chest. It was now or never and I didn't want to wait a moment more.

"Wake up, Jane. I'd like you to have a chat with me."

"What? Why?" She mumbled, still refusing to open her eyes.

"I love you and I have something important to ask you."

She let out a quiet groan or a grumble. I'm not sure which verb more accurately described the sound that escaped from Jane's mouth.

"Can it wait till morning?"

"No." I shook my head. "Not really."

"But Maur, I'm so comfy." Jane whined as she nestled further into the covers.

I rose from the bed, only to reposition myself on the floor. I got down on one knee and reached for Jane's hand. The movement stirred Jane from her light slumber and forced her to open her eyes. I watched as confusion swept across her features.

"Maura? What are you doing?" She paused to think for a moment. "Wait a minute… An important question? Are – are you down on your knees?"

I nodded slowly. It felt like my heart had leapt into my throat.

"Were you so bored at the Winter Weekend today that you decided to ask me to marry you afterwards?" Jane joked sleepily.

"Something like that." I stuttered.

Of course, it wasn't boredom that was driving me to propose. It was love. It was the sheer adoration, the all-encompassing, warm and fuzzy sensation I felt whenever Jane was near me. And the devastating, sinking sensation that riddled me whenever we were apart.

Jane's face fell as she digested my words.

"Well, it's not exactly like that." I added. "I just decided that I didn't want to wait anymore. I could love you forever, Jane. So why can't forever start today?"

"You're being serious, aren't you?" Jane stated as she sat up quickly.

I nodded again.

"Jane Rizzoli, will you marry me?" I smiled.

"No! This isn't how it was meant to be!" Jane cried as she pulled her hand away from mine.

I could feel my heart shattering into a thousand little pieces as her words echoed in my head.

"What – what are you saying? Are you saying that you don't want to be with me anymore?" I spluttered as I felt the tears pool in my eyes before streaming down my cheeks.

"No! God no, that's not what I meant at all, Maura!" Jane cried as she leapt to her feet. "I just meant that you deserve some super corny and romantic proposal… With a thousand chrysanthemums, a horse drawn carriage, and a ring as beautiful as you are."

The tears continued to flow freely down my face but now – now they were happy tears. I reached out to hold Jane's hands and began to trace tender patterns across her delicate skin.

"But I don't need any of those things, Jane. I don't need a grand romantic gesture. I just need you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that is more than enough for me." I beamed.

Jane pulled her hands away again and started rummaging through her sock drawer. Her seemingly erratic behaviour only confused me more and I had no idea what was going on. What was she thinking? How was she feeling? How could I know either of those things when I didn't even know what she was doing?!

"What's the matter? Have you got cold feet?" I asked as she pulled out a fluffy pair of socks.

"No actually, I don't." Jane added before I realised that she had interpreted my previous question as a double entendre.

Jane lowered herself to the ground and settled on one knee. I watched intently, still not entirely sure what was happening, as she stuck her hand into one of the socks. She pulled out a ring. My vision was distorted from all the tears. All I could see was the shape of Jane's face and those rich chocolate orbs staring back at me.

"This isn't how I planned to do it." Jane chuckled through her own tears. "But Maura, I love you. I love you so much and I would really, _really_ like to marry you. My life has never been same since I met you. You've made me happier than I have ever been and ever thought I could be. I can't picture the rest of my life without you by my side. So, Maura Isles, will you do me the honour of marrying me?" Jane asked expectantly.

I was stunned. There I was proposing to my girlfriend, sort of on a whim, and there she was with a ring and everything. She had put so much thought into the planning and the actual proposal, and I had just spoiled everything because I didn't want to wait any longer.

"Any thoughts on the answer?" Jane queried nervously, pulling me from my thoughts. "Yes? No? Either one is possible."

"Yes! Yes! Jane, yes! A thousand times yes! I would _love _to marry you!" I exclaimed as I pulled Jane up to me.

I threw my arms around her and initiated the most passionate and loving kiss I have ever experienced. As our tongues danced together, I knew that she was the missing part of me. She completed me. That we were meant to be together.

* * *

The following morning, I woke up to an empty bed and a post-it note from Jane saying that she had been called into work early. I was saddened to think that I missed out on waking up to my fiancée this morning. I reluctantly got ready and made my way into work. As I stepped outside the elevator, I saw (and heard) Kent arguing with a delivery man.

"What is going on here?" I asked.

"This man claims that we ordered flowers, however, I know that we did not order any flowers to be delivered to the morgue!" Kent exclaimed bitterly.

"Well, then it must be a mistake." I stated softly as I tried to calm Kent down.

"It isn't a mistake. It says that you have to be here in person to accept them."

"That I have to be here? Well, that's…" I began before suddenly realising what was happening.

I slowly turned away from the quibbling men and walked into the morgue. Immediately I was met with a sea of yellow, red, white and purple chrysanthemums.

"Chrysanthemums! As if we'd order these to be sent to the morgue!" Kent remarked.

Actually, it was fairly fitting to have chrysanthemums sent to the morgue because in some European cultures, incurve chrysanthemums are used for funerals and to lay on the graves. In Italy, gifting a bouquet of chrysanthemums is regarded as a sign of disrespect because it is associated with a sort of "death wish." The thought reminded me to ask Jane why she chose chrysanthemums of all flowers - obviously she did not mean any disrespect. Perhaps it's because in the United States, the flowers are generally regarded as positive and cheerful.

"I mean, look how many there are! There must be at least –" Kent continued to moan.

"A thousand of them. A thousand chrysanthemums." I beamed through the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes.

"Nope. Almost but not quite right. There are exactly 999. I counted them myself." The delivery man explained.

I quickly rushed into my office to find Jane sitting on my desk holding a purple chrysanthemum. The thousandth one. A thousand chrysanthemums. I swiftly brought my hands up cover my mouth. I was so overwhelmed… In a good way.

"I told you that you deserved a thousand chrysanthemums and I meant it." Jane began as she glided towards me. "I did some research and I found out that they are actually extremely significant flowers. Not only do they look beautiful, they also have a number of meanings associated with them. Chrysanthemums symbolise optimism, long life, fidelity, honesty, and joy. You deserve all of those things, Maura."

I instantly leapt into Jane's arms and peppered her with kisses. I didn't care if anyone saw us. I didn't care if I was being unprofessional. All I cared about was Jane. The woman of my dreams, standing right in front of me, bearing a purple chrysanthemum.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews and messages! I appreciate reading them all :) So, this chapter has been in the works for a long time and I am so glad that I've been able to publish it! As for the baby discussion, that will take place in the next chapter. At the moment, it is split pretty much 50-50 as to who should carry the baby, so please keep reviewing/messaging me with your ideas! I will go with the majority vote, so make yours count!**


	19. Always and Forever

**A/N: Okay, so I have written and re-written this chapter too many times to count! I know that everyone has high expectations for this chapter, including myself. I thought about many different possible scenarios in which things could go wrong, however, I ultimately decided that our girls have been dragged through hell and deserve at least one happy day! So, here it is, the big wedding. I hope that it won't fall short of your expectations and that it won't leave you disappointed. **

**N.B. This chapter takes place about five months after the last one and the missing moments will be covered as flashbacks in later chapters.**

* * *

**Maura's POV:**

"Come on, buddy. Please let me in."

"I'm sorry, Aunt Jane. I can't do that. I love you, but mommy said it's bad luck."

"I thought mommy didn't believe in superstitions!" Jane yelled from outside the room.

"I don't." I replied adamantly, loud enough for Jane to hear. "But you do."

"I guess I can't argue with that!" Jane relented. "See you on the other side?" She asked hopefully.

"Always." I replied with a smile, even though I knew she couldn't see my face.

"Bye Rosa."

"Bye Aunt Jane. You look really pretty, by the way." Rosa added.

"Thanks buddy, so do you. I've gotta fly now… Your mommy will kill me if I'm not ready on time!"

Jane and Rosa shared a giggle and I just shook my head, unable to suppress my own laughter. Rosa closed the door behind her and came to sit beside me at the dressing table. We finished getting ready without further interruption and I walked Rosa through her responsibilities one last time. She was to walk down the aisle first, toss the rose petals, and I would follow. We would wait at the altar for Jane to arrive, the ceremony would commence, and when asked, Rosa would hand over the rings. Though the instructions were simple, it was a lot to take in for a four-year-old. She was excited though and she seemed to understand well enough.

"Are you ready to go, sweetie?"

"Are you?" Rosa raised her eyebrows knowingly.

I chuckled and held out my hand to her. She immediately laced her fingers through mine and gazed up at me with her big baby blues.

"Absolutely." I smiled. "I've never been more ready for anything in my life."

I observed proudly from the wings as Rosa skipped down the aisle, scattering rose petals as she went along. She was unbelievably cute and, judging by the echo of "awws" from the crowd, everyone else thought so too. I slowly made my own way down the aisle, desperately trying to maintain an air of poise, elegance and grace. It was hard to believe that it was really happening. That today was my wedding day, the day I had fantasized about since I was a little girl. It wasn't exactly how I imagined it would be. It was much, much better.

"Wow, Aunt Jane looks like an angel." Rosa smiled up at me.

And she was right. Jane was the epitome of ethereal beauty. Jane was wearing minimal make-up and her ravishing raven locks were pulled back into a tousled updo, with curls spilling out at the sides and framing her face spectacularly. It was both chic and playful. She was wearing a gorgeous ivory gown with a stunning illusion bateau neckline and back. It was perfect. The intricate lace patterns swept across her shoulders and flowed down the bodice until meeting a floor-length skirt. Her dress was elegant and sophisticated, without being too extravagant or "icky, frilly, girlie and puffy", as Jane would put it. The romantic sheath dress was divine, however, nothing was more perfect than the woman who was wearing it.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together these two exceptional human beings in holy matrimony. Today, Jane and Maura claim their love to the world with these words. Maura? I believe you won the deciding coin toss, so you shall go first." The minister joked and the room filled with laughter.

_Jane pulled me impossibly close and began to caress my body with her magical hands while gently kissing my parted lips. Her talented tongue traced my lower lip and requested entrance, which I, of course, granted instantly. Our tongues battled for dominance and I was overcome by the sweet taste of Jane and the adulation that radiated from her every pore. We stayed that way for a long time. Jane eventually coaxed me into rolling over and she snuggled against the curve of my body._

"_I believe that's the best make-out session I've ever had." Jane rasped as she tried to catch her breath._

_She sighed contentedly as she relaxed into the pillow and mattress, blissfully happy in the moment._

"_You say that every time!" I chuckled heartily._

"_And I mean it every time, Maura. Every time I look into your eyes, see your dazzling smile or hear that beautiful laugh of yours, I fall even more hopelessly in love with you." Jane said earnestly._

_There were no words that could begin to explain the love that I felt for Jane, and in that moment, I decided to convey my feelings with a kiss. It wasn't a fierce or aggressive kiss, it was tender and passionate, and I hoped that Jane could feel the emotion seeping through it._

"_I love you." Was all I could say._

_In the past, I had always refrained from saying those three little words. They were so powerful and heavy, and I did not want to overuse them to a point where they became meaningless. Those words meant too much to waste on my previous partners, however, with Jane they didn't seem to mean enough. I loved her so much more than those three little words could express. _

"_I love you too, Maur. It's a shame that's all the action you're going to get for the next couple of weeks!" _

_I shifted slightly and raised my head to look at her._

"_Are you serious?" I asked, unsure if this was another one of Jane's jokes._

_She kissed my bare shoulder. "Sure, why not? I'm game if you are?"_

"_Fine." I sighed. "But you do realise that you're going to have to start wearing more than just your underwear to bed if you want to keep this abstinence vow." _

"_Deal." She pressed her face against my back and I could feel her hot breath tickling my skin. "But! If I have to wear frumpy pyjamas, then you can't be dressing up in those sexy silk nightgowns of yours!"_

"_I never said you had to wear frumpy pyjamas!"_

"_Please! Like you could resist me otherwise!" Jane joked as her finger traced a light imaginary line up and along my hip and ribs._

_She was playing dirty and it was incredibly hot. I could already feel my arousal pooling… This vow of abstinence was going to be incredibly challenging._

"_Fine. The silk night slips are gone, now stop teasing!" I grunted._

_Jane chuckled as I rolled onto my side to look at her. _

"_So, we have one more decision to make… Our wedding vows."_

"_What about 'em?" Jane asked. _

"_Who should go first?"_

"_Me, obviously."_

"_What? Why?"_

"_Because I'm awesome… And I called dibs!" Jane smirked._

"_When?"_

"_Uh, right now!"_

_I narrowed my eyes at Jane and she rolled hers in response._

"_Fine." She huffed. "Let's toss a coin. Does that sound fair to you?"_

"_Yes, I suppose that would be sufficient." I concurred._

_I rolled over to open the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a quarter. "You call it."_

"_Heads!" Jane shouted enthusiastically._

_I flipped the coin in the air and Jane fell silent, her lips pursed and fists clenched in anticipation. I caught the coin and held it out to her._

"_Tails. Looks like I win." I announced and I couldn't suppress the grin that had taken over my lips._

"_Whatever." Jane pouted. "At least I can ad-lib and make my vows better than yours!" _

_I giggled again before tossing the coin back into the drawer and turning out the light. I snuggled down under the covers and felt Jane settle against the curve of my body again. She draped her arms lovingly and protectively around my waist, and nestled her face into the crook of my neck. I couldn't help but smile at the contact; I loved feeling Jane's body pressed against mine._

"_I can't wait to be your wife." I whispered._

"_My wife. I love the sound of that." Jane remarked and I could feel her lips curve upwards against my neck._

I smiled at the memory before beginning my vows.

"Jane. Before I met you, I thought my world had everything I needed to be happy. I had nothing else to compare it to, and then you walked into my life. And _everything _changed. I realised how empty my world was without you in it and my whole life was no longer capable of making me happy. Not without you. I _love _everything about you, Jane. I love the way you challenge me like no one ever has. I love the way you look at me, like no one ever has. And I love the way you love me, like no one ever has." My voice began to waver with emotion and I beamed through the tears that were beginning to emerge.

Throughout my vows, I had maintained steady eye contact with Jane. I watched in awe as the love, joy, and sheer magic swirled within her chocolate orbs. Her emotive eyes glistened and a stunning smile graced her lips.

"I can't imagine spending my life without you, so please say yes to me in a few minutes… Then I won't have to!" I chuckled.

Jane laughed too and her elusive dimples appeared. I loved being the reason for her smiles, her laughter, her happiness.

"Jane." The minister encouraged Jane to begin.

"Maura _Dorthea _Isles." Jane grinned. "Before I met you, my world revolved around one thing… Work – ooh and maybe coffee!" Jane added before the crowd erupted into a brief fit of giggles. "And I liked it that way. On my own. But then I met you and you saw through the façade. You saw me. And for some unknown reason, you chose to put up with me! You chose to stick around for the sarcasm, the grouchiness, and the tears. You stuck it out through it all. We have been through so much together and despite how confused I might have been, or lost I might have gotten, there was always you. Finding me and guiding me and saving me. In more ways than you will ever know. I can't possibly describe how much I love you, so I'll tell you _why _I love you. You see the world in a way that no one else does and you appreciate _everything_, including me. There is no one in the world like you. And if _you _say yes in the next few minutes, I'll get to spend the rest of my life trying to see the world through your eyes; appreciating everything, including you. The most unique, gorgeous and intelligent woman I have ever met."

"Maura and Jane, you came here today to exchange these vows. Maura, do you take this woman to be thy wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I stated with absolute certainty, gazing into Jane's loving eyes.

"Jane, do you take this woman to be thy wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Jane grinned, her eyes twinkling more than ever before.

"The rings, please?" The Minister asked, gesturing for Rosa to step forward.

She looked at me for approval or encouragement, and I nodded with a smile. Rosa shyly held out the little cushion containing the rings.

"Thank you, sweetie." I whispered as I picked up the ring for Jane.

I had wanted my wedding ring to be white gold as my engagement ring was an antique sapphire and diamond ring, set in white gold. I wanted my wedding band to match. However, Jane had picked out a yellow gold engagement ring and she wanted to stick with the yellow gold for the wedding bands because that was more traditional. In the end, we reached a compromise and opted for bespoke wedding rings in white and yellow gold. The fusion of white and yellow gold symbolically uniting two souls as one, and proving that two individuals can blend as one without losing their own identity.

"Jane, this ring symbolises my desire for you to be my wife, from this day forward." I beamed as I slipped the ring onto her slender finger.

"Maura, this ring symbolises _my_ desire for you to be my wife, from this day forward."

"If anyone can show just cause why this couple should not be joined together, speak now –"

"Nobody say anything!" Rosa exclaimed forcefully as she scanned the faces of our guests.

Jane and I chuckled quietly at the adorableness of her outburst. It meant the world to me that she loved Jane and approved of our relationship. The rest of the room joined in with our laughter and Rosa just watched on with a puzzled expression and her bottom lip comically sticking out.

"It's not funny." She pouted.

"I know it's not, buddy. I think everybody's laughing because people don't usually answer the question." Jane replied sweetly as she knelt down to talk to Rosa.

She was so good with her and I couldn't imagine a better parent for my daughter.

"Why would that man ask a question if he knew no one was going to answer him?"

"Because he has to; it's part of his job." Jane smiled.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Rosa mumbled quietly.

"Hey, don't be upset, buddy. It's okay."

Jane offered Rosa one of her special smiles, letting her know that she really meant it, and Rosa cheered up instantly. The minister resumed the ceremony.

"Well, in that case…" He began. "By the power vested in me by the state of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you wife and wife."

"May I kiss my wife now?" Jane beamed.

"You'd better!" I quipped.

Jane covered Rosa's eyes with one hand and placed a chaste and tender kiss upon my lips. Everyone laughed again as Rosa moved to peer over Jane's hand. Following the kiss, a round of applause swept through the church and everyone rose from their seats to show their support.

* * *

**Jane's POV:**

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! What were you thinking trying to sneak into Maura's dressing room?! It's bad luck, you know better than that!"

"Alright, which one of 'em snitched? Was it Maura? I bet it was Maura. Rosa loves me too much – kid's got my back!" I chuckled.

"Nobody snitched! I had to watch your sorry ass skulk back in here!"

"Ma! Language!" I gasped, faking horror.

"What? Like you've never heard the word _ass_ before! I'm gonna have to get you a leash or something… Maybe borrow Korsak's cuffs." She joked.

"Even they wouldn't be able to keep me away from Maura." I grinned devilishly.

"Stay away from Maura!" Ma warned. "You'll see her again before you know it, but right now, you need to finish getting ready!"

"Yes, _ma_." I huffed, rolling my eyes.

"You know, Janie" ma began, her tone soft and filled with love. "You are officially the most beautiful bride ever."

"Ha! Clearly I'm not the only one who hasn't seen Maura yet!"

"You look gorgeous, Janie… and you're not even in your dress yet!" Ma joked, ignoring my comment about Maura.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders from behind, and we gazed at our appearances in the mirror.

"You are gonna look so beautiful in that dress." Ma blubbered, suddenly overcome by happy tears.

"Ma, don't! Cause if you cry, then I'm gonna cry and I really don't wanna have to redo my makeup… It took me long enough the first time!" I joked, feeling my own eyes well up a little.

"Okay, alright. I'm sorry." Ma muttered as she rubbed under her eyes. "I just – I'm just so happy!"

"Me too, ma. Me too." I beamed as I stroked my fingertips along her arm.

"Right, well, I'm gonna leave you to get ready, and go claim my seat before Constance or Hope steal it!" Ma snickered. "Good luck, baby. And whatever you do… Don't trip!"

"I'm not gonna trip, ma!" I groaned.

"Love you." Ma exclaimed, blowing me a kiss as she left the room.

"Love you too." I called after her.

I studied my face in the mirror one last time before casting my gaze towards my dress. There it was, in all its glory, hanging on one of those dress mannequin thingies. For once in my life, I wanted to look nice and feel pretty. I know it's not just about looks, it's what's on the inside that really counts… But it was my wedding day, for god's sake, and I wanted to look _pretty_. As I slipped into my gown, it all became real. I thought back to all of the planning that went into this particular day.

"_Jane, we really need to talk." Maura sighed as she stood before me._

"_It wasn't me! I didn't do it!" I responded quickly as I shuffled uncomfortably on the couch._

"_Didn't do what?" She frowned._

"_Nothing. What – what did you want to talk to me about?"_

_Phew. I was so relieved that she hadn't noticed the juice stain on one of the couch cushions. I had been having a tickle fight with Rosa earlier and I learnt the hard way that that is never a good idea when the kid has a juice box! I was planning to ask ma to help me get the stain out before Maura noticed._

"_We need to decide tonight."_

"_What?"_

"_Everything. The only thing you've decided about our wedding is that you'll be coming down the aisle to the Mission Impossible theme-tune!" Maura huffed._

"_It's an excellent score." I smirked._

_In all honestly, I was only joking when I made the suggestion and the look on Maura's face was priceless!_

"_To which I said a definitive no!" She exclaimed and I chuckled. "So, here's the deal… I will take off one item of clothing for every decision you make." Maura added seductively._

"_Okay, you have my full attention." I smiled as I sat up straight, zoning in on the stunning seductress in front of me._

"_Wonderful. So, where would you like to get married?" Maura asked as she tugged on the buttons of her blouse._

"_Well, ma always wanted me to get married in a pretty church and she says she knows a lovely minister."_

"_Is that what you want?"_

"_Yeah, I guess."_

"_Jane, this is our wedding day! You do not just guess!"_

"_Fine, yes. That is what I want… But only because Fenway Park is out of the question!"_

"_Okay." Maura smirked as she unbuttoned her blouse to reveal a lacy black bra._

"_Oh my god." I sighed as my eyes devoured her._

_She removed her blouse and threw it onto the couch. God, my girl was hot._

"_And seeing as you already answered my next question of who should marry us, I suppose I should lose this as well." Maura added as she slowly unzipped her skirt and stepped out of it._

"_I have no idea why anyone would complain about planning their wedding!" I chuckled. "This isn't stressful at all!"_

"_Maid of Honour?"_

"_Damn!" I muttered as I clutched my head in my hands._

"_Maid of Honour!" Maura repeated as she teasingly tugged on the clasp of her bra._

"_This is so hard!" I threw my hands up in defeat._

"_You have to choose someone!"_

"_But I don't have any close female friends! And – and neither do you! Who have you picked?!"_

"_I was thinking of asking your mother."_

"_My mother?"_

"_Yes, she has been such a good friend to me over the years. Do you think she'll mind?"_

"_Mind? Maura, I think she'll be thrilled. It's just, you know what my mother's like… She's going to want to take over everything and it'll drive you crazy!"_

"_Good point. Perhaps we can mull it over for a little while longer." Maura agreed as she dropped her hands down to her sides._

"_Hey, no fair! We had a deal!" I huffed._

"_The deal was that I would remove an item of clothing of my choice whenever we made a decision, and a decision has not yet been reached for this particular matter. Thus, it is absolutely fair that I should keep my bra on."_

"_Fine." I relented. "Come on! Hit me with the next one!"_

"_Honeymoon?"_

"_Paris. You've always said how much you love it there and I've never been before. I'd love to explore the City of Love with you."_

"_Excellent choice." Maura beamed before removing the offending item of clothing._

"_First dance song?"_

"_Biggest Part of Me!" I joked._

"_I am not taking my panties off for Ambrosia!"_

"_But it was on the mixed-tape I made you! Take off your panties!" I ordered playfully._

"_I will not!" Maura stated jovially before scampering off into the bedroom._

_As always, I was hot on her heels and before long, my pursuit of her had evolved into a passionate make-out session. One of the best make-out sessions of my life. We were both curled up in each other's arms, enjoying the sensation of bare skin against bare skin. Our hearts were beating in unison as I gazed into Maura's alluring hazel eyes._

"_I love you Maura, and I am so happy we're doing this." I grinned._

It was hard to believe that my wedding day was finally here. This was the first day of the rest of my life and I couldn't wait to become Maura's wife.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, halting my sweet reverie.

"Morning Jane, you look nice." Korsak informed as he entered the room.

"Boy am I glad to see you! For a minute there, I thought it was gonna be my mother again!"

"Nope, only me." He chuckled quietly. "So, how are you feeling? Nervous?"

"Oddly enough, no. You know, I always thought I'd be a nervous wreck on my wedding day but I'm not. I'm cool as a cucumber! The woman of my dreams is just across the hall, waiting for me to marry her. Waiting to start the next chapter of our lives and live happily ever after. What's there to be nervous about?" I replied confidently.

"That's a good sign. I was a mess on all three of my wedding days… Maybe that means you and Maura will have better luck!"

"Here's hoping!" I quipped heartily and Korsak joined in with a chuckle.

I turned my attention to the folded-up handkerchief on my dressing table. I carefully picked it up and unwrapped it, the action not going unnoticed by Korsak.

"What have you got there?"

"Something old." I smiled as I rolled the token across my knuckles. "It's one half of a token from Boston May Fair '89. I was thirteen and I met a boy there. We went on a bunch of rides together. It was the first real crush I ever had." I chuckled to myself. "I don't even remember his name anymore but, at the time, it all felt _so _real. Anyway, at the end of the night, we only had one token left. It didn't seem fair that only one of us should have it, so we decided to break it in half. I kept it all this time to remind myself that somewhere out there, if I'm lucky, is my other half. Someone out there who is perfect for me."

"Cute story." Korsak smirked.

"It _is_! And now –" I whispered pensively. "Now I've found my other half."

"I'm really happy for you, Jane." Korsak stated affectionately.

"Thanks Korsak." I began. "And thanks again for agreeing to give me away. I know you're not my father –"

"I'm not old enough to be your father!" Korsak joked. "But I am so honoured that you asked me."

I smiled before swiftly enveloping him in a hug, catching him off guard.

"I couldn't ask for a better father figure; you've always been there for me and you've always had my back, no matter what. I couldn't imagine anyone else doing it." I replied honestly.

As a kid, I always imagined that pop would give me away. He would tell me how proud he was of me and he would be there waiting to dance with me for the highly anticipated father-daughter dance. But now, the vision had changed. There was no way I would ever let my father give me away, not after the way he disrespected ma and tore our family apart. And especially not after all the things he said about Maura and our relationship. There was no longer a place for him at our wedding, and no longer a place for him in our lives.

Korak pulled away from my embrace, chuckling at how soppy and mushy we were acting. "Come on, kid. Let's get you married! Do it right and you'll only have to do it once!"

Korsak bent his arm and I linked mine through it. We slowly made our way from my dressing room to the chapel door and we waited patiently outside for what felt like eternity. Finally, the heavy oak doors opened and a soft melody met my ears. My heart began to flutter and butterflies began to materialise in my stomach.

"Oh my god, I'm gonna trip! I'm gonna trip, Korsak!" I muttered nervously and quietly in Korsak's ear.

"You are not going to trip." He stated vehemently. "Just breathe. You've got this."

I glanced down at my high heels and carefully placed one foot in front of the other, letting out a deep and shaky breath as I did so. After a few steps, I felt the overwhelming desire to look up. And, once I did, I was greeted by the most amazing and beautiful sight. Maura. In the crowded church, she was the only one I could see. Just Maura. Nothing but Maura. Her delicate features appeared softer than ever, as smile graced her luscious lips. Her eyes shone brighter than the sun and lit up her entire face. Her gorgeous curls were pulled into this half up, half down hairstyle… I'm sure it has some fancy name but you'd have to ask Maura what that is! She was wearing a white veil that complemented her dress perfectly. That dress. Her gown was silk charmeuse with an empire waist… Just like she'd fantasised, well, minus the twenty foot train! She looked positively radiant and one look at her was all it took to calm my nerves.

"You're right. I'm not gonna trip." I beamed, my eyes never leaving Maura's. "_We've _got this."

Finally we reached the altar. Korsak released my arm and placed a feather-light kiss upon my cheek. I stepped up to meet Maura, and let out a sigh of relief and contentment. I couldn't suppress the broad and goofy grin that invaded my mouth. This was it. The happiest day of my life. The moment where our hearts entwined and our souls officially became one. Always and forever.

* * *

"Wow! Look at this place! You and ma should do this for a living!" I exclaimed as I looked around the room in awe.

The ceremony went off without a hitch and now our wedding reception was in full force. The room was full of our loved ones; family, friends, and colleagues. It looked like everyone was having a blast, engaging in their own private little conversations and their laughter resonating throughout.

"Ladies and gentleman, at this time I'd like everyone to direct their attention to the dancefloor as I introduce to you, for the first time anywhere as wife and wife, Mrs and Mrs Rizzoli-Isles!" The DJ announced and the crowd went wild as Maura and I made our grand entrance.

I held onto her hand so tightly, never wanting to let her slip away. Our smiles were brighter than they had ever been and our hearts lighter than I ever thought possible as we made our way onto the dancefloor.

"And now for their first dance." He continued and the crowd offered an encouraging applause.

"This doesn't sound like Ambrosia!" I joked, knowing full well that Maura would never let our first dance be along to 'The Biggest Part of Me' as I had jokingly proposed!

"That's because it isn't. I know you're a huge fan of Elvis Costello, so this song seemed particularly fitting." Maura smiled knowingly.

The luxurious laughter, the sensual murmur faded away under the swelling music of the piano and the subsequent introduction of various other instruments. Almost instantaneously, I recognised the song and returned Maura's smile. It was an excellent choice, not that Maura would have settled for anything less. I securely wrapped my arms around her, with my right hand clasped around hers. We fused together, feeling the words and the rhythm of the music and expressing it though our minds and bodies. I could feel the unmistakable passion ignite between us as I could feel her beating heart thumping against my own. We continued to press against each other, gently swaying to the beat, for the duration of the song. And we would whisper sweet nothings and steal chaste kisses at every given opportunity.

_**She – Elvis Costello:**_

_She_

_May be the face I can't forget_

_A trace of pleasure or regret_

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay

_She may be the song that summer sings_

_May be the chill that autumn brings_

_May be a hundred different things_

_Within the measure of a day._

_She_

_May be the beauty or the beast_

_May be the famine or the feast_

_May turn each day into a heaven or a hell_

_She may be the mirror of my dreams_

_A smile reflected in a stream_

_She may not be what she may seem_

_Inside her shell_

_She who always seems so happy in a crowd_

_Whose eyes can be so private and so proud_

_No one's allowed to see them when they cry_

_She may be the love that cannot hope to last_

_May come to me from shadows of the past_

_That I'll remember till the day I die_

_She_

_May be the reason I survive_

_The why and wherefore I'm alive_

_The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years_

_Me I'll take her laughter and her tears_

_And make them all my souvenirs_

_For where she goes I've got to be_

_The meaning of my life is_

_She_

Once the song ended, another one began and our guests joined us on the dancefloor. It felt unbelievably good to be surrounded by our closest friends and family, to have them share in our love and our joy. To experience the magical bond that Maura and I shared, and to support us as we began the exciting new chapter of our lives together.

"We did it." Maura beamed as she gazed adoringly into my eyes, her own shimmering like globes of pixie dust. "We really did it!"

"Yes, we did." I stated emphatically, my heart swelling with love.

"So, what now?" Maura asked, refusing to avert her gaze.

"I don't know." I chuckled and Maura joined in. "I'm kinda new to this whole _marriage thing_. I guess we'll just have to figure it out as we go." I smiled.

"That sounds good to me." Maura replied, her dimples appearing as she spoke.

"Really?! You don't need action plans or schedules?" I quipped, affectionately nudging.

"No." Maura shook her head. "Because I have you and that's all I'll ever need. I love you, Jane."

"I love you too, Maur." I whispered in her ear before kissing her tenderly and sensually.

The music began to fade and I was alerted to the swift, uplifting hustle and bustle of the people around us. The room was silenced by the clinking of Frankie's champagne flute and everyone turned their attention to my wonderful little brother as he prepared to make a toast.

"I'm not the most eloquent speaker, so I thought I would borrow a few words from my old friend, The Bard… You know, just to get the ball rolling! 'Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.' When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same." Frankie nodded at Maura and me, and offered us a warm smile. "Everyone in this room has witnessed the magic, the chemistry, between Jane and Maura. They do something that's so special and very rare to see in anybody. They give their hearts to each other. Unconditionally. And that's where the magic lies. That's what true love really is. It's not this fairy-tale life that never knows pain, but it's two souls facing it together and diminishing it. With unconditional love. The love that they share can give us all hope that we, too, might be so lucky. So here's to Jane and Maura. Here's to hope and here's to a love that will not alter."

My heart swelled with pride and joy. Frankie really hit it out of the park with his touching speech and the audience lapped it up, offering him an enthusiastic round of applause.

"I love you, little brother." I whispered with a smile.

"I love you too, Janie."

"And now, this time I need all the single ladies to make their way onto the dancefloor… Jane and Maura have something they want to toss your way!" The DJ announced in his charismatic voice.

After hearing his request, Maura and I raced to grab our bouquets. I glanced behind us to see ma, Cailin, Nina and Hope, all standing in the front row, all eagerly anticipating the ceremonious bouquet toss.

"Okay, girls. When you're ready!"

Maura and I exchanged competitive smirks before turning our backs to our female friends and tossing our bouquets. The flowers flew gracefully through the air before the women leapt up and tried to grab them. I swear, ma practically wrestled Maura's bouquet out of Cailin's hands and she was waving it above her head like it was an Olympic trophy! My bouquet, on the other hand, had a much more pleasant flight and landed safely in Nina's unsuspecting arms. I'm not sure who looked more nervous, her or Frankie!

"What are you thinking about?" Maura asked lovingly as she gazed into my eyes.

"Frost." I smiled sadly. "You know, when he found out that I was in love with you, he asked me if I wanted to marry you someday. I told him that I did, and do you know what he said to me? He said that he was gonna be the best maid of honour… Better than Patrick Dempsey!" I chuckled at the memory.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I don't understand that pop-culture reference. Who is Patrick Dempsey?"

"You know, McDreamy from Grey's anatomy!" I looked at Maura who remained just as bamboozled. "Nope? Never mind. Anyway, he was in a movie where he played a male maid of honour. You really don't watch many romantic comedies, do you?"

"You should know by now that I really don't!" Maura chuckled.

"I'd like to think he's here with us today, that's why I left the spot open. Just for him."

"Patrick Dempsey?"

"No! Frost!" I exclaimed with a chuckle. "I couldn't give a crap if McDreamy was here! I was more of a McDimples kind of girl anyway."

"McDimples? And McDreamy?" Maura frowned before shaking her head and laughing. "Wow, these characters have some interesting names."

Maura and I continued to dance for what felt like forever. Not that I minded though. I was more than happy to sway with her and allow myself to get lost within those gorgeous green-hazel orbs. The stillness of the moment settled for much more than a moment… That is, until a little hand tugged on my dress and shook me from my trance.

"Aunt Jane? May I have this dance?" Rosa asked so very sweetly and politely.

I looked over at Maura and couldn't hold back the hushed whisper of an "aww" that slipped my lips. Rosa was too cute for real words! Maura gave me an enthusiastic nod and we broke away from each other's embrace.

"I'm just going to peruse the Hors d'oeuvres." Maura excused herself with a smile.

I scooped Rosa up and rested her on my hip, the sudden movement eliciting a giggle from the little blonde. We gently swayed along to the music and exchanged pleasant chit-chat. Maura had brought her up to be so polite; it was adorable, she was totally a mini-Maura. In every way.

"I love your dress, Rosa. It looks really pretty on you." I smiled.

"Thank you, Aunt Jane. Mommy let me choose it myself. I wanted to wear a pink dress but mommy preferred a white one with a pink bow. I gave her the puppy dog eyes, just like you taught me, and she let me have this one. She said it isn't _pink _pink, it is 'barely blush.'" Rosa added, doing her best impression of Maura.

"Well, I think it's a very pretty pink colour!" I chuckled.

"Aunt Jane, can I ask you a question?" Rosa asked seriously.

"Sure, buddy. You can ask me anything, you know that." I smiled softly.

"Have you always called your mommy 'ma'?"

"Um, no. When I was little, I used to call her mama." I replied, very confused as to why she was suddenly interested in what I used to call ma.

"Okay." Rosa smiled.

"Okay?" I repeated.

"Yes, I wanted to know what you called your mommy so that I would know what to call you. I already have a mommy, so I can't call you mommy as well. But I can't call you Aunt Jane anymore either."

"Buddy, you can still call me Aunt Jane if that's what you want. You can call me whatever feels right to you."

"I like mama. You feel like my mama." Rosa beamed.

Suddenly, my body was overwhelmed by this warm and fuzzy feeling. 'She called me mama.' I thought to myself and I couldn't help but grin like the Cheshire Cat. She called _me_ mama. It was the best feeling in the world and I just wanted to bottle it up so that I would always remember how incredible it felt. That day wasn't just the day I became a wife, I also officially became a mama. Who am I kidding? I could never forget that moment.

When the song ended, Rosa kissed me on the cheek and scurried off to play with TJ. I found my wonderful wife standing in front of the buffet table, and I delicately wrapped my arms around her waist. She sighed into my embrace and I rested my head on her shoulder.

"I was wondering if I'd ever get my wife back!" She joked as she turned around in my arms, trying to face me.

"She called me mama!" I chorused happily.

"What?" Maura furrowed her brow.

"Rosa. She – she called me mama!" I beamed once more.

I watched as Maura's expression became unreadable. Suddenly my heart plummeted. Was that not okay? Maybe I should have asked Maura first before allowing Rosa to call me mama. She was _her _daughter after all.

"Jane." Maura sighed before continuing. "You tell her stories, you tuck her in at night, you look after her when she gets sick, and you even coach her little league team! I've always considered you to be my daughter's other mother."

"So, you're okay with it then?"

"Okay with it? Jane, I couldn't be happier! You are a wonderful mother to _our _daughter and you deserve the title of 'mama'. You've earned it!" Maura chuckled before capturing my lips in a tender kiss.

That day was a day like any other, but I had changed. I was now a wife and a mother, almost in an instant. And the person I was, before Maura and Rosa crept into my life, had disappeared. That Jane was gone forever. I was lost for them to find, and now I'm theirs and they are mine. Always and forever. I will love them unconditionally, I will protect them at all costs, and I will cherish them both until the day I die.

* * *

**A/N: I would like to thank all my readers for their positive and constructive reviews. Although I am an adult, I am not a world-renowned author. Not even close and I didn't ever claim to be. At the end of the day, all of the authors on this site are regular people with passion for writing. We have feelings. So please be kind. **


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